As I was walking back from the gym this afternoon a thought hit me. No, not that despite sweating like a rather unfit pig on a spit (mmm… spitroast…. sorry, sidetracked) for 30 minutes every lunchtime for 2 months I still don’t look any fitter and my knees hurt. Though that did cross my mind. No, this thought was “it’s the middle of October and I could be sunbathing out here”.
Well, we all know about global warming and the evil greenhouse gases. So it’s all their fault. Now, as far as I’m aware, this is because these gases float up, get stuck in the sky and act like a 40-tog atmospheric duvet, keeping the heat in.
Conversely, there’s apparently a whacking big hole in the atmosphere over the North Pole that goes right out to space, which is kinda cold. This hole’s caused by CFC’s – different gases that eat ozone.
Now, I think the answer to our problems is staring us in the face. Get all those old fridges and smash them up. Spray every aging canister of Lynx you have until it’s empty. Then grab another. Repeat until out of Lynx, asphyxiated or shagged to death by all the gorgeous women that (according to the adverts) will want to **** your brains out.
These will make the ozone hole bigger. The hole is at the top of our planet and heat rises. So all this heat that’s being trapped will just gravitate upwards to the north pole, through the enlarged ozone hole and into space.
Sorted.
What we don’t want to happen is end up with a dead warm planet and a teeny ozone hole. Otherwise all the heat will build up and try to get out the ozone hole all at once, resulting in an effect similar to jet propulsion and we might shoot out of orbit and land on Mars a bit earlier than expected.
See? Now why am I not in one of those environmental think tanks? I’m smart, me.
Cheetahgirrl – I think you’re new. Welcome. And yes, we did. Not only is this good simply because it is, it’s also won me dinner in a bet. Sorted!
Damo – Should be “Shola… Shola… and then Emre…” Frankly, I can’t believe the beanpole managed to get his head to two balls in a whole game, let alone get them into the net. Don’t care, though. He did!
Already done this on B&W&RAO…………………….
but here we go again………………………………….
Who put the ball in the mackem’s net?
.
.
Emre
Emre
at least we beat the mackem ******. phew.
Not according to the adverts. If they’re anything to go by (and they’d not lie) she’d be playing with one of the fit birds and inviting you to join in.
I would be very hot in that situation, but that would be from Ms. Damo grilling my testicles over a roaring fire.
Damo – bit would you really care about being hot in that situation?
OldBox – that was actually a revelation on the way from the gym. I had a bottle of 6.7% perry last night after dinner and the only revelation I experienced was that I was drunk and extremely tired.
Methinks the headline should read ‘Here comes the in-the-Pub-after-a-few-Stellas science bit’.
I once wrote down all the revelations I had during a drinking session. Reading them the following morning was a revelation in itself. This wasn’t one of the things I wrote down:
Revelation: No! It a lever!
It’s possibly a good idea. I am not sure about the idea of using lynx – surely the amount of women you would have to fend off would mean that you’d get even hotter
Only cos you know I’m right!
Shakes her head… and walks away!
I’m not even going to get started on this one 🙂