Don’t know who Gary Thuerk is? Not really surprising, but you’ll certainly know what the bastard’s (at least partially) to blame for: spam. This dozy ****** sent the first ever spam message over ARPANET, the fore-runner to the internet, on May 3rd 1978. And he deserves to be stabbed in the face for it. As do the retards who continue his foul scheming to this day. And the daft ***** who buy stuff from the spammers, thus making it profitable.
I was actually considering a post about spam roughly a week ago. Purely by coincidence, but it’s worked out that I may as well post it on this “anniversary”. As luck would have it, I got another spam-related link through one of the web pages I check regularly and it’s worth a look. ASpamADay takes those rather ridiculous spam titles and turns them into cartoons.
My original post hinged around the titles of spams as well. Basically, I didn’t bother emptying my GMail spam folder for a few days. From the 19th of April until the time I post this entry, I’ve received 585 spams. Not too bad considering that it’s estimated that 100 billion of the bloody things are sent each day.
Here’s the pick of the ludicrous titles. The “Enlarge your…” series is particularly imaginative.
- Capability of ejaculation (from Normal Sexual)
- You Can Enlarge Your Penis By 3″ Compare Top 5 Penis Enlargers
- Blow her away with this
- She can’t get hornier than this
- Girls like when it big (girls also like it when you use proper diction)
- Make it large and steady as rock!
- Satisfactory sexual intercourse
- What sounds like tremble doll (what?!)
- Forget about small male device length
- Final penetration
- The whole 10 inches
- Male Enhancement
- 3 tips to dirty dance into her pants
- Chase away your sexual blues
- What They Don’t Want You To Know What It Does To Your Body!
- Feel the power in your pants
- BDSM is her favorite hobby
- The world’s leading farmacy (sic)
- These rep1!c@s are rattling good!
- Girls go crazy groping you
- Great popping cleavage
- Bang her inside out (won’t that be messy?)
- Fantastic rack of cleavage
- Give her the biggest bang
- Achieve deep and complete penetration
- Orgasms will no longer be a fantasy
- she has already gone to hospital…
- Permanent 3-6 inches now available
- Ejaculate and shoot over a mile
- Erection for sexual activity
- She said I have an adorable willy
- Enlarge your schlong size
- Enlarge your cucumber length
- Enlarge your dummy size
- Shoot off deeper into her
- Bevestiging link (what the hell is bevestiging?)
- Bestow this heavenly d\ck upon yourself
- Increase your penis width (girth) by upto 20%
- Make your lady happy
- You can enlarge your penis by 3″ (yes, look at some porn – works for me)
- Quick ways to lengthen, thicken and straighten
- Enlarge your baby-maker size
- Ziyi Zhang’s favorite Slkung
- It’s easy to be hard
- Get hard get big get it now
- Reach deeper into her
- Enlarge your main organ length
- Maximise your tool size
- Enlarge
- Enlarge your bell-rope size
- Upsize your sex pen1s today easily
- Make her horny with this
- People will tell you compliments about how you look like
- Bring out the T-rex in you (A Spam A Day did this one!)
- Blood flow to the penis
- Give your pecker legendary status
- Plunge your meat into her
I now expect to get a gazillion hits on my blog from people with small penises searching Google for a “cure”.
re “And the daft ***** who buy stuff from the spammers,
thus making it profitable.” … I am gobsmacked to think that anybody actually deals with those ********.
Yes “stabbed in the face” that is good.
I loathe even glancing at the MINDLESS Subject Headings as I delete those which defeat the gmail filter.
stab em in the face. 30 times. like birthday candles. a stab for every year.
I get very few dropping into my inbox, but seem to get more false positives which is worrying. I’d reckon one that slips through every 2 weeks or so. Annoying having to check through the 100 or so a day spams to make sure I don’t miss a “real” email.
Happy *stab* birth*stab*day *stab* to *stab* you *stab*…