Do not buy from…

At the risk of giving them some free publicity will dragontshirts[dot]net kindly stop trying to spam my blog with comments? Every single one gets collared as a spam, none get published and nor will they.

In addition I would heartily recommend that none of my readers remotely considers buying anything from them. After all, who wants to promote the use of comment spam as an advertising medium?


SIERRA MADRE, CA - MAY 29:  Spam, the often-ma...
No spam here

As of just now, Akismet here on my blog has blocked the nice-looking number of 6789 spam posts. I still get the occasional one that creeps through, but they never end up actually posted. I’ve got a captcha program running so someone must be manually entering these things to get them as far as Akismet.

Why on earth do people bother? Really? Ah well. It’s their wasted time, not mine.

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Most worrying spam so far…

Following on from yesterday’s post, the following spam genuinely has me concerned. No humour here. Seriously, what the hell should I do with this one? Isn’t even advertising this illegal? Or is it perhaps a “honey trap” for the real perverted filth out there?

From: Noah Adams (

Subject: XXX pictures 13 to 16yrs

Come to see the newest clips with girls from 13 to 16 years old!

[4 links removed for obvious reasons]

Seriously – is it worth forwarding this one on to someone?

Gary Thuerk, you ****


Don’t know who Gary Thuerk is? Not really surprising, but you’ll certainly know what the bastard’s (at least partially) to blame for: spam. This dozy ****** sent the first ever spam message over ARPANET, the fore-runner to the internet, on May 3rd 1978. And he deserves to be stabbed in the face for it. As do the retards who continue his foul scheming to this day. And the daft ***** who buy stuff from the spammers, thus making it profitable.

I was actually considering a post about spam roughly a week ago. Purely by coincidence, but it’s worked out that I may as well post it on this “anniversary”. As luck would have it, I got another spam-related link through one of the web pages I check regularly and it’s worth a look. ASpamADay takes those rather ridiculous spam titles and turns them into cartoons.

My original post hinged around the titles of spams as well. Basically, I didn’t bother emptying my GMail spam folder for a few days. From the 19th of April until the time I post this entry, I’ve received 585 spams. Not too bad considering that it’s estimated that 100 billion of the bloody things are sent each day.

Here’s the pick of the ludicrous titles. The “Enlarge your…” series is particularly imaginative.

  • Capability of ejaculation (from Normal Sexual)
  • You Can Enlarge Your Penis By 3″ Compare Top 5 Penis Enlargers
  • Blow her away with this
  • She can’t get hornier than this
  • Girls like when it big (girls also like it when you use proper diction)
  • Make it large and steady as rock!
  • Satisfactory sexual intercourse
  • What sounds like tremble doll (what?!)
  • Forget about small male device length
  • Final penetration
  • The whole 10 inches
  • Male Enhancement
  • 3 tips to dirty dance into her pants
  • Chase away your sexual blues
  • What They Don’t Want You To Know What It Does To Your Body!
  • Feel the power in your pants
  • BDSM is her favorite hobby
  • The world’s leading farmacy (sic)
  • These rep1!c@s are rattling good!
  • Girls go crazy groping you
  • Great popping cleavage
  • Bang her inside out (won’t that be messy?)
  • Fantastic rack of cleavage
  • Give her the biggest bang
  • Achieve deep and complete penetration
  • Orgasms will no longer be a fantasy
  • she has already gone to hospital…
  • Permanent 3-6 inches now available
  • Ejaculate and shoot over a mile
  • Erection for sexual activity
  • She said I have an adorable willy
  • Enlarge your schlong size
  • Enlarge your cucumber length
  • Enlarge your dummy size
  • Shoot off deeper into her
  • Bevestiging link (what the hell is bevestiging?)
  • Bestow this heavenly d\ck upon yourself
  • Increase your penis width (girth) by upto 20%
  • Make your lady happy
  • You can enlarge your penis by 3″ (yes, look at some porn – works for me)
  • Quick ways to lengthen, thicken and straighten
  • Enlarge your baby-maker size
  • Ziyi Zhang’s favorite Slkung
  • It’s easy to be hard
  • Get hard get big get it now
  • Reach deeper into her
  • Enlarge your main organ length
  • Maximise your tool size
  • Enlarge
  • Enlarge your bell-rope size
  • Upsize your sex pen1s today easily
  • Make her horny with this
  • People will tell you compliments about how you look like
  • Bring out the T-rex in you (A Spam A Day did this one!)
  • Blood flow to the penis
  • Give your pecker legendary status
  • Plunge your meat into her

I now expect to get a gazillion hits on my blog from people with small penises searching Google for a “cure”.

Skype spam

I’ve just encountered two instances of Skype Spam. This, basically, is someone you don’t know, randomly sending you a spam message while you’re logged on to Skype. Skype’s recommendation is to “hide” yourself to all but your contacts. There’s no method to report these freaks. The two messages I got were the same, but from different users.

[While posting this, I’ve had the same or similar messages from no less than 30 other accounts. And he’s tried to exchange contact details with me from two of them, one salled “Suzie” or something with a contact picture of a very pretty Asian girl]

Just log on, locate them and send them a ton of ****. Wanna see the conversation I just had with this prick? Here you go, slightly edited as he has a habit of just pasting the same shite over and over and over:

[17:20:25] zhangchunli says: dear friend :
I beg your pardon for disturbing you. We are the biggest Chinese foreign trade wholesalers.
If you want to do business with us, we are glad and going to offer you the most reasonable discount, which can promise you to get more profits.If you have any time, please visit our website, contact with us and we will give you a satisfying answer.
our website: [deleted]
MSN L: [go on – use it]
[17:23:06] Mosh says: Lick my rancid arsehole, you freak
[17:23:12] Mosh says: Go on – suck the **** out
[17:23:15] Mosh says: You know you like it
[17:23:50] zhangchunli says: Lick my rancid arsehole, you freak
[17:23:50] Mosh says: Swallow my chocolatey poop chunks
[17:23:53] zhangchunli says: Go on – suck the **** out
[17:23:58] zhangchunli says: Lick my rancid arsehole, you freak
[17:24:01] Mosh says: Hehe – you can cut and paste
[17:24:06] zhangchunli says: go away
[17:24:09] Mosh says: My, aren’t *you* a clever little spamming spunk -eater
[17:24:14] Mosh says: No *you* go away
[17:24:15] Mosh says: Prick
[17:25:04] zhangchunli says: My, aren’t *you* a clever little spamming spunk -eater
[22:20:09] Mosh 说: No *you* go away
[22:20:11] Mosh 说: Prick
[17:25:28] Mosh says: Amazing. Are you using a mouse or has daddy taught you the keyboard shortcuts?
[17:25:39] zhangchunli [spam message repeated about 15 times]
[17:26:06] Mosh says: On a scale of “one” to “pathetic” you make your mother look like less of a loser
[17:26:45] zhangchunli says: [spam message repeated over 30 times]
[17:27:50] Mosh says: And that’s all you can do? How much is your **** of a father paying you for sitting there annoying people?
[17:27:52] zhangchunli says: Lick my rancid arsehole, you freak

[repeated 20 times]

[17:28:03] Mosh says: You don’t even speak English, do you?
[17:28:22] Mosh says: Ah – you’re using the keyboard shortcuts. Well done. Maybe you’re not as brain dead as you first appeared.
[17:28:41] zhangchunli says: And that’s all you can do? How much is your **** of a father paying you for sitting there annoying people?

[20+ repetitions]

[17:28:46] Mosh says: *giggle*
[17:28:48] Mosh says: You make me laugh
[17:30:05] zhangchunli says: you are a big bad egg

[15+ repetitions]

[17:30:48] Mosh says: EGG?! EGG?! Is that the best you can do? How ******* old are you?
[17:30:58] zhangchunli says: And that’s all you can do? How much is your **** of a father paying you for sitting there annoying people?

[repeated again]

[17:31:39] Mosh says: There are several of us round the screen here quite literally pissing ourselves laughing ay you!
[17:31:40] zhangchunli says: you are a big bad egg


[17:31:42] Mosh says: Hahaha!
[17:32:24] zhangchunli says: **** your mother


[17:32:57] Mosh says: You wish. She’d not sink as low as someone who’s had his cock up his own’ father’s shithole
[17:33:37] zhangchunli says: **** your mothe
[17:33:42] Mosh says: Tee hee
[17:33:45] zhangchunli says: go away
[17:33:51] Mosh says: You have no imagination at all, do you?
[17:34:18] Mosh says: No. I repeat from way back – YOU go away. YOU are the spammer. YOU are the **** sending unwanted messages to complete strangers. So… YOU **** OFF.
[17:34:28] zhangchunli says: **** your mother


[17:34:36] Mosh says: You don’t even know how to block me do you?
[17:34:44] Mosh says: How old are you? Ten?
[17:34:55] zhangchunli says: How old are you
[17:34:57] zhangchunli says: ?
[17:36:12] Mosh says: The last time I saw a conversation with so much repetition, it was a small boy trying to annoy his mother. You’re truly pathetic
[17:36:45] zhangchunli says: what ?
[17:36:48] zhangchunli says: why
[17:36:49] zhangchunli says: ?
[17:37:29] zhangchunli says: you scold me first
[17:37:32] Mosh says: Because you have no imagination, no idea how to respond to an outburst, no idea how irritating it is to send message to people you don’t know.
[17:37:36] Mosh says: No – you ****** me off first.
[17:37:40] Mosh says: You sent me a spam.
[17:38:15] Mosh says: I don’t know you. **** knows I really don’t *want* to know you. You’ve done it from three separate account on Skype so far. You’re a spammer. Spamming = BAD. People hate spammers. Or are you so out of touch you can’t figure that out?
[17:38:36] zhangchunli says: do you a businessman
[17:38:39] zhangchunli says: ]?
[17:38:48] Mosh says: So take your 1010 account, your wwweee159, this one and the gazillion others and shove them up your arse
[17:38:50] zhangchunli says: why scold me
[17:38:59] Mosh says: How stupid are you?
[17:39:00] Mosh says: Really?
[17:39:10] Mosh says: Read this carefully:
[17:39:30] Mosh says: Sending people unsolicited messages (that is – messages they did not ask to be sent) is SPAM. It is RUDE.
[17:39:54] Mosh says: To do so from 20-30 different accounts is *harassment*. That is VERY RUDE.
[17:40:04] Mosh says: Am I keeping this simple enough for you? Or should I use shorter words?
[17:40:59] zhangchunli says: the messageshas been send ?
[17:41:12] Mosh says: *sigh*
[17:41:18] Mosh says: You don’t even speak English very well, do you?
[17:41:31] zhangchunli says: no
[17:41:34] Mosh says: If your company is so good, you’d not have to resort to this kind of invasive marketing
[17:41:41] Mosh says: What you are doing is WRONG.
[17:41:43] Mosh says: Is it BAD
[17:42:00] Mosh says: It is rude, ignorant, unthinking, selfish, annoying and not going to get you any customers
[17:42:21] Mosh says: Do what real companies do. Advertise in newspapers, on the radio, on TV. Get posters. Just don’t send random messages on Skype.
[17:42:32] Mosh says: Skype is for friends to talk on. Not for idiots like you to advertise on.

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