OK. Manchester United…

I just posted this as a reply on Watching Geordie Life and I went off on one slightly. So I thought I’d post it here as well. Feel free to post comments about how Newcastle have won **** all on 50 years (and I’ll contradict you – we have, so suck my cock) and how ManUre are the winningest team ever (also wrong). Or try to be constructive – that’d make a nice change.

Andy Gray is not allowed to comment because he’s a ****.

FACT: ManUre are the only “United” in the football league never to have formed from two or more other teams. Which is where the term “United” comes from. Hence, they’re not truly “United”. Their chants of “There’s only one United” are actually a shorter version of “There’s only one United which has no semantic qualifaction for the term whatsoever and that would be us”. Only I assume it’s a little too lengthy for them to remember if they can’t even look in a dictionary.

FACT: The team wasn’t even formed in Manchester, it was formed in some little rural village outside. Hence there’s only one true Manchester team and that’s City.

Have success all you like, claim to be the biggest club in the world (I think they have the largest debts, if that counts), say that you’ve won more than any team in the last 15 years… all true. But try to at least know something about your club’s history and not say that you’re something you’re not.

I’m not really a ManUre hater, as such. I think they played magnificent football last season and genuinely deserved to win the title. I just dislike the way they’re handled specially by the press and revered by the likes of Andy “sorry, Mr Ferguson, did my tongue tickle your colon” Gray.