Who do I not want to win the least?

Fútbol Club Barcelona Crest
Guess who I'm favouring?

Today’s the Champions League Final in Rome. For the first time in ages, the two teams competing are actually both current champions of their respective leagues – Manchester United from England, and FC Barcelona of Spain. The thing is, who should I give a shout for and who would I rather see going home empty-handed?

In ye olde days, tradition in this situation would be to shout for the “home” team – in this case Man U. The thing is, they’re not much of a home team now. Followed by more people outside of their residential city then in, managed by a guy from another country, owned by an American gnome and featuring players predominantly from other nations.

Barca are no better with over half their squad being non-Spaniards – although in the fairness of balance both teams could field good squads under the bandied-about 6+5 rule.

Both teams are international phenomena, with supporters worldwide who’ve never even been to the relevant country, let alone the city, stadium or a game. But isn’t that just football, these days? Both have a lot of success in their past  and a lot of people will naturally dislike a winner. Others will flock to them.

I can see a lot of English supporters pulling for Barca. Conversely, I can see a lot of Spaniards crossing their fingers and hoping that Man U do the job. It’s a difficult decision to make.

But I’ve made it.

Eventually, the decision – for me – hinged on one word and one word alone: Ronaldo.

I just want to see the diving, pretentious, self-centred, arrogant little bastard in tears at the end of the night. I don’t care one way or the other about any of the Barcelona squad. Most of the rest of the Man U lot I have no strong opinion on. But I bloody hate Ronaldo.

And for that reason I’ll be silently cheering on Barcelona.

[As a quick aside, I hear there are worries of violence in Rome and that a large area has been served with a temporary drinking ban to help prevent this. I hope every single fan going there to watch the game has an awesome time and comes home in one piece. It’s still only a bloody game.]

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Is it ManUre’s turn?

Following on from Northern Rock plunging into crisis and being bailed out, then XL biting the dust, it seems that AIG is being rescued by the US government as people cash in their policies at a vast speed. AIG sponsor ManU, and it would be quite amusing to see the World’s Biggest *****Club (c)(tm)(r) wearing a shirt with no sponsor’s logo on it for a while.

Mind, I don’t see any jokes floating around as there were when our sponsor nearly went belly up. Given that the press is based in London with the rest of the hard core Man U brigade, this perhaps isn’t so surprising.

In fairness, even if AIG does flop I can’t see Man U joining us and West Ham in having their manager walk out.

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OK. Manchester United…

Manchester United's emblem

I just posted this as a reply on Watching Geordie Life and I went off on one slightly. So I thought I’d post it here as well. Feel free to post comments about how Newcastle have won **** all on 50 years (and I’ll contradict you – we have, so suck my cock) and how ManUre are the winningest team ever (also wrong). Or try to be constructive – that’d make a nice change.

Andy Gray is not allowed to comment because he’s a ****.

FACT: ManUre are the only “United” in the football league never to have formed from two or more other teams. Which is where the term “United” comes from. Hence, they’re not truly “United”. Their chants of “There’s only one United” are actually a shorter version of “There’s only one United which has no semantic qualifaction for the term whatsoever and that would be us”. Only I assume it’s a little too lengthy for them to remember if they can’t even look in a dictionary.

FACT: The team wasn’t even formed in Manchester, it was formed in some little rural village outside. Hence there’s only one true Manchester team and that’s City.

Have success all you like, claim to be the biggest club in the world (I think they have the largest debts, if that counts), say that you’ve won more than any team in the last 15 years… all true. But try to at least know something about your club’s history and not say that you’re something you’re not.

I’m not really a ManUre hater, as such. I think they played magnificent football last season and genuinely deserved to win the title. I just dislike the way they’re handled specially by the press and revered by the likes of Andy “sorry, Mr Ferguson, did my tongue tickle your colon” Gray.

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