Who do I not want to win the least?

Fútbol Club Barcelona Crest
Guess who I'm favouring?

Today’s the Champions League Final in Rome. For the first time in ages, the two teams competing are actually both current champions of their respective leagues – Manchester United from England, and FC Barcelona of Spain. The thing is, who should I give a shout for and who would I rather see going home empty-handed?

In ye olde days, tradition in this situation would be to shout for the “home” team – in this case Man U. The thing is, they’re not much of a home team now. Followed by more people outside of their residential city then in, managed by a guy from another country, owned by an American gnome and featuring players predominantly from other nations.

Barca are no better with over half their squad being non-Spaniards – although in the fairness of balance both teams could field good squads under the bandied-about 6+5 rule.

Both teams are international phenomena, with supporters worldwide who’ve never even been to the relevant country, let alone the city, stadium or a game. But isn’t that just football, these days? Both have a lot of success in their past  and a lot of people will naturally dislike a winner. Others will flock to them.

I can see a lot of English supporters pulling for Barca. Conversely, I can see a lot of Spaniards crossing their fingers and hoping that Man U do the job. It’s a difficult decision to make.

But I’ve made it.

Eventually, the decision – for me – hinged on one word and one word alone: Ronaldo.

I just want to see the diving, pretentious, self-centred, arrogant little bastard in tears at the end of the night. I don’t care one way or the other about any of the Barcelona squad. Most of the rest of the Man U lot I have no strong opinion on. But I bloody hate Ronaldo.

And for that reason I’ll be silently cheering on Barcelona.

[As a quick aside, I hear there are worries of violence in Rome and that a large area has been served with a temporary drinking ban to help prevent this. I hope every single fan going there to watch the game has an awesome time and comes home in one piece. It’s still only a bloody game.]

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Let them go!

Just catching up on the news from the weekend and I see that the police are mounting the usual efforts to prevent thugs and hooligans travelling to the Champions League final in Moscow.

Can I just say – on this one occasion – let the ******** go? Round them up. Give them free tickets. And beer. Lots of beer. Get them on the plane. Wave them off.

And don’t expect them back.

Let’s face it, do you honestly think they won’t end up in some stinking gulag for 30 years if they kick off in Moscow? You know, the kind of punishment they should be getting in this country only we’re too soft? We can’t do the job properly, so let our Russian friends show them how human waste should be treated.

Oh, and if they could lock up Ronaldo for being a smug **** as well, that’d be cool.