Eagle Eye

Cover of "Eagle Eye"
Eagle Eye

Rip the basic premise from Enemy of the State, shove in some lower-rate actors (and a couple of decent names that people have heard of), ramp up the action so nobody notices the gaping plot-holes and completely ludicrous excuse for a plot and you have Eagle Eye.

But, like most eye-candy no-brainers it does have its place. Sometimes you just want to switch off – and you have to if you want to overlook the multitude of problems that Eagle Eye has. As most of the film consists of things blowing up or being destroyed in some other manner, this isn’t a difficult task.

Plot in a nutshell: lead male’s twin brother (air force hot-shot) dies. Surviving twin gets home to find out he’s suddenly very rich, his apartment is full of stuff that points towards him being Bin Laden‘s best friend and the FBI want to have a very frank discussion with him. Obviously this confuses him. On the other side of town, female lead receives a phone call telling her that her son will die in a train crash if she doesn’t do as she’s told and pick up lead male after he’s made an insane escape from custody.

And so it goes on. The best lines in the film come courtesy of Billy Bob Thornton‘s sourpuss FBI agent and Michael Chiklis puts in a decent turn as the Secretary of State. Everyone else just plays it by the numbers which is fair enough – this isn’t exactly Schindler’s List.

Just make sure you don’t at any point sit back and go “but why didn’t…” a then the whole thing will unravel faster than that sweater you got for Christmas off your granny once the cat got hold of it. I would, though, like to know how whenever someone gets shot a dozen times in a film and survives, they always end up with their arm in a sling.

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Q Clearance – Peter Benchley

I only know Benchley from the likes of The Deep and Jaws, so expected a pretty taught and bloody thriller. Instead, Q Clearance is a light-hearted political farce and I thoroughly enjoyed my surprise.

It follows a scriptwriter in the White House who, pretty much by accident, gets noticed by the President… and the Russians. It’s difficult to say too much without revealing some of the plot. It is a little “by numbers” and the ending is a bit too swift, almost rushed, but other than that I found it a great books and very hard to put down.

The writing’s superb with at least a chuckle on most pages. I don’t know if there are any deliberate likenesses to any real-life characters in there, so I could be missing out on some satire.

I’m now not sure if I want to read his better-known works. After zipping through this in a couple of days because I enjoyed the humour I don’t know if I’ll enjoy something more “thriller-y” as much from the same author.

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Phantom Leader by Mark Berent

I picked Phantom Leader up, I think, in Myanmar. It was the only English-language book I could find in the hostel’s bookswap. After sitting down and getting through it, I’m glad I did.

Berent was a pilot in the Vietnam War so he certainly knows what he’s talking about, and it shows in the writing. Here and there, the narrative is put on pause as he details everything about an aircraft, a procedure or a point in history. I just let the cannon sizes and firing rates wash over me, but I’m sure those with more of an interest in the statistics will lap this lot up.

By his own admission at the beginning of the book, he has tinkered with history for the sake of the story too. Many of the major events in the novel happened, but not perhaps in the same order or within the same timescale. That’s the writer’s prerogative – after all, you can’t have the characters twiddling their thumbs because the next major event is six months down the line.

A handful of plots are interwoven, but not unbelievably so. One follows a black POW, another a decorated front line soldier, another a couple of fly-boys and also the situation back in the US in the White House. The overall impression is that Berent was and is fully in support of the troops out there, but highly critical of the administration and rules of engagement the forces were limited by. He certainly doesn’t make the Vietnamese come across as any better or worse than they have been made out to be elsewhere and he pulls no punches criticising either side.

There’s a small romantic interlude with one character that just doesn’t seem to come to anything, but I think there’s a sequel where a few statements made may become clearer. But the main thrust of the novel is the war, the tactics and so forth. There’s plenty fo blood and guts and some excellent action sequences that would look amazing if a film-maker could do them justice. The dialogue’s generally well-written too with only that romantic chapter being a little off-kilter, perhaps just old-fashioned.

I don’t know how heasy his books will be to find, but I’ll keep my peepers peeled for more of his other stuff. For those who like their war books fairly technical and quite bloody, this is a good read.

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The Pope is a fuckwit

Pope Benedict XVI during visit to São Paulo, B...
His parents should have used condoms

OK, Pope Benedict XVI is both an ex-Nazi and a complete and utter ******* idiot. Well, obviously being the head of the Catholic church he’s already short of a few beans, but he’s really just proved it beyond reasonable doubt with his latest spouting of gobshite.

It seems that condoms are not the answer in fight against AIDS. According to the Associated Press, Benedict said “you can’t resolve it with the distribution of condoms.” He said that “on the contrary it increases the problem.”

He’s heading for Africa which is renowned for having one of the worst AIDS problems worldwide. This has not been helped by Catholic missionaries spreading lies like this for so long. Some people have been specifically told by them that using condoms will increase their risk of developing AIDS. Has the Catholic church got some evidence that the scientific community is missing? Or do they just hate black people to the point where they want to exterminate all Africans? Oh, wait… we’re back to Benedict being a member of the Hitler Youth again.

I know someone working in Bamenda, Cameroon. He’s there with a charity helping to promote condom use in a bid to reduce the number of AIDS-infected people there. He’s really working his arse off in a backwater town, living in a house with dodgy electricity and occasionally usable water supply. And along comes some sheltered idiot who lives in a palace who thinks he knows better than someone on the front line. Or several thousand people with medical degrees.

Dear Mr Pope. Please, please, please take your religion and **** off. By all means, shag all the choirboys and puss-ridden whores that you please. After all, as long as you don’t use a condom then you’re fine. Just don’t try and destroy an entire continent through your ignorance and selfishness.

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Review-fest

Brisbane CBD and the Story Bridge, Brisbane QLD.
Brissie

The next few days will be jam-packed with reviews for books and things. The reasons for this are several-fold. First up, I had them all written but forgot to post them. Secondly, I have the time to schedule them for upload right now. And thirdly, I’ll be staying with Belinda and Albert in Brisbane for a while and they’re on dial-up (it still exists!) so I won’t be online for so long while I’m there.

In addition I’d have to use Windows to get online as I can’t get my internal modem to work under Ubuntu. Ick. Another reason to dodge the internet for a few days!

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