Author: Mosh

Storage 24

Sneaking in a quick late night showing after the kids went to be, we were limited to the one option – a new low-budget British horror:

Storage 24

“yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap yap…”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: escaped monster/alien goes on the loose in claustrophobic area with a handful of civilians left to fight it

See it if you like: low budget jumpy horrors with a twist of dark humour

I’ve seen this described as “Attack the Storage”, but it’s a very different film from the recent sci-fi comedy Attack the Block (which I was amazed to see was on TV the other night – so soon!). The cast is much smaller, there’s only one monster (no spoiler, you find that out in about the first 10 minutes) and it’s not got the same level of laugh-out-loud humour.

It’s written by and stars Noel Clarke who I think most will recognise from his stint on Doctor Who. Flicking through his bio, I notice that he’s actually appeared in most of the things he’s written (amongst them Fast Girls which is also currently on release, Kidulthood, Adulthood, 4.3.2.1 and an episode of Torchwood). The plot’s nothing deep and has plenty of influence from older “trapped in an enclosed area while the monster picks them off” films.

Obviously, the trick is to make things a bit different. There’s a decent amount of inter-character backstory that comes out once Charlie (Clarke) and his mate Chris (Colin O’Donoghue) bump into Charlie’s ex Shelley (Antonia Campbell-Hughes) and her mates in a storage lock-up as they divvy up the remainder of their relationship.

Shortly before their arrival, a plane crash has deposited a nasty creature in the area and is also affecting the electrics which drops all the shutters and locks them in. Stage set, let the stalking commence!

Credit to the director, Johannes Roberts, for keeping things tense while still allowing the characters to develop in such a short film. Also, the creature effects – for what is definitely a low-budget effort – are pretty damn good. Roberts ensures that the creature gets plenty of screen time without revealing any zips or strings.

Despite not having the laughter level of Attack the Block (sorry, but it is going to get compared a lot) there are some good guffaws in just the right places to relieve the tension.

Other than this, there isn’t much to tell. It’s short, sharp, enjoyable and has a brilliant twist in the last few seconds which absolutely made the film for me. Don’t go in expecting Hollywood-level effects and you won’t be disappointed. Possibly a cult classic in the making, somewhere along the lines of a more scary Doctor Who episode than an Alien-beater.

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Combichrist + support – The Arches, Glasgow

Combichrist
Combichrist (Photo credit: Iain Purdie)

[More pics located in this Flickr set]

Not a band I’d heard of before a week or so ago, but after checking out some videos on YouTube and a handful of recommendations from friends I decided to take a chance. The Arches is a weirdly-shaped venue, and there were three support acts so I aimed to get there for the doors opening. However, there seemed to be some technical issues so the 7:30 advertised time ended up nearer the 8pm time printed on the ticket (which I’d not seen previously as I was collecting in on entry).

Xavia were due on at 8, but hit the stage maybe a quarter of an hour later. Definitely local judging by the lead singer’s voice (which sounded pretty much along the lines of “like us or I’ll knife you” in its Glaswegian-ness), they managed to get a small pocket of the crowd going with their electro-goth-metal fusion. Not a bad little band, frankly. If I had to pick out a band they reminded me of, I would go for the Sisters of Mercy, though fans of both bands would probably lynch me for saying such a thing.

Next in line were Surgyn –  pair of lads who looked like students dressed in white rubber aprons. The “music” consisted of a MacBook playing backing rhythm while they lampooned around shouting. Sorry, but completely not my thing. Full marks for the “look” and having the balls to get up on that stage, but otherwise they were no better than Boyzone. No musical instruments and lot of jumping about. Pants.

Jayce Lewis was main support, another act I’ve never heard of but judging by the amount of merchandise available I guess he’s more popular than I expected. Not a bad front man, but the music didn’t really hit any nerves for me. A fair bit of the crowd definitely knew his material and enjoyed it well enough. Good, but forgettable.

Combichrist
Combichrist (Photo credit: Iain Purdie)

Finally, running pretty late and eventually over-running the “strict curfew” by a significant amount, Andy LePlegua (a.k.a. Combichrist) took to the stage for what was a pretty non-stop performance. Interaction with the crowd was fairly minimal, but this could have been down to trying to cram all the songs into a shortened set as a result of the delays. Don’t get me wrong, he was hardly charisma-less but there were just no rambling between-song speeches or delays.

From another point of view, it was simply 90 minutes or so of relentless “electronic body music“.

Combichrist’s music seems to vary slightly from material a little closer to Surgyn’s, through to something more akin to Rammstein. What makes the difference is the introduction of real instruments. After a couple of songs, the electronica was joined by a proper drummer on proper drums. Later on, a rather scary-looking guitarist (I **** you not – he could have passed for the masked guy from Scream) added another layer of depth to the sound.

Now, I can’t name a single song, but the one thing that really made the music interesting was that drum kit. I don’t care how great your laptop and synths and all that ***** are, you simply cannot have a thumping soundtrack without proper drums. Bollocks to your “unf, unf” and “tsh, tsh”. They pale into insignificance when put up against a madman with two sticks, some stretched skin and a few metal frisbees to batter the ever-loving crap out of.

This is what separated Combichrist from the other bands of the evening. They were more brutal, harder, faster and overall just more metal. OK, so they’re definitely not a traditional metal act but there was enough in there to keep me interested. Not the sort of thing I’d normally listen to, but definitely a good live act.

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Rock of Ages

By إبن البيطار (Own work) [GFDL (www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0 (www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia CommonsAfter failing to get to see a film during the week (partially courtesy of Cineworld and their decision to only have one showing a day of the 2D versions of films), we managed to find the time at the weekend for a second attempt. Sadly, only the one film as Abe Lincoln is still only on at 13:30 at our local.

Rock of Ages

“I’m a stripper.”
“I’m in a boy band.”
“… You win.”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: Boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy and girl bugger it up, boy and girl sort it out again at the end. With rock.

See it if you like: stage musicals, proper music, guilty pleasures

In honesty, I wasn’t sure what to expect with this one, other than “nothing like any musical you’ve ever seen before” or something, as declared by the trailer. Well, just for the record it is exactly like most musicals based around the music industry you’ve ever seen (one look at the “plot-in-a-nutshell” above will give that away). What it does have going for it is a kick-ass soundtrack, some of which I assume is taken from the stage play on which the film is based.

OK, so I’m biased. I like proper music and this is my primary reason for taking the chance and going to see it. There’s no doubting the supporting cast are strong enough – Tom Cruise as the flaky rock god, Catherine Zeta-Jones as the sexy wife of the mayor who is trying to rid the town of evil rock ‘n’ roll, Alec Baldwin as the club owner, Russell Brand as a prick (OK, not actually but he is).

Our leads are relatively new to the big movie game. Diego Boneta‘s history seems to be in dodgy Spanish-language soaps and a 90210 remake whereas Julianne Hough has worked her way through Disney-style musicals and the remake of Footloose. She also has an incredibly nasal voice which got on my wick from the first song.

Oh, yeah. Songs. This is a musical. Not just a film with some songs thrown in around the plot,  but the type of film where crowds of random people break into dance routines randomly. So more Showgirls (to which is has been compared in some reviews) than School of Rock.

That was jarring, I have to admit. Mentally, I expect that kind of thing on a stage rather than a cinema screen. But once I got over that little brain hurdle, I started to settle in and enjoy it more – mainly as the choice of songs was so good, even if the vocal performances were somewhat lacking at times.

As well as the aforementioned Hough, Cruise should stick to abseiling down stupidly tall buildings. Kudos to him for having a go at expanding his acting range, but he’s taken one step too far outside of his comfort zone here. He’s not awful but he’s not very good either. His performance is superb as Stacee Jaxx, washed-up drunk mentalist rock star – but it’s let down by his singing performance. A shame as that’s kind of key here.

Off to the side, Baldwin and Brand play very well off each other though their little twist in the story is telegraphed very far in advance. Anyone who didn’t see that coming really needs to get out more. I still can’t stand Brand, but he fits in well here as the comedy relief, and annoyingly gets many of the best lines. Oh, and Baldwin can’t sing but at least he had the sense to not even really try.

Is this a great musical? Probably on stage. I loved the couple of times where a pair of songs were intertwined – it worked incredibly well and I can just see this being so much fun in a theatre. That’s missing with a cinema setting, which is a shame. It’s an enjoyable film, but a live cast whooping it up in front of you would be hugely superior. Something like the grossly under-rated Bandslam is far better suited to the big screen.

Is it the best rock-n-roll-based film ever made? Nah. Off the top of my head Detroit Rock City and Airheads knock it for six, both for story and laughs.

Importantly, though, it doesn’t care. It’s not a film that remotely takes itself seriously and this is where it wins. It’s debauched, fun, silly and entertaining with some great songs – and you end up thinking “I could have been a rock star, dammit” by the time the credits roll.

Worth taking a chance on. There’s not much else out at the moment. At least not unless you mind being rail-roaded into paying extra for bloody 3D.

 

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Sacred Reich – King Tut’s Wah Wah Hut, Glasgow

Sacred Reich
Sacred Reich (Photo credit: Iain Purdie)

[Full set of photos in this Flickr set]

Twenty five years since their first release and sixteen years since their last, Sacred Reich last played the UK when a good portion of this crowd were still half-collections of DNA in separate parents who quite possibly hadn’t even met. OK, maybe not quite that long but not far from it. The last time I saw them in the UK (and the last time I’m aware of them being in the UK) was in 1991, opening for Sepultura on the “Arise” tour.

Sacred Reich are one of those bands that “got away”. While the likes of Metallica and Megadeth were riding a huge thrashing wave, SR and many of their other peers didn’t quite shift the units required to take off on those big world tours. A shame, as Phil Rind and company produced some cracking songs a good selection of which battered the eardrums of the congregated this evening.

Their music is quite politically motivated, covering topics such as commercialism, suicide, warmongering, environmental policy and so forth. Oh, and vampires. They also manage to blend some huge, fast riffs and belting choruses with slow, crushing rhythms and opening chords you can bounce and chant “OI!” to.

Sacred Reich
Sacred Reich (Photo credit: Iain Purdie)

I don’t think the band skipped a good song from their (small) catalogue during their 75-minute set.  Opening with “Independent” and moving swiftly on to “Love…Hate” before pausing to greet the crowd, Phil (or “Phul” as he’s referred to in Glaswegian) struggled to be heard over the songs and chants. Even with a microphone and a stack of amps, the small venue gave the crowd almost as much volume as the band between songs.

There were no tracks from 1996’s Heal, and “Free” was the only other track from the next most recent (1993) album, Independent. The remainder of the set was from the band’s earliest – and best – two-and-a-half albums.

“I Don’t Know”, “Death Squad”, “Administrative Decision”, and “Crimes Against Humanity” provided some variety, whilst classic thrash/acoustic mash-up “Who’s To Blame” raised the roof as soon as the intro was played.

The only cover of the night, a great version of Sabbath’s “War Pigs”, came towards the end of the set which was rounded off by “American Way” and the superb “Surf Nicaragua” that had the pit thrashing like a rather pissed-off tiger shark.

It’s great still being able to see bands I rocked to back in the 1990’s coming back, still playing the old favourites. Sacred Reich are fairly unusual in that they’re not supporting a new release. Exodus, Testament, Annihilator…  are managing to find a tour with a new release here or there. Sacred Reich aren’t. I have no idea how they’re funding this excursion but even if it barely leaves them beer money I’m incredibly grateful they had Glasgow on their itinerary.

A classic set from a classic band. Long may they rock!

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Dear @cineworld …

Cineworld
Ah, we used to love you so much…

After a disappointing evening and some wasted time trying to see a film, I want to make some feelings clear with Cineworld that are hard to fit into a tweet. They’re good at replying to them – whoever monitors their Twitter feed does a good job – but too many things are bothering myself and Gillian these days.

First up, we’re heartily sick of 3D films. We don’t want to see them, they’re a rubbish novelty that exists only to rake in money for cinemas showing them. I have it from various sources that the prints for films cost the same for a cinema to obtain regardless of whether it’s a 2D or 3D print. The same projector is used. So why is there a surcharge to watch the film in 3D? As far as I can tell, the only expense lies with the film-maker who’s decided to shell out thousands to turn a perfectly good film into a blurry, dull, migraine-inducing mess.

3D film technology should have been kicked in the head until it started to go cross-eyed and drool, dragged into the forest and left to die slowly of exposure.

It’s not the fact that you have to pay extra, per se. Assuming a film gets a 2D showing you can at least opt to go and watch that instead of being ripped off £1.50 plus extra for the eyewear if you’ve not already got some. Well, you can… sort of.

The 2D versions very much come second fiddle as far as both number of performances and actual performance times are concerned. To whit, the issue we had this evening.

Our preferred cinema is the Cineworld at Parkhead. It’s got free parking right by the door, is easy to get to while avoiding most traffic and the staff are lovely. OK, so it’s a little poky compared to the Renfrew Street behemoth but it’s far more convenient. The parking, right now, is quite important as Gillian’s 8 months pregnant and we have two other kids. Plus, parking in Glasgow before 6pm is bloody expensive.

Thing is, Parkhead only have one showing a day of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. And it’s at 13:30. Therefore, we can’t see it. Conversely, there are four screenings (three on Thursday) of the 3D version. This is incredibly annoying. We’re essentially being told that, despite paying a monthly fee for an Unlimited Card each, we don’t have the freedom to choose which films we want to see.

I mentioned this on Twitter and they recommended going to Renfrew Street who had a showing at 6pm. Initially we thought “nah”, but relented and drove through. After battling through traffic and forking out for parking, we made it to the cinema to find that the 2D showing had sold out.

What a waste of time and money.

And it brings me to my second major point: not being able to pre-book using an Unlimited Card. More than once I’ve been in the queue, listening to someone who’s arrived with their friends or children and can’t get in to see a film. The others had pre-booked online, the Unlimited holder couldn’t and the showing has sold out.

I have “discussed” this over Twitter, as have others, with Cineworld and I can understand their one over-riding concern: people booking tickets online and then not showing up, thus depriving other paying customers of seats. I absolutely agree, this is something that shouldn’t be allowed to happen.

So I suggest the following. Allow Unlimited holders to book online. Give them the same restrictions as are already in place (although this actually varies from cinema to cinema) in that they can’t book another ticket until the showing for the one they’ve reserved is finished. In addition, if they do not collect their ticket, they get a “strike”. Each card-holder gets one free strike per month. The second time they fail to collect a pre-booked ticket in a one-month period, they lose the ability to pre-book for 3 months.

The one strike seems fair. Sometimes things just happen – the bus doesn’t come, the kids start to projectile vomit just as you’re leaving the house, whatever. But it should stop people being frivolous.

Alternatively, if a pre-booked ticket isn’t taken then the card-holder is charged for it at the standard rate, a debit/credit card being required to make the booking but not being charged otherwise.

Surely the technology is pretty much in place to manage this?

I just feel like a second-class customer despite forking out a reasonable sum each month of guaranteed income for Cineworld.

As things stand, Gillian’s likely to cancel her Unlimited card when baby SkullKrusher arrives. I was going to keep mine, but I’m thinking more and more about just cancelling it. I love going to the cinema, especially for big action films. But it’s reaching the point where it’s inconvenient finding a showing that we can guarantee seeing and which isn’t in 3D.

With the advent of the likes of NetFlix etc., we could be paying a lot less just to watch them on the telly at home when it actually suits us – and for less each month. Sure, it’s not the same, but it’s cheaper and less stressful.

Don’t get me wrong. On the whole we like Cineworld, the staff, the experience. We just feel we’re getting a raw deal right now and we’re, frankly, pissed off at the time wasted this evening compounded by the two issues highlighted above.

So there you have my points:

1) Give some respect to those of us who don’t want to watch 3D films.

2) Let Unlimited holders pre-book

3) Find out what’s making that awful stale piss smell in the gents’ loo at Parkhead (and has been for months) and sort it out. Please. It’s minging.

Just thought I’d throw that last one in there while I’m on a roll.

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