I am teh Jedi Master

Lego Star Wars: The Video Game

It’s not often I finish computer games. Lack of patience, lack of spare time and a plain lack of ability to play the things usually count against me somewhat.

So, I opted to concentrate on Lego Star Wars on the PS2. According to the label on the box it’s for anyone aged 3+ which is about right for me. My tactic worked. After I don’t know how many hours hammering at the control pad I finally collected the last canister and worked my way through the bonus level.

Whoop! OK, it’s silly and not too difficult, but the humour and the gameplay were worth the whole fiver I spent on it. I’ll be in town tomorrow looking to see if I can get the original trilogy version (Lego Star Wars II), or even better Lego Indiana Jones for a handful of quids. Lego Batman also appeals, but it’s still full price right now. I’ll wait a year and get it in the bargain buckets.

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Ben There, Dan That!

Ben There, Dan That!

Strange title, but it’s about a strange game. I found it via a link from some random blog I get RSS feed from and – if you have a PC – it’s a very worthwhile download.

Ben There, Dan That! is from Zombie Cow Studios, which seems to be a two-man band. Sadly, the days where people like the Darling Brothers (Codemasters) did this and became millionaires are long gone, which is a pity as I had a great time playing this game and the guys who worked on it deserve some kind of reward. And incentive to do more.

It’s an old-fashioned, point/click/examine/talk to/combine objects adventure. The graphics are rough and cartoonish and just work in a quirky way. Best feature by far is the dialogue. When you play, examine everything. Try to use everything. Talk to everyone. Go through every line. I honestly laughed out loud on several occasions. If you enjoyed the likes of Sam & Max, Day of the Tentacle, or if the name Guybrush Threepwood means anything to you – get this game.

I certainly wouldn’t say it’s very hard – I finished it in a few sessions with no help – but it’s hugely entertaining and will work on even the lowest-spec PC. Ideal for my crumbly laptop. Also, there’s no real “installation” as such. It just kind of sits there. And – best of all – there’s no fee. It’s free.

However, if you do enjoy it, please consider dropping Ben a quid or so. I think they’ve made about £150 from the game so far, which is nice. But they’ve had 3500 downloads. At a quid a pop it’s nothing from each game player, but a real incentive for more great stuff from the Zombie Cow crew!

Ben, thanks for your time and that of everyone else. Best of luck with whatever’s coming next.

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Whip out your Wii-nis

Blame Chris for this one – he sent me it. It’s a game for the Wii called Super Pii Pii Brothers. It’s Japanese and as weird as you’d expect from the country that gave us Akira, tentacle rape and shit-fetishism.

Have a check of the video below. Essentially, the aim is to strap your Wii-mote to your groin with the included harness and then… well… piss into a toilet. You get bonus points for urinating on pussies (there’s that Japanese influence again). There’s even a two-player option where you can (probably) cross the streams to defeet Zuul or something.

What worries me is that I find the image of a slightly chubby American woman waving a strapped-on console remote somehow… horny.

I need help.

Oh, and if you live in the US then ThinkGeek will even sell you a copy.

Things to do in the office when you’re bored

Not that I am, of course, as I’ve got so much to do. Anyway, I know you mere mortals have a lot of spare time, so have a play with the following:

Googlefight is a nice little distraction. Put two terms in and the little doofer finds out how many times they appear in a Google search. I can tell you that "man" beats "woman", "penis" beats "vagina" and "cock" beats "cunt". So either men are just simply superior or we talk about ourselves more on the internet than women do.

Candystand.com has a few fun games, including the pretty impressive Line Golfer.

I posted a link to one of the games on this site a while ago, but Gamershood is worth scouring for a few hours as well.

Finally, some guys at MIT have come up with a way of mapping the English language using Google Image Search. OK, it’s silly but pretty cool.

Want to be a spook?

Yes, MI6 are recruiting and you can have a shot at one of their recruitment quizzes. All very fun… and probably fewer hours for more pay than I’m on at the moment!

When you get bored of that, try smacking a bike rider with a baseball bat for some light relief.

And *phew* it’s not quite been a month since I posted. I’ve been spending a lot of time transferring the Tour Blog over onto WordPress. This one is next!