iOS updates vs Android updates

Image representing Apple as depicted in CrunchBase
Image via CrunchBase

Updating iOS

Get excited that new version is coming out on set date

Jump on download the moment it comes out

Wait 6 hours for download to arrive while your eyes dry out and crust over

Re-download when download fails at 99%

Wait for reboot

Keep waiting for reboot

Try hard reset

Pack phone in box and go to Apple Store

Come back with working phone and extra goods you were up-sold while you were at Apple Store

Hate new version of iOS

See new iOS release date


Image representing Google as depicted in Crunc...
Image via CrunchBase

Updating Android

See new version being touted

Wonder when they’ll give a release date

Several months later, get release date

Wonder when they’ll release it for your actual handset

Find out your manufacturer/vendor isn’t going to release it for your handset

Find out that they’ve given in to backlash and will release it

Wonder when they’ll give a release date

Keep checking for release date

Give up

Find out that they released it a month ago without making an announcement

Download update

Install update

Reboot handset

Enjoy new version, except for the functions they had to miss out because your handset can’t run them


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Household japes #238

English: Disposable diaper, size 12-25kg/26-55lb.
Like this, but… browner (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Take a fully-loaded disposable nappy from a well-fed baby. Wrap it around itself and seal with the little velcro bits.

If you’re feeling slightly less of a risk-taker, place it in a small plastic bag and tie this shut.

Locate yourself round the corner from your other half.

When they are unsuspecting, launch the package into their vicinity with a shout of “GRENADE!!!”

Take cover.

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Your Daily Mail Horoscope

Daily 'hate' Mail parody 02
Hate-filled rag (Photo credit: Byzantine_K)

Aries: Today you will feel angst that someone on benefits is getting more money than you, despite the fact that you deserve it and they don’t. Also, news will reach you that someone not even born in this country is claiming money from the government that comes from your taxes. This will make your blood boil. In health, there will be a revelation that something you eat, drink, wear, breathe or do is now a cancer risk.

Libra: see Aries.

Gemini: see Aries.

Sagittarius: see Aries.

Pisces: see Aries.

Taurus: see Aries.

Cancer: see Aries.

Leo: see Aries.

Virgo: see Aries.

Scorpio: see Aries.

Capricorn: see Aries.

Aquarius: see Aries.

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Careful what you say…

swearing in cartoon Suomi: Kiroileva sarjakuva...
Asterix would be proud (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We had a little household incident the other day which some may find amusing.

A couple of years ago, I used to take great delight in asking Little Mister what a big boat was called. His mispronunciation of the word “ship” was, to my childish sense of humour, the best thing ever. Especially when I asked him to say it louder as I hadn’t heard. And louder. And louder.

While in the check-out queue at Asda.

This time we has a slightly more private and accidental experience. Words have been changed to make things a little more family friendly. I shall leave it to the reader to translate into “gutter”. I’ve also slightly changed the names, but if you can’t guess who the people are then I recommend you begin your education again with Topsy and Tim just to keep things nice and simple for you.

Mummy Hen (that’s one of the characters I’ve renamed, by the way) was making dinner the other night. Unfortunately, she burnt her hand on one of the oven trays and let out a fairly sincere “Cluck!” (sort of).

Seconds later, a small song was heard from the dining room. Little Mister Hen was singing – to the “Go Compare” tune – “Clucking Bell! Clucking Bell!”

Over. And over. And over.

It’s very hard to tell a child small chicken off when you’re laughing so hard, especially when they don’t know they’ve done anything wrong

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