Category: News

Hart-broken

Mourning Morph
Mourning Morph

I wonder how many puns there will be today? As I was in the car on the way up from Edinburgh Airport to home, I heard on the radio that Tony Hart had passed away. I must be getting old, as the TV stars of my youth have begin to pop their clogs.

I never got any of my pictures on Take Hart, but I do remember it. And the mess I ended up making with all kinds of art supplies as a result. And cornflake packets. And bits of glitter. And glue. One that springs to mind was “painting” photographs using kitchen roll and water. You spread the roll out over your soon-to-be work of art, then “painted” using just water, which made the paper transparent and the image show through.

A daft memory from when I was maybe eight years old. But the fact is, I remember it.

Now, I’ve never gone on to do anything arty but I enjoyed myself when I was little and a part of that was from messing round and kidding myself that I could draw and paint. A huge amount of this came from Take Hart, which was his program when I was a nipper.

Great guy, great program. It’s always a shame to loose a great entertainer, and even moreso when they’re someone who inspires children so well.

I love the picture at the top. I nabbed it from b3ta.com and I don’t know who PhotoShopped it, but it’s very apt. No Take Hart = No Morph… which would likely have meant no Wallace & Gromit either!

Oh, and a small trivia fact in the radio story yesterday: Tony Hart designed the original Blue Peter logo.

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Another racist royal?

Bad language
Bad language

Well, with all the tabloids going apeshit about Prince Harry this morning, you have to start wondering if he’s taking after his grandad. Prince Philip is well known for his “faux pas”. Or more realistically, his blatant outpourings of humorous, yet insulting, gobshite.

The thing is, are Harry’s comments that bad? Or is this just more tabloid ****-stirring? Start with the fact that Harry’s not been in the news for a while. Most recently it was about how good he’s been and his serving in Afghanistan and the like. This video was filmed three years ago when he was fairly raw and in the army.

There’s another point. He was a squaddie. Members of the armed forces are well-known for being somewhat abrasive with their use of his grandmother’s English. And the fact is the video was a “home video” – in so far as that term still exists with the likes of YouTube and a million cheap Saturday night TV shows prepared to broadcast your every cockup to the slavering masses. I’m sure had he been near TV cameras he’d have shown more restraint.

But the big issue with myself is – did he mean it in an abusive manner? I’ve been brought up with my grandmother calling the local corner shop, “the Paki‘s”. She doesn’t dislike people of any ethnic minority to the best of my knowledge and always had the best relationship with the guy who ran the place. Face it, if she hadn’t she’d have gone elsewhere.

The thing is, it’s not necessarily a derogatory term. Sure, an Indian or a Bangladeshi isn’t going to like it. It’s like calling a Scot “Irish” because they’re white and have an accent. It’s down to how people perceive being called it.

It reminds me of a conversation I had in Israel a while back. I thought I’d blogged about this, but I can’t find such a post so I guess now. I was in a hostel in Jerusalem and at some point in the discussion, used the term “half-caste” to describe someone.

An American girl who up until this point had seemed quite reasonable, just went apeshit. “You can’t use that word! You racist” and so forth. I felt genuinely puzzled. I’ve been using the word since I was a kid and with no ill-meaning or repurcussion before.

A very dear friend of mine is from Sri Lanka, though grew up in Newcastle. We went to school together and we’ve shared holidays (we also went through a phase at school where I’d call him “nigger” and he’d call me “honky bastard” – never any ill will meant). He’s pretty dark-skinned and is married to a delightful Welsh woman with red hair and the whitest skin you’ve ever seen.

Their children are beautiful. At the time I was in Jerusalem, they only had the one daughter and I emailed it. I asked how he felt about the word “half-caste”. Was it offensive? Had I missed a bulletin somewhere telling me I was no longer allowed to use it? Apparently not, it seems, as he confessed that when their daughter wasn’t listening they’d refer to her as their “little halfie”.

So why did the American girl jump down my throat when I used the word? Perceptions differ, and if a guy in the army is going to get suicidal about being referred to as a “Paki” then he’s got no place there. The good thing is that the person in question certainly didn’t seem to have an issue with it.

Which brings me to the final point. If the person who the term was aimed at didn’t give a **** – then what harm is done and why the **** do the tabloids care?

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Aston Martins?

Nigerian footballer :en:Obafemi Martins
Martins - not in a car, yesterday

So Obafemi Martins got nicked for speeding a while ago. The case went through court today and he was landed with a £950 fine (including costs) for doing 106mph in a 70mph zone.

Fair enough. The law does state that you can lose your license for going over 100mph. In this case he didn’t. The judge cited his otherwise unblemished license (now with 6 points) and guilty plea – no trying to wriggle out of it.

Now, of course, the road safety ******* are on their high horses demanding his scalp. He’s giving a bad example and proving there’s no deterrent. Apparently.

Hang on – 6 points and almost a grand in fines and costs? OK, to Martins that kind of money’s like what having to cough up three Mars Bars and a half-litre bottle of Coke. But the fact remains that if Joe Q Public get caught in the exact same situation he can expect the same treatment. And to you or I, £1000 isn’t something to take lightly.

Martins’ attitude around the case – admitting guilt and so on – was a good example. He’s taken his punishment and I’d honestly be surprised if he got caught again. He knows another 6 points will mean an automatic ban. In fairness I’m surprised they didn’t give him 9 points so that one more offense would tip him over. That’s my only criticism.

It still makes my blood boil when people go on about speed being a killer. If that’s the case, how come sections of Autobahn in Germany have no limit and yet their accident/fatality rate is lower than similar roads in the UK? Speed, I admit, is going to cause an increased likelihood of death should their be an accident. But poor driving is more likely to cause an actual incident than going fast.
There’s a difference between going “fast” and going “too fast”. I can’t state the situation for Martins. Had he been doing 106mph through a housing estate then I can see his license being ripped out of his hand. But on a straight, long dual-carriage bypass (which I believe the A696 is) then as long as he’s obviously in control, maintains lane discipline and doesn’t sit three inches from the car in front then he’s driving sensibly.
There are more serious things to worry about that someone driving too fast in a straight line.”Safety” campaigners, please just get a life.
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Will it be missed?

Trinity Square and Tesco

It’s bloody ugly. It was in Get Carter. And it’s finally closed, pending demolition.

The Trinity Square car park in Gateshead is finally going to be demolished to make way for a new supermarket and hotel. I remember my parents parking there when I was a kid before we went to Tesco and Shopping City.

This huge, concrete monstrosity has stood as an eyesore for thirty years and finally it’s going. 96% of residents in the area said they wanted rid of it. I was amongst them (though not surveyed).

Trinity Centre Car Park, Gateshead, July 2007....

Until now. Now it’s at the point where it’s actually going to go I’m thinking, “hang on”. It’s ugly, but it’s been there almost as long as I’ve been alive. I remember it from before I was 10 years old. One of the most iconic films in modern cinema history had a superb sequence shot there. So what if it’s an eyesore?

Thankfully, common sense then takes hold again and I realise the skyline will be better off without it. Memories are good. And there are photos. I only hope the hotel they build looks nice. In comparison, anyway.

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First ridiculous new law of the year

German Prostitute

And the prize for the first stupid bit of legislation to come into law in 2009 goes to… Norway. As of today, any Norwegian citizen caught paying for sex faces a jail sentence starting at 6 months and rising to 3 years if it’s child prostitution.

It’s not limited to the “purchase” of sex within Norway either. Police have been granted the power to use wire taps to gather evidence against anyone they think could have used a prostitute anywhere. The number of prostitutes in known areas of Norway have visibly fallen already, which is no surprise.

However, the government’s statement that they’re targeting the “customer” not the prostitute rings rather hollow. Of course, prostitutes can’t be locked up under this law but their livelihood is being taken away. Isn’t that targetting them? Oh, and the little “bleeding heart” statement that drug and alcohol dependency issues of prostitutes can be helped if they go to free clinics is pointless.

Let’s face it. If someone’s become a prostitute because they’re addicted to crack, what course of action are they going to take now that they can’t get money from sex? Will they walk up to a clinic and ask for help? I seriously doubt it. They’ll either drop dead because they can’t get a fix, get abused by the people they can no longer pay off, or find another way to satisfy the craving – such as mugging, theft and so on.

In the meantime, by trying to reduce sex tourism the Norwegian government have unwittingly opened their own borders to a world of people who now know that prostitutes in Oslo will now be forced to charge discount rates. And as the law only applies to Norwegian citizens, any person from a company without similar ludicrous laws can hop over the border safe in the knowledge that they can’t be arrested for banging some hot (drug-addled, lice-ridden) Norwegian whore.

Oh, and the maximum 3-year penalty for using child prostitutes is far too lenient. By all means target the paedos, but do it properly and leave the consenting adults out of it. Why can’t more countries go down the Dutch or Kiwi routes of recognising and regulating prostitution as a valid industry? Taxable, monitorable, and relatively easy to make safe for all those involved.

Before anyone asks – nope. Using a prostitute is still one of the (few) boxes I can’t tick on a purity test. I’ve been to places where I could easily have bought myself 20 minutes for a fistful of Euros (Frankfurt‘s got some pretty attractive South American and Eastern European girls available), but it just doesn’t appeal. I just think that if a consenting adult wants to sell themselves and someone else wants to pay for the service then the only duty a government has is to ensure that both parties are safe, healthy and that tax revenue is raised from it.

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