regular-ish news whinge

Well, what can I let off steam about in today’s news? In no particular order:

Some ******’s come up with the idea of school-leavers being asked to give an oath of allegiance to the queen. What a repulsive idea. Allegiance to the country I do agree with, but not the bloody royal family.

What strikes me as cheapening an already cheap idea is to proffer some kind of reward to those who volunteer (council tax discounts or student loan payments).

One suggestion I do like is the idea of offering immigrants a bursary towards English lessons. Ideally this should be a voucher scheme, or a grant towards establishments to offer these courses. And a mandatory test after 12 months (not a complex one, but just one to prove they’re progressing) otherwise kick them out. This is far more important than some pointless chant with a raised hand.

Also part of this raft of "ideas" includes the half-formed thought od updating the national anthem to remove verses not often used. What’s the point in that? If we don’t use them, we don’t use them. Whether they’re there or not makes no odds.

What the national anthem needs is changing. I’m sure I’ve ranted about this previously, but England needs an anthem of its own – the other three nations have theirs while for some reason we’re stuck with the generic British one, which further decreases our sense of national identity. I vote for Land of Hope and Glory. The UK should change the dull dirge we have now to the significantly more rousing Rule Britannia.

I wonder how much the moron who dreamed this lot up got paid?

Not exactly news, but always worth reiterating is the fact that the BNP are a bunch of ***** (and not the nice type). This time, their crime is not so much using a photograph that they (possibly correctly) claim is public domain, but the way they’ve used it. Their new leaflet seems to be endorsed by the family of a girl who died of a heroin overdose.

Within this heap of racist **** they try not to call &quo;propaganda" they also try to make out that drug abuse is a Muslim problem. No wonder so much of the world hates white people. Between ******* like these and the American government, we’ve so far painted every Muslim as a potential junkie who wants to strap explosives to his chest and fly a plane into a tower block.

Always up for a giggle is the Catholic church. I’ve been beaten to my views on this story by a lot of the comments on it, but at least it means I’m not alone in my amazement at their stupidity. They’ve announced some modern-day updates to the commandments / sins which they obviously haven’t researched too well.

First up, being excessively rich will stop you being allowed through the Pearly Gates. Interesting given the wealth coveted by their little organisation. Oh, hang on. Isn’t covetousness also a sin? Strike two.

Conspicuous by its absence is buggering choirboys, which is obviously still acceptable. A good job, or despite a lifetime in the cloth, hardly any of their priests would make it past Beelzebub’s pitchfork.

And finally, to sport. I’m just happy to see the teams which have made it through to the FA Cup semi-finals this year. One Premiership club (and not a so-called "top four" one at that, therefore guaranteeing a lower-league club a place in the final and a chance at European football next year.

A huge congratulations to Barnsley, West Brom, Cardiff and Portsmouth. For the first time in years there’s no foregone conclusions on the result. Some of the best "cupsets", and all on the same weekend as well. Brilliant.

Well, it’s Saturday

So sticking to the football theme, I do know that we’re going to get our gonads handed to us on a platter (or a stolen hubcap) at Liverpool, but all the same a short message to ManUre fans everywhere (except for Manchester for obvious reasons):

haha. Hahaaha. *chuckle* Hee hee hee. HAhAHAHAHAAHAH!!!!

Calm down, Roy

It seems Roy Keane is getting paranoid and saying that referees are deliberately making decisions against Sunderland this season.

That’s because you’re a bunch of fatherless ******* run by one of the biggest ***** in football.

**** off, Roy. There’s a good chap. Go and buy that girl from the Guardian a pint so she’ll suck your cock again.

Blatter speaks sense!

That’s unusual enough to deserve the headline all on its own, but this is – surprise – in relation to the current idea being kicked about by the Premier League to play some matches abroad. Blatter, head of FIFA, has pretty much told them to stop being so ******* stupid.

“Even if the FA did sanction it, all the national associations receiving these clubs would have to sanction it also. This will be very difficult.

“In addition to that, the Fifa executive committee will apply article two of the Fifa statutes: ‘to prevent all methods or practices which might jeopardise the integrity of matches or competitions or give rise to abuse of association football’.

“This is abuse. The rich Premier League is trying to get richer and wants to expand the importance of that league.”

“This does not take into consideration the fans of the clubs and it gives the impression that they just want to go on tour to make some money,” Blatter said.

“This will never happen, at least as long as I am the president of Fifa.”

So hats off to the man who effectively kicked Cameroon out of the last World Cup because their shirts were too tight. And who, weeks later, announced that women’s football would be so much better if their shirts were tighter. For once he’s shown some common sense.

NO TO GAM£ 39

As I ranted the other day, the Premier League are planning a ridiculous 39th game a season played abroad. There is an online petition against this, which might be worth signing. Who knows if the clubs will care one way or the other seeing as they’re only looking at their wallets, but it doesn’t hurt to fill it in.

An email is sent to each Premiership club for every person who signs up. I notice that Liverpool and Spurs even have email addresses dedicated to mails received about this ludicrous idea. Taking it seriously, or just sorting their spam out?