Category: Sport

This Gerrard thing

LIVERPOOL, UNITED KINGDOM - JULY 24: Liverpoo...

Anyone following the news in the UK, particularly the football side of things, will know that Steven Gerrard was arrested and then charged with assault over the last couple of days.Fine and dandy, this kind of thing happens. I don’t know the full story and I doubt anyone who wasn’t there does either.

However, Liverpool FC‘s statement that they’ll give him all the support he needs as he’s been good to them for 10 years does stick in the throat a little. If he’s guilty of beating crap out of someone for no other reason than he was drunk then why should he be treated any more differently than the likes of Joey Barton? OK, Barton’s a serial ****** with a history whereas Gerrard’s generally not in the papers for anything off the football field. But assault is assault.

Given the fact he’s been charged, I’d assume a plea of self defence has been written off which means he did cause one man to go to hospital with facial injuries. Many employers up and down the land -particularly those in the public eye – would be looking at a similar situation and thinking about how they could terminate his contract.

The world of football is different, however, as so much is invested in the individual. Is this fair? Sure they have to protect their investment but why should one person get away with damaging another just because – in essence – he’s rich?

Of course, even if he’s found guilty I expect nothing more than a slap on the wrist, perhaps a fine and maybe a community service order. There’s no way he’ll serve jail time. If Joey Barton can get away with all bar one of his efforts to cripple someone and Lee Bowyer can stamp on an Asian kid and walk free them Saint Gerrard is hardly going to do time.

Our justice system and class system really combine well to screw the common man over. I always thought everyone was meant to be equal in the eyes of the law, but I guess that’s just not the case if you have a ton of cash behind you.

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Hammered by Scousers

Liverpool emblem

No refereeing complaints on this one. Mark Halsey had a good game and kept the match flowing as well as he could. It’s just that we were crap and Liverpool were on fire.

My man of the match? Shay Given. His opening 30 minutes showcased some of the best keeping I’ve seen all season. I think (and sincerely hope) he’ll stay rather than wandering off to a better-playing and more successful club. Part of me wouldn’t blame the guy but we’d struggle to replace him.

If there’s an upside then it’s that we’ve helped Liverpool’s goal difference and nudged them back above Chelsea. I’d rather see them take the title than the rich London lot again. I won’t sour things by mentioning Steven Gerrard being arrested for assault in the early hours of this morning *cough*

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Mike Dean, you’re a ******

Wigan Athletic crest

I’ve no idea if I’ve railed about Mike Dean before, but he’s this week’s ***** Referee. Along with Wigan Athletic cheating (Heskey in particular – diving bastard), Dean seemed to have made his mind up at kickoff that Newcastle United wouldn’t be walking off with any points in yesterday’s game.

I listened to a bit of the game, followed as much as I could on the BBC live text and watched the highlighs on Match of the Day. Heskey should have won a free kick way outside the box, near the halfway line. The linesman Was going apoplectic waving his flag and the referee ignored it. Until Heskey tumbled in the box while there was no contact.

Sure, had he gone down under a challenge then I’d have been forced to accept they deserved a penalty. And with the “last man” rule then Bassong would have had to go. Thing is, at the point Heskey went down there was no contact. Which makes him a cheat and the referee a fool.

Cattermole’s challenge on Beye wasn’t great, but neither was it malicious. Still, no use to Habib who’s now missing a few games.

And then the yellow card to Andy Carroll for diving. Which seems a bit harsh given that he had a Wigan player’s knee in his spine at the time he went down. The referee had a clear view and rather than give us the chance to level the score (and make up for missing a blatant Wigan handball two minutes earlier) he brandished his yellow at entirely the wrong player.

So stand up, Mr Dean, and accept your award for ***** Referee of the Week. Feel free to take the trophy down to the pawn shop and get some cash to put towards some ******* glasses. You ******.

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Alcopoop

Some typical alcoholic beverages.

I would like to introduce a new word into the English language (assuming I’ve not already been beaten to it):

Alcopoop (noun) – the thick, turgid yet also somehow sloppy and always sweet-smelling **** that you have to force out of an arsehole that seems too small the morning after an excessive intake of alcoholic beverages.

Yeah, I had a good night. Much alcohol was downed and I even had a birthday “dinner” at the hotel. All the staff signed a card for me (that I’ve lost – it’s in the hotel somewhere), sang “Happy Birthday” to me and then we went out and got trolleyed at Bar’Dup.

I’m not that bad, surprisingly. But my credit card is still in the pub. And has been since Friday.

Great present, though – a 3-0 away win at Portsmouth. A goal from birthday boy Michael Owen, and it turned out that a guy I was sat with in the pub also had his birthday yesterday. As did his flatmate! We got free Jagermeister shots from the bar.

I generally don’t “do” birthdays, but I had a cracker this year in part mainly to hanging out with a great bunch of people. Thanks to them all!

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Let’s All Laugh At Sunderland

Roy Keane v Alf-Inge Haaland

A fair bit of this post is ripped from my comment on For Girls Who Can’t Do Football, which is worth a read. The original post dared to compare him to Keegan in that he’s walked out on us a couple of times. Cue rant:

Laughing at the mackems is easy, but doubly so when it also gives one the chance to take the piss out of Roy “cheating thug” Keane.

Frankly I loved the way Keane walked out on his national squad a few years ago… a squad which then got further through the World Cup than at any other competition in living memory. And not just without him, but a man short as he’d gone in his little pathetic sulk too late for them to replace him.

As for walking out on the team, let’s face it – he was either going to get sacked or be asked to leave by his little bum-chum in the boardroom anyway. There’s no comparison with Keegan. At what point did Keane ever have the mackem filth top of the table? In the Champion’s League? Beating ManUre 5-0?

Keegan is a good manager, though I admit not the best in the world. The two times he’s left Newcastle it’s been because of issues with the board, funding and so on – not because the team was in the crap.

Obviously, given that he hasn’t got a clue and seems to manage purely by shouting at people I’m sad to see him go – as the filth will likely only have an improvement in their next manager and that’s the last thing I want.

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