Saturday wafflings

Bugger

I just realised I left all the stuff I’d written on Friday on my laptop. Which is locked in a secure cabinet at work. Apologies in advance for the fact that everything on Monday will now likely seem out of date.

Confused Icelander

As well as managing to convince herself that she can sing (how? She’s ******* awful), short-arsed pop-annoyance Björk has also redesigned the animal kingdom. On an interview on 5-Live this morning she was asked about her sporting history at school. She admitted to doing swimming, but wasn’t very quick. More the relaxed paddler than the competition sprinter. Or in her words:

"I’m more of a turtle than a rabbit"

OK, Aesop’s Fables apart has anyone actually tried dropping a rabbit and a turtle into the sea? I’m prepared to bet that the rabbit can’t actually keep pace with the turtle, unless it’s downwards. Of course, likening this to tying bricks to Björk and dropping her off a boat isn’t that bad a way to start the day.

Good Frisking riddance

Anders Frisk, self-styled prima-donna masquerading as a very poor football referee, has retired with immediate effect after threats to him and his family. This followed the recent Barca / Chelsea game where – as usual – he was ******* *****.

It also follows the AS Roma (cheating, diving, Italian *******) v Dynamo Kiev match where he was hit on the head with something and abandoned the game rather than let the 4th official take over. He claimed they couldn’t guarantee the safety of the officials, unable to figure out it was just him that everyone ******* hates, the ****. Think about it – there are another three officials within much easier range than a referee and they weren’t pelted.

Then there was "that" game where he rule dout an England goal in the dying seconds of extra time.

Add to that the fact that he’s basically just a ******* drag queen who wants to be the centre of attention and he’s best off retiring behind the counter of a make-up shop. I do not, however, condone threats to his family. It’s not their fault he’s such a ****.

Finally…

Another letter from WAGN this morning saying all the train cockups weren’t their fault. The blame is with Network Rail who’ve said that it’s all their fault but they can’t explain why.

I don’t care. I got £15 in vouchers, just in time to buy aonther 2 tickets I have booked. About bloody time.

The reverend

Jesse Jackson’s on tour at the moment, and I heard him on 5-Live this morning. This is a guy I have a lot of respect for. He’s not one of these loud-mouthed black militant "stand up and fight" people – he’s a "stand up and vote" person. Much more constructive.

He did, however, seem to make a slight slip. Regarding the Michael Jackson trial he complained that MJ is supposed to be judged by a jury of his peers, but there are no blacks on the jury. So? Since when was MJ black? He’s been white for well over a decade.

Besides. you try and find 12 "good men and true" who are also mentally 12 years old, multi-millionaires, mad as a bag of rabid badgers and closet kiddy-fiddlers.

Allegedly.

Dixons reply

I had a phone call today from the manager at the Dixons garage that screwed me around on Sunday (see earlier post). Have you ever heard a manager squirm? It’s a very satisfying sound.

They’ve offered to bring a car out to me for a test drive, give me a "special deal", ensure there’s definitely someone there is I want to come in… Of course, deals don’t mean jack to me as it’ll be a company car and I’m getting it through a lease firm. I’m not telling them that, though. If I do then all of a sudden they just won’t care any more!

I might string them along for a bit. Or I might just check out a dealership outside Bradford instead. On the other hand, this might be enough leverage to get me a decent length test drive of a diesel rather than 15 minutes in a petrol, which is hardly going to help anyway.

No sign or mention of a cheque for £30 though. The tight gits.

Charity apologies

The HTML to get the right hand column working has turned out to be a little more complex than I thought (i.e. I’m too thick to suss it right now).

As an interim, please check the following links: