Ryanair are thieving *****

Safety CardImage by Ultrastar175g via FlickrOK, so it’s not a huge revelation but Ryanair are, indeed greedy thieving ********. Sneaky, conniving, slippery *****. And that’s just a few of the words I’d use to describe them. Any way they can fiddle you out of more cash, they’ll do it.

I’m booking tickets for some friends for the Graspop trip in June. Three people return from Stansted, one person (me) one-way from Eindhoven to Stansted. All nice and simple. Obviously, there will be credit card fees involved, so I want to book as many flights at once to reduce the fees involved.

OK, so I can’t book three out, 4 in with one transaction. It’s 3 out on one booking, 4 back on another. Or 3 return and then a separate booking for the guy going one-way. Either way, two credit card fees.

Wrong.

Either way it’s SEVEN credit card fees. Ryanair have gone all original and charge per person, per flight segment. So if I were paying on Visa, I could expect a whopping £21 in credit card charges. Frankly – ******* ludicrous. Even using a debit card, it’s £7.

More sneakiness. If you’re booking a flight from Europe to the UK, there is no choice on currency. You pay in Euros. And the flights are rounded to nice, convenient amounts – which are higher than the cost of the flight when booked as part of a return. Example – sterling price for Eindhoven to Stansted is £9.99. Booking it as a single is €14.40. At the current exchange rate this is £11.61. It doesn’t stop there as all the booking fees, card fees, baggage fees, taxes and so on are also lifted. The resultant flight is around a tenner dearer than it would be in Pounds. not to forget that most credit cards / banks charge a fee for dealing in non-sterling.

Add to that their 15kg checked luggage limit – 5kg below that of most other airlines. A 10kg carry-on limit – 2kg below that of others. A baggage check-in fee of £6 for the first bag and £12 for the next. Which necessitates that you check in at the airport… a further £3. Surely if you’re going to check one bag in and therefore have to check in at the airport (as opposed to the free online alternative), they may as well charge you £9 for the bag and include the fee? Ah, but then they’d not be able to claim their baggage fees were low…

Also note that every money-making option is selected on the web page unless you turn it off. As if anyone really wants to pay an extra £6 to be one of the first onto the plane. And insurance is selected by default.

I still loathe their advertising. My flight – according to their advertising – was £9.99. It actually cost me nearer £45. And if you want to complain (or check up on a booking you’re not sure has gone through because their website crashed)? 10p/min in the UK (34c/min in France).

I’m currently stuck as I’ve received no confirmation details for the 6 flights I booked for my friends. Have they been booked? I don’t know. I didn’t get an email confirming the details of the flight I do know went through, so the lack of mail for the other one is no indication at all.

Ryanair – the shittest airline on the planet, budget or not. British Airways may be able to decimate an entire airport terminal in 8 hours, but Ryanair are simply just ****. And greedy. Greedy and ****. And sneaky.