Tag: Ryanair

Ryanair talk fecking bollocks again

Ryanair
Lyingair - talking crap once again

I pinged this on Twitter and facebook, but it really deserves a proper little rant on here. Ryanair (Lyingair has never been a more apt pseudonym) have popped a story on their news page. Go have a read – it’s laughable:

DUBLIN AIRPORT TO BE RENAMED ‘THE JEDWARD’

There are several things wrong with this story. First up is the mis-spelling of “pipped”, but I’ll let that slip although it does enforce Lyingair’s overall slipshod impression.

The main thing is that the story is factually incorrect. Hell, it’s bollocks. Dublin airport is not to be renamed “Jedward Airport”. Just because Ryanair pushed it as their little comedy entry does not mean it’s going to happen. Of course, expect a lot of whinging from Michael O’Leary when it doesn’t happen.

I also find it profoundly ironic that the names for the airport were all picked for reasons along the lines of “prices go up faster than Jedward’s hair”. This from an airline that sells tickets for a penny. Plus checking-in fee. Plus luggage fee. Plus booking fee. Plus tax. Plus the cost of getting to the remote airport that’s nowhere near the advertised destination.

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Ryanair “puerile” according to OFT

2008/08/27 Ryanair Boeing 737-8AS EI-DCD
Not that cheap, definitely not cheerful

I don’t comment on new stories too often any more, but it’s nice to see Ryanair getting a hoofing now and again. A lovely report from the BBC about the Office of Fare Trading branding Ryanair’s charging of credit card transactions “puerile and childish”.

The most interesting points of note:

  • Ryanair are charging for card processing by having one free option – this is the law, but a loophole that must be closed
  • It costs Ryanair approximately 30p for each debit card transaction. They charge you £5. Per leg of flight. Per passenger
  • Their spokesman claims that “Ryanair is not for the overpaid John Fingletons on this world but for the everyday Joe Bloggs”. Yet they heap charges on these everyday Joe Bloggs’ and expect then to cough up
  • Also “passengers prefer Ryanair’s model as it allows them to avoid costs, such as baggage charges, which are still included in the high fares of high cost, fuel surcharging, strike-threatened airlines such as BA.” Which is cobblers – name me anyone who likes buying a £5 flight then finding out it’s going to cost them £40 with fees, luggage, check-in and a cab ride as it lands 85 miles from the city advertised after all the buses have stopped.

What is the point in advertising “low cost flights” when people are now figuring out that, while the flights are indeed low-cost, all the “optional extras” such as checking in (erm… can you fly without checking in?), hold baggage, going to the toilet (is this actioned yet?), cabin baggage (soon, I believe?), paying by anything other than MasterCard pre-pay… will all add to the cost?

If I go to BA’s website and book a flight to London at £30 do you know how much comes off my credit card? Exactly £30. I don’t pay a penny extra. And I get a drink and a snack on the flight. Plus a plane seat that doesn’t feel like it was stolen from a primary school pedal car.

I can book a flight that departs and arrives at a reasonable hour to a central airport with good transport links.

And when it lands I don’t get a bloody annoying fanfare on the tannoy telling me how great it is that we’ve landed on time.

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Couldn’t put it better

Boeing 737-800, named Nyköping, takes off from...
Don't fly on me

A post on Times Online detailing 20 reasons not to fly Ryanair. They pretty much cover everything although I’ll clarify point 2. If one person in your group has a bag then you all must check in at the airport and all pay the check-in charge, but only if you’ve made a group booking.

The way round this is to book the luggage carrier’s flight separately. Which takes time and is a pain in the arse, but saves a fiver per person per flight segment so may be worth it.

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Ryanair are thieving *****

Safety CardImage by Ultrastar175g via FlickrOK, so it’s not a huge revelation but Ryanair are, indeed greedy thieving ********. Sneaky, conniving, slippery *****. And that’s just a few of the words I’d use to describe them. Any way they can fiddle you out of more cash, they’ll do it.

I’m booking tickets for some friends for the Graspop trip in June. Three people return from Stansted, one person (me) one-way from Eindhoven to Stansted. All nice and simple. Obviously, there will be credit card fees involved, so I want to book as many flights at once to reduce the fees involved.

OK, so I can’t book three out, 4 in with one transaction. It’s 3 out on one booking, 4 back on another. Or 3 return and then a separate booking for the guy going one-way. Either way, two credit card fees.

Wrong.

Either way it’s SEVEN credit card fees. Ryanair have gone all original and charge per person, per flight segment. So if I were paying on Visa, I could expect a whopping £21 in credit card charges. Frankly – ******* ludicrous. Even using a debit card, it’s £7.

More sneakiness. If you’re booking a flight from Europe to the UK, there is no choice on currency. You pay in Euros. And the flights are rounded to nice, convenient amounts – which are higher than the cost of the flight when booked as part of a return. Example – sterling price for Eindhoven to Stansted is £9.99. Booking it as a single is €14.40. At the current exchange rate this is £11.61. It doesn’t stop there as all the booking fees, card fees, baggage fees, taxes and so on are also lifted. The resultant flight is around a tenner dearer than it would be in Pounds. not to forget that most credit cards / banks charge a fee for dealing in non-sterling.

Add to that their 15kg checked luggage limit – 5kg below that of most other airlines. A 10kg carry-on limit – 2kg below that of others. A baggage check-in fee of £6 for the first bag and £12 for the next. Which necessitates that you check in at the airport… a further £3. Surely if you’re going to check one bag in and therefore have to check in at the airport (as opposed to the free online alternative), they may as well charge you £9 for the bag and include the fee? Ah, but then they’d not be able to claim their baggage fees were low…

Also note that every money-making option is selected on the web page unless you turn it off. As if anyone really wants to pay an extra £6 to be one of the first onto the plane. And insurance is selected by default.

I still loathe their advertising. My flight – according to their advertising – was £9.99. It actually cost me nearer £45. And if you want to complain (or check up on a booking you’re not sure has gone through because their website crashed)? 10p/min in the UK (34c/min in France).

I’m currently stuck as I’ve received no confirmation details for the 6 flights I booked for my friends. Have they been booked? I don’t know. I didn’t get an email confirming the details of the flight I do know went through, so the lack of mail for the other one is no indication at all.

Ryanair – the shittest airline on the planet, budget or not. British Airways may be able to decimate an entire airport terminal in 8 hours, but Ryanair are simply just ****. And greedy. Greedy and ****. And sneaky.