The Embodiment Of All That Is Metal

Diddy Wishingwell figure in top of Weebles Bar...
This photo will make some kind of sense if you read the blog post (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I mentioned in the recent Shinedown review that some comments at the gig had got my head ticking. I also said that it would result in another blog post.

This is that blog post. The events posted within don’t occur at any point near the California Presidential Primary.

Shinedown’s singer Brent took a pause between songs to “converse” with the crowd. By which I mean he asked some questions and imagined he heard the responses he wanted. Most likely unbeknownst to him, a rather light-headed person at the back of the room (horrific diarrhoea, no food in 24 hours then 1/4 pint of cider will do this to a man) actually engaged in the conversation. It went like this:

Brent: What’s one thing that’s certain in life?

Me: Taxes

Brent: Rock and roll! There is nothing in life that can’t be made simpler with drums, guitars, a bass and some kick-ass vocals. Rock and roll has been there for each and every one of you. How many times has rock and roll been there for you in your life?

Me: Three. Maybe four. No. Three.

And then I actually started thinking. Which is dangerous territory when your blood sugar only exists because of rehydration salts and 150ml of Strongbow.

Rock and roll had been there for me a few times. Seriously. It had. During some severe downtimes, I’ve turned to the likes of Hatebreed whose lyrics basically tell you (OK yell, loudly) that you shouldn’t be weak, that nobody can get you down but yourself and that you should fight back. I’m actually going to come back to that line of thought in yet another post shortly.

That would have been a sensible place to stop. But no. My mind meandered further down the wibbly-wobbly barely-focussed road it could barely see and the words “Weebles Wobble But They Never Fall Down” erupted from my lips. Much to the amusement, annoyance and/or bemusement of my lovely wife and our friend Wendi who had joined us for the gig.

Why? Because Lawnmower Deth have a song by that name. And it’s silly. And because when I’m upset or want to take my mind off stuff, I think of silly things. It cheers me up. It also cheers up my baby daughter as I sing some of their songs to her. Mainly because I’m a bit strange, but also because I know all the words. After all, it’s not difficult to remember the words to “Thermonuclear War Is Good For Your Complexion” when they’re:

Thermonuclear war… is good for your complexion,

Thermonuclear war… is good for your complexion,

Thermonuclear war… is good for your complexion,

Thermonuclear war… is good for your complexion.

I do not have a great memory.

Anyway, this got me thinking further. The lyrics for “Weebles…” are as follows and are lifted from the TV commercial for the little toys from way back when I was a kid. I think you can still get them these days, but they won’t be as good. Oh, no.

Weebles wobble, but they never fall down,

Weebles wobble, but they never fall down,

Weebles are round!

Don’t fall down!

Weebles are round!

Don’t fall down!

Weeblewobbleweeblewobbleweeblewobbleweeblewobbleweeblewobbleweeblewobbledon’tfalldown!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the embodiment of rock and metal. It’s been pushed off the airwaves, banned by religious movements, used as a prosecution tool by useless parents when their kids go tonto, vilified in the press… but it keeps coming back. Simply, you cannot keep a good thing down. Not unless you keep your finger pressed on it permanently. And every kid eventually got fed up doing that and the Weeble just popped right back up again.

We are the people of rock! And we are Weebles!

Don’t worry. I’m off to get some sleep now.

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