Best 18-rated movie scenes… my arse

A story on the Beeb about the best 18-rated movie scenes (from, I think, Empire magazine) raises the usual arguments. Mainly about how wrong the people who voted for the stomach burster in Alien are. I mean, come on. I’ve seen more realistic aliens on the Muppet Show. I actually remember laughing out loud when I saw it. All the tension, the horror, the blood slowly appearing… and then this solid plastic dildo pops out, looks cute and bounces away like Kermit walking behind a fence.

Could I pick any better? Yes. But I’d have to think long and hard as there are so many! How about Derek scooping his brains back in from Bad Taste, or the vomit-eating scene from the same film? The hilarious “I kick arse for the lord” scene in Brain Dead, or the “100 zombies versus man with lawnmower” sequence later on? I’ve only used one director and two films so far.

Saving Private Ryan‘s awsome opening sequence would have been a definite for top slot had the BBFC not (quite rightly) lowered the rating to a 15 due to its potentially educational value, thus giving it a wider audience and making it legal to show in schools.

Votes, people? And remember this is “18” not “R18” so that 3-arse anal gangbang with Chuck Johanson from So You Do Take It Up The Shitter? Volume 27 doesn’t count.

11 thoughts on “Best 18-rated movie scenes… my arse”

  1. I personally have to go with the whole scary crucifix thing from the exorcist. Which I haven’t seen since I was 15, so maybe it’s not that cool…I don’t remember…Who knows…all I remember is that telling someone ‘Your mother sells cakes in Hull’ is a great insult amongst my friends, lol.

  2. Ditto the crucifix masturbation scene. If you want something that hits on three taboos for the price of one, that’s gotta be it.

    As for Alien – I think if you’d never heard about it it would shock the bejeesus out of you. I still can’t watch the moment when the first facehugger breaks through John Hurt’s helmet…

  3. I confess I’ve never seen Exorcist. But I’d rate the facehugger scene as way scarier than the chestburster. If it was done nowadays I’m sure it’d be better but watching it even for the first time it was utterly comedic.

    I could also suggest the entire Mr Bean film as it was totally horrific. But it was a “U” (WHY?!) so it doesn’t count either.

  4. Hence my entire reason for NOT seeing that film.

    I love Rowan Atkinson, I do find him very funny, just not Mr Bean. He just annoys me and has done since I was I was about 10.

    And if we’re talking U rated films…Watership Down wins that category, hands down. Random Trivia: Watership Down is the only U rated film to contain the words ‘piss off’!

  5. Agreed on Mr Atkinson. Bring back Blackadder! And I did not know about the Watership Down thing. If I could bring myself to watch it again I’d check that out.

    Proof of how old I am – when WD came out, it was in the day when people queued round the block to see a film. Missed it, and kept queueing for the next performance. We did just that outside the ABC on Westgate Road in Newcastle and only got into the second performance because I was small enough to sit on my mum’s knee.

  6. I only know because I forced myself to watch it when it was on on Good Friday, because I had convinced myself that it couldn’t possibly be as bad as I remembered…but it was…it was quite possibly worse, lol!

  7. Funny, I tried to watch Passion of the Christ over Easter and I thought it was shit. Mel Gibson’s really slipped. Not a gun or explosion anywhere.

  8. I did think the stomach burster was horrific at the time and that was watching it as a video release as I wasn’t old enough to see it on the big screen. But watch it now and the special effects seem ropey I guess.

    I’d have to say the girl crawling out of the tv in The Ring…would still give me nightmares if I thought about it long enough so that’s enough thinking! *shudder*

    Rowan Atkinson rocks as Blackadder, sucks as Mr Bean (although was quite funny in the early days)

  9. Mr Bean peaked with the “Mini versus Reliant Robin at multi-storey garage exit” episode. It was all downhill from there.

  10. Glad to hear that the second half of Mr Bean was no better: it remains the only movie I’ve ever walked out of partway through. I’d paid for two bloody tickets, too.

    Brain Dead’s marked as a 15 on my DVD. Which is funny considering some of the banal crap they’re marking as 18.

    18 scenes, eh? These are the top ten moments from my collection in alphabetic order since I’m too lazy to sort them anyotherhow. Beware spoilers.

    Aliens – facehugger in jar, always gets me.
    Con air – playing with dollies
    Evil Dead 2 – Sawing off his hand? Lots of other scenes.
    Exorcist – crucifix scene
    Mad Max 1 – everyone dies scene
    Mad Max 2 – boomerang moment
    Pulp Fiction – Injection, plenty other scenes.
    Robocop 1 – The cripping
    Robocop 2 – The re-crippling, by a kid.

    You’d expect some extreme moments from Caligula, Clockwork Orange, The Crow, Leon, Natural Born Killers, Witchfinder General and others, but none stood out in my mind.

    But in their top five, I don’t think they’re asking for the BEST scenes – just the ones you remember. Everyone remembers the chestburster scene – and the American Werewolf transformation Scene, and the Omen decapitation scene, and of COURSE the crucifix abuse. But the sad thing is I don’t even remember the fifth scene they mentioned, and can’t find it on youtube to refresh my memory 🙁

  11. I don’t think I’ve ever walked out of a film. I’ve left a few DVDs unfinished, though.

    Brain Dead a 15, eh? I’m sure mine was an 18. But seeing as it’s in a box somewhere in North Wales I can’t check.

    I’m the same as you for the final scene listed as well. I just don’t remember it. Which is a shame as it must be good!

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