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Water, water, everywhere

Mine smells like eggs

…and all of it flowing from my poop-chute.

It’s been over a week since anything remotely solid passed from between my bum-cheeks. Leah came down with something when we were on Gili Trawangan and I think passed it on to me so that by the time we got to […]

Underage sex

Mmm. Dribbly.

That got your attention.

While at Graspop and under the influence of too much beer, and having heard of the death of Michael Jackson (am I the last blog in the world to mention that?) I had a thought.

You know the “If they’re old enough to bleed, they’re old enough […]

Handy Household Hints #176

For sex toys only

If you want to make sure your Guitar Hero batteries don’t keep wearing out, ensure your partner’s sex toys all run on AAA batteries so she doesn’t keep nicking the AAs out of your controller.


Things you didn’t need to know – no. 2146

The amount of time spent shoving your poop down through the gaps in the plughole vastly outweighs the time it would take to walk downstairs and use the toilet instead of shitting in the sink.

Things you didn’t need to know – no. 2145

The sink in my room is quite low down. This means when I piss in it, I don’t have to stand on tip-toes to prevent my balls touching the cold porcelain.