Category: Film

Riddick / Pain & Gain

120px-Film-stripA very belated post for these two films as I’ve been so short of time, recently. Weekends taken up with Duke of Edinburgh expeditions has eaten into writing time! We saw these almost two weeks ago, I think…

Riddick

“You’re not afraid of the dark, are you?”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: see-in-the-dark ex-slave-and-planetary-ruler Riddick finds himself stranded on a dangerous planet and wonders how to get off again

See it if you like: Aliens and First Blood.

Following on from Pitch Black and The Chronicles of Riddick, this third instalment sees our anti-hero marooned on a scary big planet, seemingly with no way off. This may have happened at the end of CoR, but I can’t remember as I didn’t like the film and may have fallen asleep partway through.

Riddick is much better, though, and more in line with the first film in the series. It’s almost two films in one. The first half documenting Riddick’s (Vin Diesel, in case you didn’t know) escape from the barren half of the planet to somewhere a little more foliage-covered; the second half his battle against bounty hunters who turn up to claim his head.

Much reference is made to the first two films, so if you’re a fan then a repeat watch may be ideal before you take on this one.

Effects are good, dialogue is suitably silly, bad guys are wonderfully over-the-top (especially Jordi Mollà‘s Santana and Katee Sackhoff‘s overly-butch Dahl), and there is a decent story going on around all the by-the-numbers character-slaying.

Don’t take it too seriously and it’s a good romp. My favourite of the three films, anyway.

Pain & Gain

“Unfortunately, this is a true story.”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: based-on-a-true-story series-of-heists gone wrong comedy action where people with biceps bigger than their brains show how not to get rich quick

See it if you like: looking at men with ridiculously large musculature while having a giggle

Michael Bay is more famous for his stupidly huge films like Con Air and those ones with the robots that turn into cars. However, he has done a fair few films based more on story and less on fuelling special effects labs. This is one of them.

Based on a true story from around 1995. How close to the truth it is would require some research, but there are some key scenes which I think are documented. Best of all is that they are some of the stupidest. This is a story of success and failure. And succeeding at failure. On a huge scale.

Bodybuilder Daniel Lugo (Mark Wahlberg) decided he’s sick of other people being rich when he does all the hard work. So he decides to attempt to extort one of his customers. He enlists the aid of a friend, Adrian Doorbal (Anthony Mackie) and they, in turn, draft in some additional muscle in the form of reformed ex-convict and musclebound Jesus-freak Paul Doyle (Dwayne Johnson, formerly “The Rock”).

And it all goes horribly wrong. With hilarious consequences. Especially when they bugger everything up and try again with another victim.

Not a family-friendly film, but one with with plenty of dark and grisly humour. There are some genuinely funny moments, and Dwayne Johnson finally proves that he’s not just got a screen career because of his bulk. He’s genuinely good in this.

Very enjoyable – surprisingly so if I’m honest.

 

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Jack The Giant Slayer competition

BD_UK
Jack on Blu-Ray

Thank you for all the entries / comments for the Jack The Giant Slayer competition. There were thirty-two eligible entries, and I used random.org to pick a number from 1-32.

The winner has been emailed. Assuming I hear back from them by Wednesday, I’ll pop their name on here to confirm. If I’ve not heard by by Wednesday, I’ll pick another!

Winner contacted, address received and passed on to PartnersHub for them to sort out sending it. Congratulations to Emma Lewis (entrant number 6)!

Again, thank you to PartnersHub for the competition prize and resources.

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Planes

120px-Film-stripJust a quick review as I’m short on time. Little Miss was off with friends to see the Mortal Instruments film, so I took Little Mister to see something shorter and more enjoyable.

Planes

“He’s gonna die.”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: underdog crop duster plane wants to enter world racing championship against all odds

See it if you like: Cars, Cars 2, etc.

A simple story that’s been seen before – lots of times. In essence it’s a cross between the two Cars films – no-hoper pushing for glory, aided by a retired/clapped out expert, globe-trotting scenes, well-known British actor in a supporting (not evil) role… there are more, but that way lies spoilers.

Visually, it’s excellent though nothing new. There is some good dialogue, plenty of lovely touches in the scenery and background. John Ratzenberger puts in his obligatory cameo.

It’s fun. Little Mister enjoyed it and left the cinema running along with his arms outstretched.

Don’t expect anything that’ll make you go “wow – I did not expect that plot twist” at any point during its running time and you’ll probably enjoy it.

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Elysium / The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones

120px-Film-stripDate night rolled round and the two films that fitted in back-to-back were both effects-heavy, yet different.

Elysium

“I’d like them dead.”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: in a dystopian future, one man needs to get from the poor zone to the rich zone. Violence ensues.

See it if you like: sci-fi with an actual plot and very good effects. And, obviously, District 9.

If you’ve seen the aforementioned (moderately low budget) District 9 then it won’t take more than a few minutes of Elysium starting before the visual similarities make themselves known. Neill Blomkamp does a dystopian wasteland better than most and he’s stuck with the theme for this big-budget outing.

Before I get to the plot and actors, I just have to say that the visuals are superb. They look realistic, the physics in the moving stuff feels just about right, there’s a ton of detail… Basically, they back up and bolster the film making the setting and story that bit more believable. Exactly what effects should be. This is a plot-driven movie with effects to support it, not an effects-driven one with a story tacked on.

Damon is pretty good as the downtrodden ex-con to finds himself in need of medical treatment. The only place to get it is on the orbiting rich-person-only space station Elysium. Their immigration policy is similar to that suggested by certain Australian politicians and begins with “Arm missiles…”.

Leading the posh nobs is President Patel (Faran Tahir), but he’s overshadowed by an as-usual excellent Jodie Foster who’s somewhat more militant in her outlook. In her pay is mercenary Kruger (Sharlto Copley, who played the lead in District 9) who is deliciously nasty.

The story, though, doesn’t flow so much as it staggers. A shame as the various plot strands aren’t bad. For me, they just didn’t move around as well as they could. This only spoiled things a little for me as I was utterly drawn into Blomkamp’s world.

A top notch piece of sci-fi. Nicely silly in places, great to look at and with a very able cast.

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones

“Everything you’ve heard… about monsters, about nightmares, legends whispered around campfires. All the stories are true.”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: Young girl starts to find out there’s more to the world – and herself – than she thought

See it if you like: Harry Potter, Twilight… teen vampire/magic/werewolf stuff

From sublime sci-fi to ridiculous teen-angst mush. OK, it wasn’t that bad. To start with. But by the time I’d asked myself “Is this it? Is this the climax? Is it over?” I’d just got fed up with the whole thing and wanted to go home. Often, I’ll pass that off as simply being tired and therefore judging the film unfairly but when the wife – who likes this kind of stuff – says the same thing you know the film’s just gone on too… damn… long.

We have a young girl, Clary (Lilly Collins), who starts drawing mysterious symbols subconsciously. Something inside her is trying to get out and an attack on her family leads her to meet Jace (Jamie Campbell Bower) – a “Shadowhunter” who battles demons.

And thence begins a journey where she discovers what’s truly within her, snogs someone, battles vampires, yada-yada-yada. Sorry, but it just seemed to drag on.

The leads are typical teen fodder – pretty girl, brooding boy, unwelcoming peers, nerdy best friend (Robert Sheehan, who’s been far better in everything else I’ve ever seen him in). The story is very predictable, the effects are OK, and – in case I’ve not made the point already – it’s too bloody long.

Started well, got boring, should have limited itself to ninety minutes. It’s officially 130 minutes, but feels like 180.

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RED 2 / 2 Guns

120px-Film-stripOne sequel, one film with a “2” in the name that isn’t, and a very sore tummy from eating a landfill-engulfing quantity of jalapeños for dinner.

RED 2

“What happens in the Kremlin stays in the Kremlin!”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: the good guys from the first film are targeted by the nastiest hired killers on the planet because they apparently have some information that they don’t

See it if you like: spy thrillers with a nice edge of humour

You may recall such recent reviews as Kick-Ass 2 and Despicable Me 2. Well, RED 2 can join the list of sequels which don’t try to be the first film all over again, and which are better for it.

Whereas the original RED had some exceptionally comic book-esque scenes (the sequence in the shipping yard being the prime example), these are generally lacking in this sequel which goes more for chop-socky fast-paced combat and over-the-top scenes with guns instead. The good thing is that it doesn’t suffer as a result.

All of the central original cast are there, and this time joined by some other big names. Anthony Hopkins turns up at one point, but I can’t go into detail as it may be spoiler-some. Suffice to say he’s brilliant and shows an impressive range with a very entertaining character.

Also appearing is one of my favourite unsung actors, Neal McDonough. Since seeing him in Boomtown (a superb series which should never have been cancelled), I’d always looked forward to seeing him in things and he is spot on in this. He plays a very determined, no holds barred, whatever it takes to get what he wants operative.

Add to this Catherine Zeta-Jones who has more slap on than three women working at the Boots make-up counter, David Thewlis as a hard-to-catch seller of secrets and Byung-hun Lee as the world’s most dangerous contract killer and you have a very good cast indeed.

The story is also good, and the dialogue fizzes. In particular, and as in the first film, Willis and Malkovich play incredibly well off each other.

There’s everything a decent spy story needs. Guns, women, explosions, tension, backstabbing, cars, guns, more explosions, poison gas, things blowing up… All with a decent number of laughs thrown in.

Yup, this one’s good.

2 Guns

“Are we people?”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: Uncovered undercover DEA agent his patsy find themselves hunted for stealing the wrong person’s money

See it if you like: gun-thirsty action thrillers which still make you think

Second up was this nice twist on the buddy story starring Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg. Without giving too much away (no more than the trailer does, anyway), the two are drug-running and robbing places left, right and centre… but unknown to Stigman (Wahlberg), Washington’s character Bobby is an undercover DEA agent.

Thing is, despite this little fact coming to life at an inopportune time, the two end up thrown together in a bid to keep themselves alive and get revenge on various parties who’ve wronged them.

It’s pretty violent, but like RED 2, has some very humorous moments. The dialogue and chemistry between the two leads is great to watch with some fast-paced verbal jousting that’s either the result of a lot of rehearsal or a natural link. Either way, it makes many scenes very entertaining indeed.

Importantly, the story is good as well although it’s a little bit easy to guess who the overall bad guy is. This doesn’t steal any of the story’s thunder, though, and it rides well until a suitably chaotic and blood-soaked finalé.

 

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