Category: Entertainment

Armored / Ninja Assassin

Seeing as I was away last week, I missed the usual Film Thursday. I partly made up on Tuesday night by popping through to see two movies after uni.

Armored

First up is this taught action thriller with a mis-spelled title. You’d think they could at least have given the UK a proper set of posters. But, no, Armored it is.

Plot-in-a-nutshell: A group of security guards get involved in a heist involving $42 million, only (surprise) not everything goes to plan.

I wasn’t expecting a lot from Armored. There’s a decent cast, including Jean Reno and Laurence Fishburn who I particularly like. It’s a nice, simple plot. The running time is under 90 minutes.

Given the low-brow plot, Armored does OK. It doesn’t outstay its welcome and the action is mixed with some reasonably tense moments. Yes, it’s hokey. Sure, you can see what’s coming. Of course, there are plot holes you could drive one of the armored… sorry “armoured” trucks through.

The thing is that the 88-minute running time means that you don’t have enough of a chance to dwell on these. I also enjoyed the limited setting. After thirty minutes or so, the film is set in one location. This reduced set still allows for a fair bit of action including two vehicular chase scenes.

Very much a film involving little to no use of the brain whatsoever. No classic, but a good way to pass a little time.

Ninja Assassin

Well, what else do you need to know given how cheese-tastic the name is?

Plot-in-a-nutshell: Raizo (Rain) is a ninja assassin turned traitor, trying to destroy the school that created him.

This is a ridiculously silly film. Let’s get that out of the way. It’s stupid, it’s gory and it’s over-the-top. I’d liken it to Enter The Dragon meets Saw. The grisliest sequence is actually in the opening segment. After that, a lot of the combat and bloodshed occurs in much darker surroundings.

What plot there is follows two strands – a flashback one detailing Raizo’s upbringing, and a current-day one featuring a couple of wooden “Europol” officers trying to track the ninja school themselves.

There’s not a lot else to say about it. I enjoyed it, although the gore just got silly after a while. Some scenes are artily done, but others are just over the top.

It works. I mean, you’re sat watching something called Ninja Assassin, for crying out loud. What do you expect?

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Mmm… fajitas

After dinner last night, I can definitely recommend Tesco‘s own-brand fajita box set. At a pound, it looks too cheap given that the likes of El Paso can be twice that. This just isn’t the case.

However, a couple of changes to the recipe on the back of the box will improve it.

First off, we used nearer 400g of chicken for the two of us rather than the recommended 550g. This means you’ll get the right amount of food for two. It also means that there’s more spice per unit weight of meat so the fajitas are hotter!

Secondly, the instructions state that you just chuck the powder in with the chicken that’s cooking in oil. I’d change this. First of all, you don’t want to be using that much oil. Secondly, the powder would just sit there. Instead, get a small mug and use it to dilute the powder with boiling water. Once the chicken’s started to cook, pour the spice/water over it and leave it to bubble away. This soaks the flavour into the chicken far more effectively.

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Up In The Air

Up in the Air (film)
Up In The Air

I wasn’t sure what to expect with this one and squeezed it in on a Wednesday night around travel arrangements and coursework.

Plot-in-a-nutshell: George Clooney plays Ryan Bingham a well-travelled businessman who lives most of the year on the road… or more accurately on the airways.

Quick stuff first – I really, really enjoyed Up In The Air. I’m not a massive Clooney fan, though I do seem to enjoy a lot of his films. However, there’s no doubting he was a perfect choice for this role and it really does allow him a lot of range. His character is a little… different from what we’d consider normal. A man who revels in the fact that he doesn’t stay at home, instead living out of a small wheeled backpack.

His life seems about to take quite a change when a young upstart at his company comes up with a new method of doing their job (which, incidentally, is firing people) – doing it via webcam. This reduces costs and – importantly to Bingham – travel. His one aim in life is to hit a certain targetted number of air miles so that he can enter an elite club belonging to American Airlines, who it’s incredibly obvious must have sponsored the film.

As an aside, this movie has the most obvious sponsorship deals I think I’ve seen since the last Bond epic. American, as mentioned, are the only airline whose logos you see. Car hire is courtesy of Hertz, and mobile communications are exclusively Blackberry. Surprisingly, no laptop manufacturer seems to have been lured in. It’s actually unusual not to see the name of a tech company prominently displayed on the open lid of a computer – in all cases the badges are obscured.

Jason Reitman has done a great job of directing with the pace changing more rapidly than a tango. Swift, half-second montages cover the sections of Bingham’s life that are oft-repeated whereas the more emotive scenes are allowed a lot of time for them to sink in. The dialogue is simply wonderful. Witty, clever and reminiscent of the banter that I miss so much from The West Wing.

What’s even better is that, although it starts to turn into a feelgood movie the ending isn’t perhaps what you’d expect. As ever, I’ll avoid spoilers but I’m glad it didn’t just fall into a formulaic pattern and ruin an otherwise good film.

Definitely worth seeing, although it’s slightly too long for its own good.

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Single film Sunday

I was toying with also catching 44 Inch Chest today, but I just couldn’t be bothered leaving the house! I did make the effort to see The Book of Eli, though, and glad I did.

Plot-in-a-nutshell: A lone man walks across the post-apocalyptic US carrying a book which is very much in demand – and not just from nice people.

First off, although filmed in a similar style to The Road which I saw a few days ago this is a hugely different film. For a start it seems to have some kind of plot. There are questions that as a film-viewer you feel you want to know the answers to. There is action. There are some nice snippets of dialogue.

All of these were missing from The Road which is, in fairness, a very different film.

The lead in this case is Denzel Washington who plays the titular Eli as a monosyllabic hard nut who just wants to get on with his little stroll to deliver a package. Bad guy duties go to the excellent Gary Oldman who carries out the manic, power-crazed role as well as would be expected.

Eli is carrying a book (no surprise there) to “the west” and Oldman decides he wants it. It’s a powerful book and what it is won’t come as a shock. What this leads to is a good bit of discussion over how the book has and will be used – how and why, and the effects it has had pre-war and within the society after it.

There are obviously going to be comparisons to the Mad Max films, but given that there are only so many ways you can portray a post-nuclear wilderness. Mel Gibson‘s films pretty much designed the template for any that were to follow, after all.

I definitely won’t spoil the twist at the end, and it’s a good one, but it does drag a bit. The final revelation is made, you get the “joke”… and then there’s more. That, to me, was the only major weak part of the movie. Other than that, it’s captivating and well-filmed. Visually, it’s excellent with a good use of real sets and what must be post-film effects. How else you’d get the Golden Gate Bridge in that state I don’t know.

If you’re only going to see one film set after a nuclear holocaust this month, make it The Book of Eli.

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Four Film Fursday

I actually managed to squeeze four movies in this week due to some nice scheduling at the CineWorld. I’m somewhat busy right now so the reviews will be brief.

The Road

Plot-in-a-nutshell: Father and son travel across the US post-nuclear holocaust trying to find safety.

Sounds like a good plot and the film looks beautiful. All faded colours to a point where you could almost be watching a black and white film. Viggo Mortensen looks skinny and haggard as the dying father, while the kid who plays his son is just annoying and squeally at times.

Thing is… nothing much happens. Every time they meet some nasties, they hide and/or run away. Until the next ones. It’s just one series of non-episodes after another. Boring, uninteresting and tedious.

It’s the kind of thing that will garner OSCAR nominations – arty and pointless. On the other hand it’s just not entertaining, and not worth your cash.

Did You Hear About The Morgans?

Plot-in-a-nutshell: The Morgans (Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker) are separated yet, due to being forced into protective custody in small-town backwater America, start to rekindle their relationship.

Yes, it sounds awful. Yes, Hugh Grant plays his favourite character – Hugh Grant. Yes, SJP (as well as having confusing football-sounding initials) looks like a miserable horse. But by gum it works.

The dialogue is snappy and witty. Grant’s comic timing is, frankly, superb. None of the situations or slapstick is so over-the-top that it can’t be taken too seriously. The supporting cast are good enough in their own right.

I am amazed to say that I really enjoyed this film. Not a classic, but for a night out at the cinema it’s really good entertainment value.

Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll

Plot-in-a-nutshell: biopic of Ian Dury, polio-suffering lead singer of The Blockheads.

This film is superb. I’m not a huge fan of The Blockheads, though I do know the classics that made the charts when I was a kid. However, the way the story is told held my interest throughout.

While large parts are just “film”, there are some interesting jumps back into Dury’s past as well as some very off-the-wall sequences using animation and bizarre set pieces. It’s unusual, but given Dury’s quirky personality it just works.

What is amazingly clear is that Andy Serkis was by far and away the best choice for the lead role. Looking at him alongside photos of the “real” Dury is staggering. Given that the film’s in Cockney, I reckon it at least stands a shot at Best Foreign Language Film at the OSCARs, though Serkis deserves some kind of award for this performance.

Not exactly family viewing due to the language, violence and drug use but an incredibly captivating film.

It’s Complicated

Plot-in-a-nutshell: A divorced couple start bonking again despite one of them being re-married. Comedy ensues. Or not.

Another film about a separated couple, with an acclaimed cast but this one lacking a major component of a comedy – laughs. Morgans is far better than this dragged-out effort. There are moments, but they’re too far apart and not as funny anything in the other film.

Steve Martin continues his new habit of not being funny, but at least he wasn’t even trying in this. Meryl Streep puts on a good performance and Alec Baldwin is semi-sleezy as the ex. However, they just can’t save a poor, plodding script.

If you fancy a rom-com or a date movie, go and see Morgans.

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