Coconut madness and Iranian madness

I wish I could be in London for this event on April 23rd. The cast of the Monty Python musical Spamalot will be leading over 1700 people in a bid to set the world record for the largest coconut orchestra. Nuts. Literally. But how cool?

On the other side of the coin is the numpty President Ahmadinejad of Iran. This is the prick who stated that he was releasing the improperly (probably) captured British sailors as a “gift” to the UK. I’d hate to be one of his kids if this is his idea of a gift.

“Well, Abdul, it’s your birthday. Here’s a gift for you.”

“But dad – that’s my bike. You stole it last week.”

“Ungrateful child!”

******.

EMI takes locks off music tracks

EMI is taking security locks off downloaded songs. Some may scream “at last!” and I’d be among them if it wasn’t for one thing: why do these tracks cost more than the normal versions? Their argument is that they’re more portable and that they’re higher quality.

Fact is, if I pay for a track I expect it to be portable. I expect to be able to listen to it on my PC, my laptop, my MP3 player, my car stereo, my home stereo and to be able to take it to a friend’s house. Why should I be charged extra for this privilege.

As for higher quality… most MP3s I’ve seen for download seem to be 192Kbps which is more than needed. I always resample mine down to 128Kbps which (I think?) is CD quality. Regardless, with the equipment I’ve got I can’t hear any difference between 192 and 128 – just that the latter is around 25-33% smaller in filesize. I’m certain that upping the download “quality” to 256Kbps or higher will be even less useful to the average punter. They’ll only end up downloading a larger file which sounds the same as on half it’s size!

“We are adding another product, priced higher, with more features, higher sound quality and hassle free interoperability.”

Horse ****. It’s the same product, priced higher, with no more “features” (What the ****? Features?), the same sound quality as far as the human ear is concerned and “hassle free interoperability” that we’ve had from tapes, LPs and CDs for decades. So, by my reckoning, to all intents and purposes it’s actually just “the same product, priced higher”.

Yet another case of a record company trying to sound magnanimous about making more money from us by attempting to give us something we should get for our money anyway. Stinks of the hoo-hah over legally downloadable films… another laughable attempt to keep up with technology.

A note on MySpace and web page design

Simple tip – “less is more”.

I guess I have to explain that further. Just because MySpace defaults to a full-screen pagesize (******* stupid in its own right) does not mean you have to start shoving down every ******* meme you’ve ever done, high-res scans of your top 3000 DVDs, links to every bastard cunting video you’ve ever watched on YouTube and photos of your 2 “real” friends and 197 useless wanktards you’ve met on MySpace.

Incidentally, this goes for bands and companies who’ve opted to use MySpace as a cheap ******’s way of having a web page. It looks like **** – you look like ****. Pay someone real money to do a proper page instead of feeding that little troll in the shipping department free beer to whack a load of ***** up on MySpace and think this is acceptable.

****’s sake. *******.

A happy post

You know, there’s something that will always bring a big, cheesy grin to my face no matter how bad a day I’m having (not that I’m having too many at the moment), but…

Waving to a little kid who stares at you, smiles and gives one of those kindy of wobbly waves back. Makes me feel better every time.

Thing is, in Oz nobody thinks I’m weird because I wave at kids. Back home I’d probably be locked up for being a pervert. Which I am, in fairness. Just not that kind.

Someone please take this shovel out of my hands and stop me digging. Thanks.

Bye Bye ANS

I’m sat in the lounge of the Base Backpackers in Sydney and someone’s got the TV locked on the E! channel. And it’s showing a huge overlong over-emotional special on the funeral of some blonde bimbo with huge tits who died of a drug overdose.

Basically it seems like an excuse for a load of people to go on about how well they knew her and how much they miss her and how it’s all so unfair and… and… and…

Bollocks. Full marks to her for seeing an easy way to a quick buck (marry a guy who’s about to die) but let’s face it – she was just some blonde chick with artificial knockers. How come famous scientists don’t get this kind of treatment when the cark it? You know, people who’ve actually achieved something, or done something which makes a difference to the whole world? Instead, everyone seems more interested in what colour velvet drapes were used in the funeral or whether ANS’s casket was open or closed.

Well, I suppose she’s just continuing what she was doing when she was still alove – being famous for being famous.