Category: Waffle

I found out that the tail end of last week included World Book Day, of which I knew nothing at all until Leah told me she’d dressed as a witch to go to the school she works at. A shame, as I’d have plugged it on here to my three regular readers as something I wholeheartedly believe in. The reading of books, that is. Not the dressing-up of schoolteachers in witch-ey finery. I much prefer Wild West Whore or Transylvanian Barmaid as the costume of choice for buxom wenches, though I confess they’re not perhaps very suitable for primary schools.

This week, I’ve just discovered, is National Science and Engineering Week, something else I’d happily support as a non-closeted geek. I found out about it by chance when someone on the ZZ9 mailing list posted details of a decent-looking kids’ chemistry set. The supplier are giving free delivery this week.

I had a Merit one that got very heavily used when I was a nipper. Our old kitchen table had many bubbled rings scorched into the varnish by me putting the little metal boiling pan things onto it right from the Bunsen burner. It seems that Merit and other big names from the time have vanished in a puff of evil, rotten-egg smelling smoke.

Sadly, I have yet to spawn progeny of my own. The closest to a nipper in the family is my little cousin and she’s more of the artistic bent, going to dance classes and learning the piano. The risk of being ostracised from the family has meant I haven’t gone forward with my threat of gifting her a drum kit.

Her young age does mean she could change direction, though. Perhaps by the time she’s 10 she could start to show signs of being a new Marie Curie (without the glow). Then I could get her something which could melt the furniture. Whether this is better or worse than encouraging her to be a miniature Animal, I don’t know.

It’s just a shame that I’ve only just heard about these two weeks, and heard about both of them by luck. I read the BBC and Sky news headlines regularly and there’s not been a sausage about either.

Why do food manufacturers assume we’re all idiots? Is this the fault of some dipshit American (sorry to stereotype, but they are historically the first to seek money in recompense for their own stupidity) who sued Kellogg’s when they opened a box of Cornflakes and were "astounded, shocked and disappointed" not to find their cereal pre-drenched in milk and sprinkled liberally with strawberries?

The topic arises as I just saw the daftest example of a "serving suggestion" I’ve yet encountered. On a bag of Super-U crisps, the serving suggestion appears to be… to remove them from the bag. There is nothing else in the picture apart from crisps.

In a way, it makes me think that perhaps the bag doesn’t contain crisps, but instead a raw potato. Serving suggestion: remove potato from bag, slice thinly, fry and coat in flavouring.

I’ve been around a few places recently and I’m currently nesting in France. As I’ve been around Europe a lot in the last few weeks, I’ve noticed a lot of similarities (and differences) in the languages – mainly Spanish, German, French and Italian. Don’t get me started on the Eastern European ones as I’m simply baffled by the whole fricking lot of them.

But the one that raises the most questions? English. It’s weird. I mean, I love it, but it’s weird.

Take the following two examples posted at www.espressotranslations.com. In English, we say “window”. This translates into the following words in various languages:

French – fenêtre
German – Fenster
Italian – finestra
Spanish – ventana
Dutch – venster
Latin – fenestra
Greek – parathyro (in “Greeklish“)

OK, Spanish is a little off but the rest are obviously hugely based on the Latin. Where the hell did we get “window” from? And to throw another spanner in the works, why do we resort to the Latin root for the word “defenestration” (the act of throwing something, usually a person, through a window)? OK, “dewindowation” looks and sounds crap, but still…

Want another example? Try “blood”:

French – sang
German – Blut
Italian – anima
Spanish – sangre
Dutch – bloed
Latin – cruor, cruorem
Greek – aima (in Greeklish)

Now in this case, English seems to be in the slight majority for a change. French and Spanish have joined forces and Latin’s sat there wondering why nobody is listening to it. On the other hand, what’s the English term for blood-letting? It’s “exsanguination”. So we hop roots to another source again. Argh.

I’m no language expert, though I find them interesting. Anyone got any ideas where these to-ings and fro-ings come from?