Category: News

regular-ish news whinge

Well, what can I let off steam about in today’s news? In no particular order:

Some ******’s come up with the idea of school-leavers being asked to give an oath of allegiance to the queen. What a repulsive idea. Allegiance to the country I do agree with, but not the bloody royal family.

What strikes me as cheapening an already cheap idea is to proffer some kind of reward to those who volunteer (council tax discounts or student loan payments).

One suggestion I do like is the idea of offering immigrants a bursary towards English lessons. Ideally this should be a voucher scheme, or a grant towards establishments to offer these courses. And a mandatory test after 12 months (not a complex one, but just one to prove they’re progressing) otherwise kick them out. This is far more important than some pointless chant with a raised hand.

Also part of this raft of "ideas" includes the half-formed thought od updating the national anthem to remove verses not often used. What’s the point in that? If we don’t use them, we don’t use them. Whether they’re there or not makes no odds.

What the national anthem needs is changing. I’m sure I’ve ranted about this previously, but England needs an anthem of its own – the other three nations have theirs while for some reason we’re stuck with the generic British one, which further decreases our sense of national identity. I vote for Land of Hope and Glory. The UK should change the dull dirge we have now to the significantly more rousing Rule Britannia.

I wonder how much the moron who dreamed this lot up got paid?

Not exactly news, but always worth reiterating is the fact that the BNP are a bunch of ***** (and not the nice type). This time, their crime is not so much using a photograph that they (possibly correctly) claim is public domain, but the way they’ve used it. Their new leaflet seems to be endorsed by the family of a girl who died of a heroin overdose.

Within this heap of racist **** they try not to call &quo;propaganda" they also try to make out that drug abuse is a Muslim problem. No wonder so much of the world hates white people. Between ******* like these and the American government, we’ve so far painted every Muslim as a potential junkie who wants to strap explosives to his chest and fly a plane into a tower block.

Always up for a giggle is the Catholic church. I’ve been beaten to my views on this story by a lot of the comments on it, but at least it means I’m not alone in my amazement at their stupidity. They’ve announced some modern-day updates to the commandments / sins which they obviously haven’t researched too well.

First up, being excessively rich will stop you being allowed through the Pearly Gates. Interesting given the wealth coveted by their little organisation. Oh, hang on. Isn’t covetousness also a sin? Strike two.

Conspicuous by its absence is buggering choirboys, which is obviously still acceptable. A good job, or despite a lifetime in the cloth, hardly any of their priests would make it past Beelzebub’s pitchfork.

And finally, to sport. I’m just happy to see the teams which have made it through to the FA Cup semi-finals this year. One Premiership club (and not a so-called "top four" one at that, therefore guaranteeing a lower-league club a place in the final and a chance at European football next year.

A huge congratulations to Barnsley, West Brom, Cardiff and Portsmouth. For the first time in years there’s no foregone conclusions on the result. Some of the best "cupsets", and all on the same weekend as well. Brilliant.

How exactly is this news?

Emphasis on the "new". Alder Hey Hospital has announced that if parents didn’t smoke around their children, then the number of bronchitis cases (and other smoking-related diseases) would drop.

Now excuse me if I’ve been living in a future world and have just popped back to see how shitty the 21st century actually was… but haven’t we known this for years, just smokers are so ******* selfish they don’t care?

This reminds me of a guy I used to work with. He was my contact at another company and he told me about one of his colleagues with a very poorly daughter. Lovely child, about 10 years old, crippling lung conditions and stunted growth. This chap and his partner went to dinner at the colleague’s house… where said colleague and his wife chain-smoked the entire evening from the moment they arrived to the moment they left.

Despite this, the doctor’s protestations and what is common ******* knowledge in this day and age they point-blank refused to believe that their filthy habit was in any way related to their poor daughter’s debilitated condition.

The selfish, ignorant, backward *****.

I can’t be arsed looking for the post elsewhere on the blog but I’ve said in much these words before: how can it be illegal to slip arsenic and other toxins into your child’s food… yet be completely legal to force them to breathe the same filth when you’re fully aware of the risks?

Yes, I’m a rampant anti-smoker. Yes, perhaps it’s selfish of me to be glad that they now can’t smoke in pubs, clubs and malls in many countries. But how on earth can anyone attempt to justify something that causes nothing but ill health? And worse, not just to themselves but to everyone around them?

We don’t care how religious you are, we still don’t trust you

A news article today tells that the Pope cannot be greeted by Sikhs at an interfaith meeting in the US as part of their ceremonial dress is a small dagger (called a kirpaan). Because obviously they’ll try to gut him in full public view.

It’s simple to figure out why the US security services won’t let them do so. They’re coloured and wear turbans and have beards so they’re all terrorists. I bet they’d not have a problem with a contingent of traditionally-dressed Scots making their way over, armed with nothing but kilts, penises to make any American woman quake and a Sgian Dubhs. As long as they were clean-shaven, bare-headed and didn’t have a strong suntan.

"We apply our security policy consistently and fairly," said some guy in a black suit. Yup – if you’re an A-rab then you’re presumed guilty until someone wraps you in an orange jumpsuit and half-drowns you. And then they find you guilty because you’ll say anything to get the large man in the khakis from stomping on your testicles again.

UK Government in Illegal Activity Shocker

Or not so shocking given how corrupt the whole ******* lot of them are. It seems they just bribed a bank employee in Lichtenstein with an undisclosed fee (guessed at by reporters as half a million pounds). In exchange for the reddies, the dirty bugger has coughed up a load of information on accounts held by British citizens so that HMRC can then chase them for taxes "to which it is entitled".

They are also quoted as saying that it was seeking “to protect the UK exchequer from those who seek to hide behind secrecy laws”. So, let’s get this straight – they’re saying with that last sentence that they’re aware laws exist, and they ignored (and let’s face it, broke) those laws to get information to which they were not entitled.

Now, excuse me if I put my amateur lawman’s hat on here… but isn’t information gained by unlawful means inadmissible in court? Which means that can’t then legally challenge these individuals for the tax they "owe"? Ever. From my viewpoint, they’ve effectively screwed up any hope they have of charging these people with tax evasion as they now have all the information they required… but illegally. There is no more information they can obtain, all they have is tainted and unuseable… so they’ve done these people a massive favour and set their minds at ease as they’re not safe from prosecution.

I also resent the “to which it is entitled” bit. As a citizen of the UK I feel I’m entitled to a working NHS; to a police force that has the power to prosecute criminals and put them away instead of letting them out after 14 days; to my own privacy; to feel safe walking the streets; to a world-class education system from infant to degree level at no charge; to be able to see a doctor at a time that is convenient to me; likewise a dentist; to have people running my country who don’t give all the cushy tax-dodging jobs to their friends and relatives…

Nothing unreasonable there. I don’t feel that I’m getting any of that. In fact, we seem to be paying more taxes for less return than we ever have in the past. So I say "**** you, UK government" and I’ll be seriously looking for the other two states which class as "uncooperative tax havens" should I ever earn a decent wage.

Assuming I don’t just bugger off to another country where I feel I’m getting better value from the party in power.

Newsround and kitties

Oh, a few little titbits to get my teeth into today. First, though, my own news. Anni has found homes for both the cats, though it has involved splitting them up. Ed has gone to one of her friends who already has two cats. The eldest is blind, so harmless and the other gave it a bit of the old posturing (Ed tried, but it’s hard to make your tail bristle when you don’t have one) before they settled down and just ignored each other.

Anni then had a brainwave. Another friend of hers had recently had their cat – who they’d doted over – put down. It was black and white with long hair and loved attention… pretty much like KK these days! So she offered KK up, and it took them less than an hour to say “yes”.

Chances are I won’t see the cats again. I certainly can’t take them from their new homes after their umpteenth move. But I’m happy in the knowledge they’re both going to be well cared for. I just hope they don’t miss each other as much as I miss them. And it does leave me free to start the cycle over again should I ever settle my arse down somewhere.

And onto the headlines that have pissed me offcaught my eye today. First up, tales that the government are toying with ditching GCSE oral examinations in foreign languages as they’re "too stressful" for the little darlings.

For ****’s sake. Frankly. They’ve already made the examinations in maths and science so easy that anyone with a TV addiction to 15 to 1 or Weakest Link stands a chance of a C-grade or better. But to remove the oral exam from a foreign language course? Madness!

As for stressful? It’s a ******* exam, of course it’s stressful. So is a written exam if you care about the result. So is a driving test. So is a job interview. Of course, at this rate none of the GCSE candidates will have one of those to worry about as they’ll all be too ******* thick and under qualified to be accepted for one.

One quote states that "whilst accurate in its awards against performance on the day, is not a reliable test of the candidates’ capability". So what they’re saying is that the exam result is only an indication of how good someone was at the subject at the point in time they sat the test itself. So… like any exam, then? be it Chemistry, Geography, a driving test, that job interview or the pub quiz on a Thursday night? Sometimes you have a shitter. The aim is to be good enough that it doesn’t happen very often.

The aim of learning a language is to be able to communicate. If you can’t manage for 10 minutes with an examiner covering specific areas of the language you’ve been learning for 2 years and a fair idea of what the exam with consist of, then how the **** can you expect someone to handle being dropped into the country in question and dealing with a native speaker in a real-world situation?

And on to some good news. It seems that the plan to play a 39th Premiership game a season outside of the UK is "in tatters". Thanks **** for that. Stupid bloody idea in the first place. Exhibition matches, fine if you can be bothered – but we already have them.

Quite a few teams take part in mini-tournaments abroad during the pre-season. I know Newcastle have done it, Everton I recall recently, as well as ManUre and Chelski. These tournaments usually involve a host team and another three from other countries so provides a real draw for the local fans. Their own team against big names from other countries. Do we really need to have League-sanctioned exhibition games as well?

Final story is about the suicide bombs in Afghanistan earlier today. The obvious finger is being pointed at the Taleban, but I think they could be mistaken this time.

The people killed were attending a dog fighting rally. There’s every possibility it could be the Animal Liberation Front or whatever the Arab world’s version of the militant RSPCA is. Personally, I’d happily kick **** out of anyone sick enough to go and watch dogfighting. OK, blowing them up may be a bit extreme (did any of the dogs get killed?) but they definitely deserve having their teeth fed to them.