Category: Football

King Kev II

Kev - the Return
Kev - the Return

I can’t link to any news articles as none have been published yet… but King Kev is back in the Toon!

I honestly don’t know how I feel about this. The football we played under him all those years ago was certainly the best in living memory, and he’s the last manager (aside from Bobby) in many years who didn’t leave under a cloud. There’s no doubting that pretty much every Magpie loves the guy.

Yet the Premiership has moved on. Back then, we were a rarity in having a manager like him coupled with a rich, spend-happy chairman. Now that’s almost par for the course. Plus it’ll take him at least till the start of next season to gather us up a squad of his own to play that type of football – unless he can find 15-16 Bosmans.

I look forward to seeing what his contract conditions are, and the term he’s signed up for. Not that those kind of things count for **** these days. Do I sound less than excited? I guess it’s just the way things have gone over recent years – I’m not prepared to build myself up for another fall.

Fingers crossed for now. And at least he’s a welcome signing. We know the guy, we like him and that at the very least will get the Geordie crowd behind us again.

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Complete drivel

Just to prove a point – Redknapp is completely full of ****. He’s proclaiming that Shearer would be the ideal candidate to take on the NUFC job (perhaps alongside another more experienced figure), but that’s garbage. You can’t have two managers – you’d have a manager and an assistant, as England did. You can’t put him in at the deep end.

OK, one of his quotes ("Experience doesn’t matter – he understands football") makes some kind of sense in a passionate way, but from a tactical and commonsense viewpoint is absolutely whacky. Yes, any Newcastle fan would love to see Shearer take the helm… but only if it’s for the best for the club – and right now it simply wouldn’t be. It’d be a glory signing, like having a **** run then taking on a world-class striker to prove that you’re not that awful after all. It wouldn’t last.

The quote that proves Harry has absolutely lost the plot is the following:

"(Sunderland manager) Roy Keane hasn’t got the experience and he knows what he’s doing. He’s different class and he’s going right to the top."

One look at the league tables proves that this is total, utter, complete gobshite. Keane is going to relegate the mackems far sooner than he’s going to lead them to silverware of any shape or form. This isn’t a personal strike at the cheating Irish thug or the bunch of inbred windowlickers he manages – I’d say the same if Harry was talking about (random choices) Peter Beardsley managing Spurs if they were in 18th position with 20 points from 22 games. Top? Top of what? He’s not even bad enough to top the table of worst managers Sunderland have ever had (stand up Mr McCarthy, and your 2nd-worst football league none-winning streak / worst top flight points total record).

And I can’t believe I agree with John Hall on something.

Read the rest of Harry’s mental breakdown at BBC Sport.

Thank ****

Redknapp refuses Newcastle role.

’nuff said.

OK. Maybe not.

“Redknapp was Newcastle’s number one choice”: horse-****. He was the board’s number one choice. Obviously as they asked him and nobody else.

“Redknapp, 60, was immediately installed as favourite to take over at St James’ Park”: let’s make this clear as “bookies’ favourite”. He certainly wasn’t favourite amongst any of the fans or websites I know.

No offence to Harry. He’s a great bloke to watch on telly (not BBC, as he won’t talk to them), but he regularly gives entertaining interviews and he’s about as honest as they come (erm… except regarding transfers and stuff but that’s to be decided in court). However, he’s won nothing with Pompey and relegated Southampton in the last few years. Not the kind of quality we’re looking for.

You could trust me as well, David

David Beckham has announced that he’d trust three of this friends with his wife, even if she was naked. Just for the record, he could trust me as well.

Is it my respect for him as a certified actor? No. See his stilted turn in Goal! and wonder why the rain forests are vanishing when we have such a vast quantity of wood so readily available.

Perhaps it’s the fact that he has captained my national squad to footballing glory? Well, no. We’ve not won **** for years and the best thing he’s done for England recently was to retire. The worst thing (bar getting sent off 9 years ago) was to cmoe back out of retirement.

Actually, it’s simple. His wife’s a minger. I’d not touch her with someone else’s. If I saw her naked, I’d likely vomit only to be interrogated as to how I managed it without sticking my fingers down my through like the bulimic wench herself likely still does. The only reason for any contact between her and myself would be so I could hold her down and force some ******* food down her throat.

Incidentally, I have it on very good authority that she’s as bossy, annoying, selfish, ignorant and stupid as I always believed. Thing is, I can’t relay the story as it would get someone I know into (professional) trouble for passing it on.