Category: Uncategorised

As part of my World Trip thingy, I’m trying to raise a bit of awareness about other cultures and also about animals – in particular those that are endangered. In NZ, I’ve seen kiwi. In Thailand, I worked with tigers. I hope to get to Indonesia and see the Komodo Dragon. And when I return to NZ I should have a chance to see the very rare Kakapo parrot.

A friend of mine is taking part in a race in London soon, to raise money for the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund. These mountain gorillas are dying out. Quickly. They need all the help they can get and this charity has been running for many years and does fantastic work.

As such, I’m putting on my begging hat on behalf of Jess. Please, please check out the links below and if you can afford to then throw a few pennies her way via the sponsorship links.

In her own words:

“Mountain gorillas are almost the closest relatives we have, and they will die if we don’t help them.” – Douglas Adams

Click here http://www.leonardodicaprio.org/getinformed/videos.htm and scroll down to “Douglas Adams for the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund” to watch Douglas Adams talking about why we should act to save the gorillas.

I can’t pretend to be able to save them all on my own, but that’s no excuse for not doing what little I can.

To that end, on 24th September this year I will be taking part in The Great Gorilla Run – http://www.gorillas.org/articles/?id=22

Yes, I will be heading to London to run 7km dressed as a gorilla. If anyone would like to join me on the day, either to run as well or to stand and cheer me on, that would be fantastic. It would be even more fantastic if you could also sponsor me. I’ve got a sponsorship web page: http://www.justgiving.com/gorilla_jess and will also happily take sponsorship by post or in person (feel free to email me for my address).

I should be getting my gorilla suit any day now, at which point I will of course be taking silly photos. I even plan to do some of my training wearing the suit, which may well come as a shock to the gym where I work. I’ll keep everyone updated as to how it’s going!

Thanks to anyone who can help Jess… and the gorillas.

India-based call centres may well be a sack of ****, but if there’s one thing that Indian people do well, it’s deliver stuff – lunch inparticular.

Stupidly long working days. Physical slog. A strict schedule to keep to. And yet, in six million deliveries they make one mistake. One in six million.

Would someone kindly sack the useless fucktards in charge of the Post Office and give one of these guys the job instead?

After far too long, an archaic law banning national flags from being displayed is to be lifted. Believe it or not, if you had a flag on display during the World Cup, unless it was on a single flagpole then it was classed as “advertising” and you were breaking the law.

Of course, no councils ever act on these silly rules, do they?

Wrong.

Peterborough City Council threatened one family with prosecution for displaying two flags on angled poles (I assume that’s the photo on the article). They decided to back down and make an exception for “special occasions”. Wouldn’t it make more sense to just not have bothered in the first place? Who on earth thought they’d be able to push a prosecution through without massive public backlash?

All it would take would be one person on the council with an ounce of sense. But… that’s hardly likely to ever be the case in this day and age.

Or at least they’ve redefined “space” in the article leading with the headline Space tourists given the chance to take one giant leap into thin air.

Simple really – it’s space. There is no air in space. Thin or otherwise. In fact, it’s actually quite famous for this lack of air. One may even go so far as to say that space is famous for its airlessness.

I’m listening to The Rock online while I’m in Hanoi, and some of the adverts are somewhat… more adult than you’d get back home.

As well as the one featuring copious uses of the word “bugger” detailed on my travel blog, I’ve heard some corkers over the last two days. Starting with one for an escort service’s web page where you can see all the munters… I mean “girls” before you hire one to suck you off. Allegedly. OK, you hire one to accompany you on a night out because you’re a social failure, then slip her an extra $100 to suck you off later in the evening as an agreement between consenting adults, or something.

Then there was an ad for an adult store selling XXX DVDs for only $10 (I’ll be stocking up when I get back). Not something I think the Radio Authority would allow in the UK. After all, porn and heavy metal both corrupt children and turn them into bedwetting Satanists.

I should know.

The advert immediately after that one was for the White Cross. An emergency, 24-hour clap clinic. I **** you not. Nob doctors advertising on radio.

Final one was fairly humorour. I can’t remember the exact lines, but it was along the lines of:

FX: grunt, squeak, squeak
Male: Argh, oh yes!
Female: *sigh*
Announcer: Are you a 40-second Freddy? Let us do weird things to your penis and you’ll be a 40-minute Freddy instead!
FX: grunt, squeak, squeak, squeak
Male: Are you ready yet?
Female: Oh, I’ve been past ready for ages, Freddy! You’re amazing!

I mean, for ****’s sake…