Category: Uncategorised

Warning of another possible haitus, folks. I have a very busy last few days with SoftSols coming up, plus a couple of trips around the country to see people:

Thu 6th – Spalding, Lincs

Fri 7th – Spalding, Lincs

Sat 8th – Night out in Durham

Sun 9th – Day of rest

Mon 10th – Drive to Kent

Tue 11th – Tilmanstone

Wed 12th – Tilmanstone

Thu 13th – Reading

Fri 14th – Swansea

Sat 15th – Newcastle for footie (Southampton), Chester for night out

Sun 16th – Travel to Spalding in evening

Mon 17th – Spalding, Lincs

Tue 18th – Office (am) / Pub (pm)

Wed 19th – Recover from hangover

Thu 20th – New job

Fri 21st – New job

Sat 22nd – Travel to London

Sun 23rd – Arsenal away game

Mon 24th – Napalm Death, Camden Underworld

Tue 25th – Travel home

So I’ll have to see how much time I have to do posts! Also, anyone who uses my work number to get hold of me (07810…), please start to phase it out as I’m giving that phone back on the 19th. If you don’t know my personal number and you want it, then please just ask.

I was just working out roughly how many miles this is (about 2000, give or take) and spotted a small anomoly in Autoroute. It reckons the best route from Swansea to Bradford is to get the ferry to Cork, drive to Dublin and get another ferry over to North Wales. Erm.

Also, despite it being Autoroute UK, if you enter a place name that exists outside the UK it seems to put that at the top of the choice of locations you want to drive to. Seeing as the US has ripped off half of our bloody town names, this can be rather annoying. And the bloody Aussies.

Mrs ratboy spoke to me when I got in from work, asking if I’d heard anything last night. Well, the last time I heard things from that house it sounded like someone had left the volume up full on Hard-Core-Porn-O-Vision, so I asked exactly what she meant.

Turns out that ratboy’s dad’s car had been broken in to round the back of the house, in the “secure” area. Well, it’s secure in that you can’t drive the car out of it because of the gates, but people can still get in. These particular filth came from another part of the estate via a couple of fence panels that blew down in the winds the other night.

I have issues with this. Number one, they picked the wrong car – they should have gone for the shitty white car (ratboy’s) and number two, I wanted to trash his scummy motor myself. Needless to say, I’m not exactly sympathetic after the **** that pair have stirred around here. Granted, if I’d seen someone last night I’d have done all I could to stop/catch them, regardless of whose car they were after, but only out of instinct and trying to look out for my own (and Kim’s and Steve’s) stuff.

Besides, they did a crap job just smashing a window and mucking up the inside. They didn’t even nick anything, or slash the seats. ******* amateurs.

The cherry, though, was her comments about “******* scum off the estate or someone” doing it.

Pot.

Kettle.

Black.

I have determined through simple logical deduction and detective work that one of my work colleages is a potential danger to society and should be locked up and the key thrown away. I’ll not name her as she’d probably have me hunted down by her Al Quaida colleagues for grassing her up.

You see, she sells pirate DVDs. And all those adverts I see on TV, at the start of rental discs and at the cinema all tell me that people who sell dodgy DVDs and videos are only using it as a means to fund their other, more nefarious, crimes.

In all fairness, I’m not sure if it’s child porn, people-smuggling or international terrorism in which she’s involved. Either way, I’m a dead man if she finds out I’ve sussed her. Oh, why couldn’t I live in ignorance and just think she was trying to make a few quid before xmas? Why did the flipping film companies have to thrust this knowledge upon me? Ignorance was bliss.

Suffice to say, in the meantime I’ll just keep an eye on her. If at any point I see her slipping someone a small child wrapped in brown paper under the table in a dodgy pub, or walking down the street looking very bulky with curly wires sticking out from under her jacket I’ll bite the bullet and inform the police.

In all honesty I don’t see how she can use a couple of quid a time to buy huge piles of Semtex but these master criminals are clever people. Devious… but clever.

Someone I know has a few pups available as their dog has just given birth. I asked in the office a couple of weeks ago if anyone wanted one. One of the guys was interested until he found out they couldn’t leave their mother till February. A shame – he had some Korean friends over for xmas.

Puppies are great. When you put them in the freezer, they all huddle up and really maximise your storage space.

I meant to post this a while back, but according to the BBC women ‘still face glass ceiling’. Now, the only way I can see for someone to face a glass ceiling is to be lying on your back… I wish I had that option to be promoted.

I’m all for glass ceilings. As long as all the women working on the floor above are fit, go commando and wear miniskirts to work.