Angels, artists, adultery and (secret) agents

From Paris with Love (film)
From Paris with Love

A busy day at the cinema today as I played catchup on some films. Four in all – Legion, Exit Through the Gift Shop, Chloe and From Paris With Love. Three more tomorrow if I can fit them all in, too.

Legion

“Don’t be afraid. I just want to play with the baby.”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: God’s a bit bored with humanity so decides to wipe it out – but one angel stands in his way.

Legion is fine a simple B-movie kind of way. Paul Bettany is about as far away from his verbose Chaucer (A Knight’s Tale) as could be while still managing to be cool and rather scary as a fallen Michael.

The entire film, near as dammit, takes place in a diner in the middle of nowhere where a pregnant woman holds the fate of humanity in her womb. Why, we don’t know. Just that if her child survives then God is a bit screwed in his attempts to wipe our humanity.

Actually, virtually nothing is made clear over the length of the film. If God sent a flood the last time he got pissed off, why is he sticking to vulnerable possessed human bodies this time?

Basically, the whole film makes about as much sense as the British legal system. Luckily it manages to be slightly more entertaining. Not bad if you switch your brain into neutral.

Exit Through the Gift Shop

Plot-in-a-nutshell: Mad video cameraman becomes mad artist

Rhys Ifans narrates this rather unusual documentary about a documentary about street art. The central character is one Thierry Guetta – who goes on to become Mr Brainwash, an artist who takes his inspiration from street art and makes a mint. He did the cover art for Madonna’s Great Hits a couple of years ago, doncha know.

Guetta begins as a compulsive cameraman with thousands of hours of footage of street artists at work. This he gains by telling them he’s filming a documentary. Which never existed. Frankly, the guy’s a nutter – but one who takes gambles that seem to pay off.

The film follows his adventures in getting this footage and then his own leap into the world of art.

Star of the show, though, is Banksy who Guetta befriended. As well as being quite a talented and controversial artist, the man has the most perfect comic timing. I think pretty much every one of his lines raised a laugh in the audience.

Not your normal cinema fare, but a very watchable documentary on a fairly contentious subject.

Chloe

Plot-in-a-nutshell: A woman suspects her husband of infidelity and hires a prostitute to see if he really is straying. With disastrous consequences.

I’ve never seen Fatal Attraction but I have a feeling this has pinched a bit from the basic plotline. Catherine (Julianne Moore) has an inkling that that her hubby (Liam Neeson) is cheating on her when he “misses a flight” home from work one weekend. In a bid to test him she hires a prostitute, Chloe (a very hot Amanda Seyfried), to approach him and see if he is prepared to stray.

Of course, it gets complicated.

Now it’s fairly predictable even if the acting’s OK. And the ending is a little bit of an “easy out”. But at least there’s a rather hot sex scene which did keep me awake for a minute or two. Hey, I have two little dogs sleeping in my bedroom at the minute. One of them snores and they both wake up at 6:30am.

This isn’t a classic but I’ve seen worse films of this type.

From Paris With Love

“Now tell me that’s not some impressive ****.”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: government worker gets dragged into “proper” secret agent work with his new less-than-mild-mannered partner.

Remember when you first saw Lethal Weapon? They way your straight-laced police officer partnered so well with a psycho? That magic is actually back (unlike the attempt they made with LW4) with John Travolta‘s latest effort.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers is James Reece, a diplomatic aide with aspirations to become a “proper” agent. His chance comes with the arrival of Wax (Travolta) on the trail of some drug pedlars and terrorists. Oh, and it’s set in Paris hence the title. And the nice scenery. And the excellent car chases.

Yes, I have decided that the best car chase scenes all seem to be in European films. Sure, the American ones are bigger but can you top the class of the likes of The Transporter, Ronin or The Italian Job (original version)? Trust me, you can’t. It’s my blog and I’m right.

Travolta is both utterly mad and incredibly cool. He swears a lot. He fires big guns. A lot. And he kicks much ass. While swearing. Profusely.

From Paris is the best kind of buddy/buddy action film. Utterly over the top, pretty violent, action packed, stereotype bad guys, throwaway lines and cracking dialogue. Oh, and a great reference to Pulp Fiction. Just as an extra.

Perfect popcorn viewing.

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Sweep of film reviews

I’ve watched a fair bit here in Bangkok as the cinemas are both cheap and very good. I also can’t be bothered writing full reviews for all of them so here’s a quick run-down of the four I’ve seen in the last week.

Public Enemies

Johnny Depp struggles not to remind you of Captain Jack Sparrow in this gangster flick set in the mid-1930’s. He almost gets away with it as well. How closely it tells the true story of John Dillinger I couldn’t say, but the period settings and so forth are beautiful.

It is without a doubt a good looking film with a respectable cast. However, the story just didn’t grip me and I found it a little hard to follow in places. Not as good as I was expecting, but I’m sure others would enjoy it a lot more.

The Taking of Pelham 123 (2009)

A remake of a film based on a book. Who says Hollywood is short of ideas? It’s a simple enough plot – a subway car and its passengers are taken hostage under New York City by a rather insane John Travolta. Denzel Washington, as a city worker, tries to do the hostage negotiation thing.

Simple plot, simple film. Nothing’s really a surprise although the story has been brought up to date to include modern technology. I can’t recall the original 1974 version too well, but I would like to compare the two. I have a feeling it was a far more taut thriller.

Nothing wrong with the performances in this one, but it’s still a little vapid and had a really weak and sudden ending.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (IMAX 3D)

I’ve enjoyed the Harry Potter films up till now, much as I enjoyed the books up till this one. In this regard, the films are now better. This was the first of the original novels I didn’t like – over-publicised, over-long and the ridiculous “leak” about a major character dying had someone carking it in every second chapter. And then being resuscitated, or discovered to be a shape-shifter or something. Bunkum.

As a result of the book’s size, a lot has been stripped out which gets rid of some of the unnecessary padding. The cast have improved with age and the series simply must have every single good British actor ever to tread the boards in it.

The one thing is that as a result of the stripping, you finish the viewing feeling like this was just the opening for the grand finale. I mean, it is. But that sensation is just a little too much. You expect to see “to be continued after the news” instead of closing credits. No bad thing, in a way, as it’s left me gasping for the final instalments (the last book is being split into two films).

A word on the IMAX 3D experience, though. And that word is: WOW. Only the first 15 minutes are in 3D, but they are staggering. Absolutely staggering. Simply the best 3D I have ever seen at a cinema. It’s just a crying shame that the whole film couldn’t be rendered in this way. I assume it’s a cost thing – maybe one day.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Oh, this is a silly one. It’s as comic book as you can get and utterly, totally, sublimely ridiculous. Never before has the phrase “leave your brain at the door” been more apt. You can tell it’s by the director of the Mummy films simply from the insane amount of half-cocked CGI that’s been used. But the thing is, you don’t care.

For every shonky “cartoon motorbike” there’s a collapsing Eiffel Tower. For every “heat-haze to disguise the rush job” there’s a kick-ass fight scene. For every horrendous piece of acting (Christopher Ecclestone – you should be ashamed of that “accent”) there’s a phenomenal pair of boobs to stare at to make up for it (Sienna Miller and Rachel Nichols just made my “must do when I’m incredibly rich and famous” list).

From what I gather, if you’re a fan of the comics then it will hurt you to watch this film in the same way that Sylvester Stallone‘s Judge Dredd made me whimper and want to drive nails into my own head. However, for the rest of us it’s an eye-opening, ridiculous, explosion-filled piece of pure sugar-coated entertainment.

Utter crap. But in such a great way.

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