Tag: Paul Bettany

Priest 3D / Attack the Block

By إبن البيطار (Own work) [GFDL (www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0 (www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia CommonsSomehow I stayed awake enough to catch two films this week. Partly as the second one was so entertaining.

Priest 3D

“Though I walk through the valley of…” *yawn*

See it if you like: wearing stupid glasses for no apparent reason and listening to actors whisper rather than talk properly.

Plot-in-a-nutshell: deposed cleric dusts off the cruciform shuriken to kick vampire ass – against the Church’s wishes.

Oh dear. We saw this one because Gillian has a thing for Paul Bettany. Yes, I’m blaming her for this one. Completely. Not that I’d have avoided it had I been on my own with my Cineworld Unlimited card, but then I’d have been blaming myself. Priest isn’t that good.

Something happens. People get on bikes and drive to the next place. Something happens. Bikes. Something… etc. Bettany isn’t even that good and I usually like him. The visuals are OK and the basic plot acceptable, but the whole thing just doesn’t hang together very well.

The single worst thing about it, though, is the compulsory 3D. I’m sorry, but I’m going to rail about this again. While I appreciate that someone in an office has decided that 3D is the new way forward, Priest is a prime example of why it shouldn’t be. In huge portions of the film, the 3D levels “nearest” you move. The background 3D moves. But there was a constant stationary layer which just “stuck” there and made viewing the film actually uncomfortable.

In its favour, the film isn’t too long coming in at 80-some minutes plus credits. This is a good thing as it is essentially just a string of effects scenes. Lots of clichés abound, and enough physics ignored to last an entire series of Mythbusters. I’m no mechanic, but I’m fairly sure that electric engines won’t go any faster if you squirt nitro into them.

There are better films out. Go and see one of them instead. Like…

Attack the Block

“This is too much madness for just one text!”

See this if you like: low budget horror, kids swearing and fluorescent teeth.

Plot-in-a-nutshell: asteroids bring big-toothed ETs to earth in a dodgy part of London – and they certainly don’t come in peace.

Now this is more like it. A low-budget British effort with a very young, inexperienced cast which manages not to be painful to watch. Despite a slightly shaky start with some dodgy acting and effects, the film swiftly gets going as the big, bad aliens arrive – all glowy teeth and policeman-rending claws.

Like Priest, it’s not a long film but it fills its length with far more entertainment. And it’s not in bloody 3D.

The only actor I recognised was Nick Frost, who plays a rather dodgy drug dealer. Pretty much everyone else is a teenager, tooled up with the random weapons you’d expect any child thug to have to hand with which to fight huge scary beasties.

There are some genuinely funny moments, quite a few jumps and a couple of cringes from the early dialogue. The film does get better as it goes on, and doesn’t outstay its welcome. There aren’t any real surprises, but one benefit of an unknown cast is that you never really know who’s going to get “offed” and when. Enjoy this luxury!

Definitely worth a look. Support the British film industry, seeing as our government can’t be arsed.

Related articles
Enhanced by Zemanta

Monsters / The Tourist

Gill and I popped over for our hopefully-now-regular two-film shift in Glasgow on Friday night. The timings of the performances gave us the following as out best choices for the evening:

Monsters

Plot-in-a-nutshell: Boy meets girl and must travel through alien-infested jungle to get her safely home to dad. Only without many aliens.

Just to clarify something – Monsters is not actually a monster film as such. It’s a film that sets itself around an environment where monsters are present, but is very much a road movie – a film about the two main characters making a journey from A-B. So for those you you disappointed with the lack of disembowellings and big jumpy shocks, don’t say you weren’t warned.

This is cheap film-making at its best. Written and directed by Gareth Edwards, he made the entire thing for around £500,000. This is tiny compared to most Hollywood efforts, despite having a solid (if small) cast and excellent special effects. Every set used is a real building. Every outdoor scene is really outdoors. No special builds were used. The majority of people in the film are just locals who were kicking about. The film crew consisted of two people, as does the central cast.

Best of all, it a) works and b) doesn’t look like it cost so little.

Scoot McNairy and Whitley Able play Andrew and Samantha, thrown together when Andrew’s boss demand that he get his daughter back to the U.S. They’re both in Mexico, and the land between the two countries is classed as an “Infected Zone”, harbouring aliens brought back to earth by a crashed space probe.

On the way they encounter corrupt officials, thieves, friendly locals, guns for hire and – yes – some monsters/aliens. Rather than going for the “big jumpy out” type of creatures, Edwards has instead opted for a sense of “what’s happening next?” which is far better. Most people haven’t seen these aliens except on television, so the characters are torn between fear and curiosity in places.

I would not say this is the best road movie or alien movie ever made. However, I would recommend watching it as it’s fantastic proof that an entertaining and gripping film doesn’t need a budget well into the millions.

The Tourist

“”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: A case of mistaken identity leads an innocent tourist into being mistaken for an international fraudster. But he does get to snog Angelina Jolie, so that’s OK.

I wanted to see this for the humour in the trailer. Gill wanted to see it so she could drool over Johnny Depp. And Angelina Jolie. Strange girl. Anyway.

I saw enough of the trailer to think I wanted to see this, but I have a feeling a lot of the jokes and action are in there. However, it’s still a great ninety minutes or so of pure cinematic candy floss. Don’t take it too seriously and you’ll enjoy it.

Elise (Jolie) is the girlfriend of the accountant of a gangster who’s done a runner with a couple of billion dollars. She receives a note – jump on a train, find someone who kind of looks like me and make the police believe that is me. Said accountant has had $20m worth of plastic surgery so nobody knows what he looks like. The idea is to throw police (including Paul Bettany‘s tenacious Inspector) and gangsters (led by Reginald Shaw, played by Steven Berkoff) off the scent so that the two can meet properly and make their escape into obscurity.

But that would be too easy. Instead, Elise falls for Frank (the tourist) and worries about what could happen to him if the police or gangsters get hold of him. So we have Elise caught between trying to catch up with her man while trying to rescue the other chap she dragged into the situation.

It’s all very silly, but fun. Jolie is quite sexy (I’ll be honest – I’m not normally a huge fan), Depp is airheaded and panicky, Battany is tenacious and Berkoff is a bastard. With the lovely setting of Venice, it makes for an interesting little movie that’s a worthwhile way to spend part of your evening.

Don’t expect a classic, but do expect to enjoy it. The crowd in the cinema (a near sell-out) were laughing out loud at some of the dialogue. It’s not too often that happens these days.

Related articles
Enhanced by Zemanta

Angels, artists, adultery and (secret) agents

From Paris with Love (film)
From Paris with Love

A busy day at the cinema today as I played catchup on some films. Four in all – Legion, Exit Through the Gift Shop, Chloe and From Paris With Love. Three more tomorrow if I can fit them all in, too.

Legion

“Don’t be afraid. I just want to play with the baby.”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: God’s a bit bored with humanity so decides to wipe it out – but one angel stands in his way.

Legion is fine a simple B-movie kind of way. Paul Bettany is about as far away from his verbose Chaucer (A Knight’s Tale) as could be while still managing to be cool and rather scary as a fallen Michael.

The entire film, near as dammit, takes place in a diner in the middle of nowhere where a pregnant woman holds the fate of humanity in her womb. Why, we don’t know. Just that if her child survives then God is a bit screwed in his attempts to wipe our humanity.

Actually, virtually nothing is made clear over the length of the film. If God sent a flood the last time he got pissed off, why is he sticking to vulnerable possessed human bodies this time?

Basically, the whole film makes about as much sense as the British legal system. Luckily it manages to be slightly more entertaining. Not bad if you switch your brain into neutral.

Exit Through the Gift Shop

Plot-in-a-nutshell: Mad video cameraman becomes mad artist

Rhys Ifans narrates this rather unusual documentary about a documentary about street art. The central character is one Thierry Guetta – who goes on to become Mr Brainwash, an artist who takes his inspiration from street art and makes a mint. He did the cover art for Madonna’s Great Hits a couple of years ago, doncha know.

Guetta begins as a compulsive cameraman with thousands of hours of footage of street artists at work. This he gains by telling them he’s filming a documentary. Which never existed. Frankly, the guy’s a nutter – but one who takes gambles that seem to pay off.

The film follows his adventures in getting this footage and then his own leap into the world of art.

Star of the show, though, is Banksy who Guetta befriended. As well as being quite a talented and controversial artist, the man has the most perfect comic timing. I think pretty much every one of his lines raised a laugh in the audience.

Not your normal cinema fare, but a very watchable documentary on a fairly contentious subject.

Chloe

Plot-in-a-nutshell: A woman suspects her husband of infidelity and hires a prostitute to see if he really is straying. With disastrous consequences.

I’ve never seen Fatal Attraction but I have a feeling this has pinched a bit from the basic plotline. Catherine (Julianne Moore) has an inkling that that her hubby (Liam Neeson) is cheating on her when he “misses a flight” home from work one weekend. In a bid to test him she hires a prostitute, Chloe (a very hot Amanda Seyfried), to approach him and see if he is prepared to stray.

Of course, it gets complicated.

Now it’s fairly predictable even if the acting’s OK. And the ending is a little bit of an “easy out”. But at least there’s a rather hot sex scene which did keep me awake for a minute or two. Hey, I have two little dogs sleeping in my bedroom at the minute. One of them snores and they both wake up at 6:30am.

This isn’t a classic but I’ve seen worse films of this type.

From Paris With Love

“Now tell me that’s not some impressive ****.”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: government worker gets dragged into “proper” secret agent work with his new less-than-mild-mannered partner.

Remember when you first saw Lethal Weapon? They way your straight-laced police officer partnered so well with a psycho? That magic is actually back (unlike the attempt they made with LW4) with John Travolta‘s latest effort.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers is James Reece, a diplomatic aide with aspirations to become a “proper” agent. His chance comes with the arrival of Wax (Travolta) on the trail of some drug pedlars and terrorists. Oh, and it’s set in Paris hence the title. And the nice scenery. And the excellent car chases.

Yes, I have decided that the best car chase scenes all seem to be in European films. Sure, the American ones are bigger but can you top the class of the likes of The Transporter, Ronin or The Italian Job (original version)? Trust me, you can’t. It’s my blog and I’m right.

Travolta is both utterly mad and incredibly cool. He swears a lot. He fires big guns. A lot. And he kicks much ass. While swearing. Profusely.

From Paris is the best kind of buddy/buddy action film. Utterly over the top, pretty violent, action packed, stereotype bad guys, throwaway lines and cracking dialogue. Oh, and a great reference to Pulp Fiction. Just as an extra.

Perfect popcorn viewing.

Related articles by Zemanta
Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

Film Thursday

Pandorum
Pandorum

Due to unforeseen technical hiccups (i.e. Cineworld’s web site lying to me) there are only three films reviewed today. I was also hoping to see Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs but the performance I scheduled into my little planner didn’t exist. Grr.

Zombieland

A film with titles being displayed to the backing music of Metallica’s For Whom The Bell Tolls obviously has something going for it. When those titles are put together with imagination and a touch of humour, as well as some nice little technical bits’n’bobs you do feel your in the hands of a good film-maker.

And such is Zombieland.

Plot-in-a-nutshell: Man eats burger with mutant strain of mad cow in it and starts zombie plague. Lone teenager hooks up with mad psycho to travel cross country. Bonding and blood-letting occur.

This is a rare film these days. One that’s actually even better than the trailer suggests. There’s an added depth to it, particularly towards the end, that isn’t even hinted at in the previews. My one disappointment is that some of the gags are *BAM* slapstick and if you’ve seen those trailers then it does spoil a little of the humour.

There’s an awesome cameo about two thirds in and some lovely grisly moments. The CGI does look a little CGI-ish – the blood spurts and so forth are very recognisable as effects – but it works on a cartoony level, which is ideal for this film. I also loved the use of computer graphics over the film at points, detailing the rules of surviving the apocalypse.

If you can handle gore, then this is definitely worth the entry money.

Pandorum

I wasn’t really sure what to expect with this one, though I originally thought the trailer was for a film version of the video game Dead Space. It has that feel to it. However, it turned out to be a mix of horror, sci-fi and thriller.

Plot-in-a-nutshell: Two crew members wake up on a seemingly uninhabited space ship. Where are the rest of the crew? What are they supposed to be doing? Why is the place falling apart?

Pandorum falls into a few stereotypical pit-traps of this genre. The most annoying is using loud screeching noises to induce trouser-browning jumps. OK, that’s just me because I’m a wuss. Towards the end as the plot starts to come together and characters are revealed, the director has also gone a little ape with the effects and causes a few strained eye muscles. Sometimes less is more!

The plot isn’t that bad, either. I didn’t think it would stretch beyond a poor man’s Alien, but an extra depth is found and it works quite well. A small cast (barring monsters – yes, there are monsters… no spoiler) and some nicely claustrophobic moments keep the movie plot-focussed. Any action sequences are generally tense rather than overblown.

Although hardly mind-taxing, it’s a good enough film and – like Zombieland – better than I was expecting. I gather some reviews are slating it which is a shame. It’s in a genre that has had a handful of classics and a lot of crap. To its credit, Pandorum does look down on the crap from a fair height.

Creation

Not so much banned in the US as finding it hard to get a distributor due to the fact it’s about a man who said that God didn’t exist, this is a classy piece part-made by the BBC.

Plot-in-a-nutshell: This is the story of one Charles Darwin, author of On The Origin of Species. Go read some books and learn something, kids. And not that one the men in church try to force on you.

The thing is, the film doesn’t exactly rock any boats. Nor does it say that Darwin was right or wrong. It’s focusses on Darwin as a person and the effects that his writing and the death of his daughter had on him and his family. It speaks volumes that distributors in America are scared of the reaction of religious nutjobs to such a harmless piece of film-making.

It is lovingly made, however, and the acting is simply superb. Costume drama with out the overacting that sometimes engenders this genre. Paul Bettany is simply superb in the lead role and even the children are amongst the best you’ll see in cinema.

Rather than being a 108-minute crusade against the church, it is a carefully structured piece about a family. At the core of it, it’s a superb example of how a family can go through some incredibly trying times and yet still hold together. Were it about anyone who hadn’t upset them, churches would likely be citing it as perfect non-offensive entertainment.

Related articles by Zemanta
Reblog this post [with Zemanta]