Just to give you an idea of what your baby is really saying when all you think is that they’re screaming their head off for no apparent reason.
You: No, you can’t have it.
Baby: But I want it!
You: No. No. Daddy’s.
Baby: WANT!
You: OK, you can hold it. But it’s not for eating.
Baby: As if I’d listen to you.
You: There, see? No, not in the mouth!
Baby: I told you I was going to try to eat it. Don’t you listen to me? Dude, I’ll try to eat anything.
You: You can’t eat a banana with the skin still on, silly.
Baby: Who are you calling silly? I’m a baby. I don’t know any different. This thing tastes horrible, by the way. Who lets a baby stick a damn unpeeled banana in their mouth? You’re the idiot.
THIS IS DEVASTATING MY WORLD HAS ENDED NOOOOOooooh you are blowing raspberries on my tummy AHAHAAAA I AM ALL SMILES AND RAINBOWS
Amazing what these little wails and screams can translate as. Another favourite is:
“I have just laid the world’s smelliest poo and am so looking forward to you smearing it over the back of your hand as you try to clean me.”