Just a couple of things that are a little too long to be posted in the 140 characters that Twitter allows. The silly bird-based website has become my outlet for a lot recently.


You can tell you’re getting old when your film references fall flat. Being near an ill person, I held out a paper cup and said “If you’re going to spew… spew into this!” and was met by a completely blank stare.

It was at this point I realised I am at university with people who had only just stopped crapping their own nappies when Wayne’s World was out. For some reason this scares me.

The cold

I am overjoyed at getting onto my first choice of “additional module” next term – Teaching in the Outdoors. I actually get to go hiking and stuff as part of my course.

Of course, I reckoned without the fact that I’m studying in Scotland. And this will be January-February. I will, therefore, freeze my knackers off.

I may invest in thermals. And a large hip flask.

Other stuff

I’m glad to say that everything else seems to be going swimmingly:

  • I just found out I get paid significantly more for my probationary year than I was expecting
  • My placements for next year could be in Perth which means staying with the ‘rents – and therefore being able to waste all the spare time I won’t have on my PS2 again
  • I start my first “proper” placement next week and I’m alternating between excited giggling and nervous pant-wetting
  • It appears there may be a new lady in my life. Await further announcements. Early, very tentative steps and no more as yet.

One may even go so far as to say *whoop*. But I’m an old crusty so I won’t.

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Welcome Sophie!

Artwork on this ball is a common abstract repr...
All smiley!

I was down south this past week (to Londoners, this doesn’t mean I went that far – right now to me anything “south” is latitudinally below Glasgow) and amongst others I caught up with were Chris, Lyds, Lucy and Anna-Louise.

I am overjoyed to announce that Lydia gave birth to a new poppet – Sophie – on Sunday night at around 21:34. She looks utterly gorgeous and the only reason I’m miffed is that she decided to wait until I was back home before she entered the world.

Enormous congratulations to the family and I’m sure she’s in great hands given how lovely her two sisters have turned out!

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I love Asda

Midget Gems
These look like fakes, too

Screw all you anti-global-hypermarket lot. I love Asda. And for one reason only. Check out their dirt cheap “Smart Price” Midget Gems. They look like the old Lion Ones. They’re almost (but not quite) as hard and chewy as the old Lion ones. They taste, not too far away from how the old Lion ones did. They’re about 30p a bag.

And the black ones are liquorice.

I’ve not bought any Lions ones since Maynards bought them out. The other colours in the Asda packets aren’t quite so good, but it’s a matter of principle. I could consider buying both and giving the Maynards black ones away, but I couldn’t force myself to spend money on them.

Fuck you, Maynards. Fuck you and your blackcurrant black Midget Gems (unless you buy them from jars or other trade-size containers). Asda’s where it’s at. I’ll be buying a basket-load of these next time I’m passing by.

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Cool blue

I just have to say a quick “thank you” to the beautiful Leah for the dinky birthday present she sent me last week. Blue, starry fairy lights. USB-powered blue, starry fairy lights. Seasonal and geeky!

I wish I had a camera. Not just to show you what they’re like dangling around my monitor, but to show you the office window from outside in the dark. While I’m sat here I don’t notice how bright they are. I only spotted last night that once the office lights are off, the whole rooms glows blue. From the street it looks like an alien abduction is taking place!

So thank you, Leah. You’ve helped brighten our office up! Nicely complimented by the pink snowflake screensaver on my Ubuntu laptop as well.

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Some typical alcoholic beverages.

I would like to introduce a new word into the English language (assuming I’ve not already been beaten to it):

Alcopoop (noun) – the thick, turgid yet also somehow sloppy and always sweet-smelling shit that you have to force out of an arsehole that seems too small the morning after an excessive intake of alcoholic beverages.

Yeah, I had a good night. Much alcohol was downed and I even had a birthday “dinner” at the hotel. All the staff signed a card for me (that I’ve lost – it’s in the hotel somewhere), sang “Happy Birthday” to me and then we went out and got trolleyed at Bar’Dup.

I’m not that bad, surprisingly. But my credit card is still in the pub. And has been since Friday.

Great present, though – a 3-0 away win at Portsmouth. A goal from birthday boy Michael Owen, and it turned out that a guy I was sat with in the pub also had his birthday yesterday. As did his flatmate! We got free Jagermeister shots from the bar.

I generally don’t “do” birthdays, but I had a cracker this year in part mainly to hanging out with a great bunch of people. Thanks to them all!

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