Vodafone fixed? I don’t know!

I just got a mail from Vodafone saying they’ve unlocked my account (but no explanation as to why it was locked in the first place). I logged in and… they’ve changed the site again. This time it gives me useful information and simple links to updating. An improvement.

It even lets me get tot he bit where I can add credit to my phone. Even better.

Then when I key in the details I get:

Unfortunately, your request cannot be processed.

We are currently unable to process your request as we are experiencing technical difficulties – please try again later or contact either by email, or by dialling 191 from your Vodafone phone.

AAAAARRRRGGGGGGGH.

UPDATE

I used another method of going through the site and it seems to have gone through. Mind, I’m checking my phone and the credit’s still not on there after 5 minutes…

UPDATED UPDATE

Finally, a year after their site last worked I can add credit via the interwebnet! How’s that for (******* abysmal) service?

Comedy

If revenge is a dish best served cold, what temperature should you serve funny at? Is it room temperature or does it depend on the type of funny?

I’d recommend satire as a dish best served lightly chilled, while ascerbic wit is much more suited to a mild grilling over an open flame before being served on a bed of steaming hot sarcasm.

Good riddance you pathetic pieces of thieving ****

****
****

Look at these faces. Would you let your daughter date a fuckwit who looked like that? I know if one put his arm around my child, he’s rapidly find it broken. They look like scum, don’t they? The kind of ******* who sit on street corners and annoy grandmothers, spit on Goths and smash up bus stops.

They’re also the kind of ***** who steal cars, get chased by the police then drive the wrong way up motorways to escape, ending in crashes which kill innocent people. These three are dead. And the one who survived and is being treated for injuries, I hope you’re crippled for life. Filth like you doesn’t deserve any better.

Scum and Filth
Scum and Filth

To the family of Mr and Mrs Stafford, the elderly couple that these ******** killed, I have nothing but the deepest sympathy. To the families of the ******* who did it, rest easy in the knowledge that at least they won’t be a burden to you any more. You’re better off without them.

The only disappointing thing is that only three of them bought the farm. I will cross my fingers and hope that at the very least they died screaming and in agony over the course of minutes or hours and not seconds.

Christopher Beresford, Sam Case and Lee Maggs – good ******* riddance. If I believed in Hell, I’d hope you were burning in it.

Vodafone are arse (again)

I’ve had problems with Vodafone in the past, even though I’ve been with them for years. “Better the devil you know” and all that. The first doozy was yonks ago when they tried to give me 6 months’ “freebies” on my contract instead of 12. Then they tried to extend my contract to an 18-month one when I’d agreed a 12-month. These are detailed waaaaay back before I started travelling here and here.

More recently, I had a nightmare in Oz – which I’ve not documented – where the Vodafone UK web page just stopped letting me top up. There’s no reason for this. It worked fine all the way through SE Asia and New Zealand but by the time I got to Oz it just wouldn’t let me. My phone was “already configured for a different account” or something – I forget the exact wording.

After about 5 messages to and fro (more than one of them involving them sending me steps to follow which exactly mirrors the list I’d sent them of how I arrived at the problem) they relents and gave me a fiver’s credit. This was after their initial suggestion of “get someone at home to buy a topup card and send you the code from it”. Very helpful.

How about “fix your ******* website, you ********”?

Anyway, I am now in Holland. The only means I have of contacting these lovely Couchsurfing people I’m staying with as I approach each city is to send them a quick text. Unless, in some cases, I’ve had the chance to email earlier and arrange a meeting place and rough time in which case I can call, let the phone ring and then hang up. This hasn’t always been possible. And if they call me to say there’s a problem, it costs me 75p. Not good when your credit stands at less than two quid.

So I decided to try again and see if Vodafone’s website is fixed. And now it’s telling me that my account is locked! So I went via their contact form twice. The first time I hit “Send” I was just returned to the front page. No confirmation of delivery so I tried again.

The form’s full of questions I can’t answer: home phone is a mandatory field. I have no home, nor a phone to put in it. If you don’t know your password/PIN then “method of payment” is also mandatory – even when you’ve indicated you’re a Pay As You Go customer! There’s no option for “TopUp Card”. What a bag of ****.

Anyway, second time around I got a confirmation email so I guess we’ll see…

The above method of payment is incorrect, but your web page (which has been broken for over a year now) doesn’t offer a relevant alternative. Also note that the “home” phone number is not mine – I do not have a landline and your site will not let me send the form without one.

I apologise if I’m mailing twice, but the page also gives no indication that a mail has been sent.

I am stuck in Holland with next to no credit on my phone. I can’t add credit (again) because your website is broken and now when I try to see if I can get it to work, I am told my account is locked.

Would someone kindly a) unlock my account and b) fix the thing so that I can add credit like I used to over a year ago? I went through all this mess some months ago with one of your staff who was unable to resolve it. His suggestion was to get someone in the UK to send me the code from a purchased topup card. The thing is, I have the feeling this means I am being *charged* for the call I have to make to top up!

Kindly resolve this ASAP as otherwise I am stuffed. I have no other means to contact people I am meant to be staying with in the short term.

If this is not resolved, I will be making a 3 or Orange shop one of my first stops when I return to the UK in a couple of weeks. 02 are the only network I’ve dealt with who seem to be worse than Vodafone.

Thank you.

He shoots, he scores! O2 are still *****, though.

Oh, and I noticed I am now top TWO on Google if you search for “O2 *****”. Anyway. Victory is mine!!!! Bwahahahaha!!!

Hello Iain,

Many thanks for your reply and bringing this matter to my attention. I have passed your comments onto my manager Nasrin Anwar who will look into this further.

We’re very sorry about the service you’ve received since your original communication on 30 August 2007. This is not our usual standard of service and I can assure we’ll do our very best to make sure this doesn’t happen again.

As a way of an apology, please can you let me know your address and I’ll be very happy to send you a cheque for £15 in respect of the difficulties and upset this has caused.

I’ve also passed your mobile number details again to our specialist team for it to be deleted from our records.

Again, please accept my sincere apologies and I do hope this hasn’t spoiled your holiday. If there’s anything else I can help you with, please let me know.

Kind regards,

Tracey