Cheers, Chris. You git. In some form of tag-meets-blog-meets-chain-email-thing, I’ve been “tagged” to task myself with five things to do withins some kind of random timeframe.
Thing is, I’ve done so flipping much in the last year or so it’s kinda hard to pick five! I’ll list things I do really want to do and fully expect to at some point, though I’m not sure when I’ll do them.
- “Tube” in Vang Vieng, Laos
- Learn to ride a moped/motorbike/dirtbike
- Visit all 50 US states and all 13 Canadian territories/provinces
- Get a book published. Any book. Even self-published online
- Have kids (there’s a long-term one…)
And because she said she’d go mental if anyone did it to her, I’m going to tag Talia. I am such a bastard. And I fancy getting slapped by a cute chick in a corset at Download.
Douglas Adams – it would mean he’s still alive, and he was also a complete geek. Plus I’d really like to have an argument with someone who’s utterly pro-Apple yet who I still have a lot of respect for.
Mary Whitehouse – I’d strap her in a chair Clockwork Orange-style and force her to watch hour after hour of hard-core German scatological animal porn until her brain melted out of her ears. Of course, I’d have to feed her if we were having dinner. Maybe some popcorn.
Lisa Tarbuck – because she just strikes me as being so much fun as well as being cute and sexy as all hell. She’s one of those rare women who I think I could have a great night out with and if I didn’t end up in bed with her… who cares? I just know we’d have a hell of a good night out anyway.
God – so I could tell him/her/it that I don’t believe in them and watch them vanish in a puff of logic. Or at least give him/her/it the chance to explain the mess our world’s in since the seem to have turned their back on us. I feel like a little villager in a game of Populous being played by a pre-teen with a mean streak.
My grandads – I don’t think I need to explain this one!
OK, this one’s been posted on Colin’s blog and it’s a little different, so…
Name a book you own that no-one else on your friends list does: I have tons, but I’ll avoid textbooks and dictionaries to make it difficult. OK, not quite a textbook, but nonfiction and an amusing read: “Why Do Buses Always Come In Threes?” by Rob Eastaway. I also have the follow-up. If I have to stick to fiction, then I’ll go for “Mosh – My Dream Cup Final With Newcastle United“. I will put money on the fact that nobody else has that one!
Name a movie you own on DVD/VHS/whatever that no-one else on your friends list does: Again, I went through a silly period at university and picked up any old crap for 50p. I’ll plump for Sewer Baby, a rather awful, no-budget “horror”.
Name a place that you have visited that no-one else on your friends list has: This one’s tricky as I pretty much only go places with people and those folks will most likely be amongst my group of mates. Hmm… Unless anyone cares to contradict me, I’ll say backstage at the Manchester Apollo with Sepultura.
OK, folks. Your turn(s). Answers on a postcard. No, sod that. Save the stamp. Just whack ’em in the comments.