Ryanair “puerile” according to OFT

2008/08/27 Ryanair Boeing 737-8AS EI-DCD
Not that cheap, definitely not cheerful

I don’t comment on new stories too often any more, but it’s nice to see Ryanair getting a hoofing now and again. A lovely report from the BBC about the Office of Fare Trading branding Ryanair’s charging of credit card transactions “puerile and childish”.

The most interesting points of note:

  • Ryanair are charging for card processing by having one free option – this is the law, but a loophole that must be closed
  • It costs Ryanair approximately 30p for each debit card transaction. They charge you £5. Per leg of flight. Per passenger
  • Their spokesman claims that “Ryanair is not for the overpaid John Fingletons on this world but for the everyday Joe Bloggs”. Yet they heap charges on these everyday Joe Bloggs’ and expect then to cough up
  • Also “passengers prefer Ryanair’s model as it allows them to avoid costs, such as baggage charges, which are still included in the high fares of high cost, fuel surcharging, strike-threatened airlines such as BA.” Which is cobblers – name me anyone who likes buying a £5 flight then finding out it’s going to cost them £40 with fees, luggage, check-in and a cab ride as it lands 85 miles from the city advertised after all the buses have stopped.

What is the point in advertising “low cost flights” when people are now figuring out that, while the flights are indeed low-cost, all the “optional extras” such as checking in (erm… can you fly without checking in?), hold baggage, going to the toilet (is this actioned yet?), cabin baggage (soon, I believe?), paying by anything other than MasterCard pre-pay… will all add to the cost?

If I go to BA’s website and book a flight to London at £30 do you know how much comes off my credit card? Exactly £30. I don’t pay a penny extra. And I get a drink and a snack on the flight. Plus a plane seat that doesn’t feel like it was stolen from a primary school pedal car.

I can book a flight that departs and arrives at a reasonable hour to a central airport with good transport links.

And when it lands I don’t get a bloody annoying fanfare on the tannoy telling me how great it is that we’ve landed on time.

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Go for it!

Index finger
I'm talking to you!

I’ve done a lot of stuff over the last three years that I never imagined I would. For the full story, check out my Travel Blog. I never, even a little over four years ago, would have guessed I would have done what I have done, achieved what I have achieved, experienced what I have experienced. Sometimes things just happen than give you a nudge in the right direction.

In short, for those new here, I met a lovely young lady who had already arranged to go travelling for 18 months. I was living in a nice house next door to the world’s worst neighbour who was – no exaggeration – driving me insane. Seriously over the edge. I’d bought my house when it was cheap and it had doubled in value. My job, for a great company and with wonderful co-workers, was pretty dull.

In short, I had a lot of reasons to go. A woman to follow, a neighbour to escape from and the funds to do so.

I’m no longer with that woman. In fact, I’m no longer with the next one either! I am, however, the owner of two passports (one full, one getting there), a PADI Divemaster card, and a collection of photos and stories that are simply staggering to me.

This isn’t a post to show off. This is a post to make you sit up and think “I should do that” if you’re at all able. And the reason for this is a story I heard today. It’s a sad one and very true.

To maintain confidentiality I shall use “a friend of mine” as the source. She is a schoolteacher and one of the children she taught last year is nine years old. He has a five year old sister. Last weekend they were sorting out a new hamster cage in preparation for getting the animal itself.

Their mum felt a little weird, and a headache was developing so she went for a lie down. Shortly after she called for her husband – the pain was getting far worse so they called for an ambulance.

By the time she made it to hospital she was brain dead.

Within two days, the machinery keeping her alive had been switched off.

She was 37.

Thirty. Seven.

And with no medical history that pointed to the fact that this might happen.

By all accounts she was very well liked and a wonderful mother to her two children. At least she had the time to bring them both into the world. She achieved something.

I sometimes wonder “what if” I’d not sold up and left. I’d still have a house and (possibly) a steady job. I’d likely own an X-Box360 and a pool table and have a home cinema. But I’d have missed out on the biggest adventure I could ever have hope to have. Walking across Europe, sky-diving, working in a temple in Thailand with baby tigers for crying out loud.

Then I hear about someone like this being taken at such an early age – barely a year older than I am now – and all my regrets vanish.

You only live once. If you’re lucky you’ll get maybe 70-80 years on this planet. If you’re less fortunate, maybe half that. Or less.

Don’t think “I wish…”.

Do it!

For me, it was seeing foreign countries and really pushing my independence. For you, maybe it’s a course in French or spending more time with your children.

Whatever it is – you can do it. It’s too easy to focus on material stuff these days: the flat screen telly, the bigger house, the flasher car. You don’t need them. Penny-pinch, save up, change arrangements, get rid of things you don’t use. You’ll be surprised how much you can make.

And go for it.

You only have one chance. It’s a huge, wonderful world. Don’t regret never giving yourself the opportunity.

You never know when your time is up.

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Water, water, everywhere

Green Eggs And Diarrhea
Mine smells like eggs

…and all of it flowing from my poop-chute.

It’s been over a week since anything remotely solid passed from between my bum-cheeks. Leah came down with something when we were on Gili Trawangan and I think passed it on to me so that by the time we got to Gili Meno I really wasn’t feeling well. And I’m a really bad ill person. Leah will vouch for this.

Similarly to her, after some time with the runs a good old vomit suddenly made me feel better. I expected to perk up within a day or so and indeed since then and until now I feel pretty good in myself.

However, I still don’t think I’ve passed anything that wouldn’t pass through a reasonably-graded collander since. In face in the last day or so I’d go so far as to say sieve.

With an eye operation coming up on Saturday I could really do with ensuring my stomach, at least, is in working order. Here’s hoping the Immodium I have in my medicine bag is in date. At least they have Boots in Bangkok so I can get new ones if necessary.

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Dear passenger…

Gesture raised fist with middle finger lifted
You wanktard

Were you the individual who left your bag in the ladies’ toilet at Edinburgh Airport yesterday? The one who sparked the security alert which caused a 4-hour delay to Leah’s flight (not to mention other changes and cancellations), which made he rmiss her connecting flight to Singapore from Heathrow and onward flight to Kuala Lumpur? Which means – assuming she makes the new connections – will have her arriving over four hours late, close to midnight and with no luggage for two days?

If so, I hate your guts. I hope beyond hope that the bag contained enough material to identify you and have you crucified. At the very least I hope all of your travel documents, passport, money, house keys and the like were inside and it was blown up in a controlled explosion and it costs you a fortune to replace it all.

You stupid, bloody idiot.

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Another geography game

This Traveler IQ was calculated on Monday, April 20, 2009 at 01:12PM GMT by comparing this person’s geographical knowledge against the Web’s Original Travelogue‘s 3,938,360 travelers who’ve taken the challenge.

Globetrotter XL is another geography game similar to one I linked ot a long time ago. Give it a shot. It’s pretty good, though if I recall correctly the other one did let you pick continents and countries to test your knowledge of as well as just a world map. Having said that, I can’t find the game link anywhere on my blog so if you can find the page it’s on…

[update] OK, I can’t find it anywhere on my blog which is weird. Maybe I emailed it out. So here’s a link to it on TravelPod – it’s called Traveler IQ. My top score so far is 271,821 reaching level 8.

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