Bovril in factual cockup shock horror

I read the following on NUFC.com‘s Coxy’s Corner. Bovril (a meat-based hot drink from the UK) is putting little factoids on the back of current jars. One of them was the following:

“In 1994 enough Bovril drink was made to fill 90 million match day mugs.

In the same year Andy Cole became the highest ever premiership scorer with 34 goals in a season for Manchester United.”

Errr, that’ll be Newcastle United actually. Close, but no steaming hot mug of meaty-smelling beverage for the guy in the research department.

Me being me, I emailed Unilever who make Bovril. Sorry to say I don’t have a copy of that mail as it was on a web form. I am pleasantly surprised, though, to say that they replied:

“Bovril CaseID#38225#

Hello from Bovril

Dear Iain

Thank you for your email.

Well done on spotting our deliberate mistake, I have passed your comments
on to the brand managers concerned.

Kind Regards

Barbara Westwood
Consumer Advisor”

Well done to Unilver for at least making the effort to send me a message back! Let’s see if they recall all the offending jars…

Things I wanted to put on my travel blog, but couldn’t

I’m just blogging about climing Mt Fansipan in Sapa, and it was exhausting. I’d have liked to have used the following to describe the exertion, but it’s a family-friendly blog, so I can’t. It’s a shame to waste it, so here you go:

“There was more heavy breathing than the last time I ****** a fat girl in a sauna.”

I thank you.

Best 18-rated movie scenes… my arse

A story on the Beeb about the best 18-rated movie scenes (from, I think, Empire magazine) raises the usual arguments. Mainly about how wrong the people who voted for the stomach burster in Alien are. I mean, come on. I’ve seen more realistic aliens on the Muppet Show. I actually remember laughing out loud when I saw it. All the tension, the horror, the blood slowly appearing… and then this solid plastic dildo pops out, looks cute and bounces away like Kermit walking behind a fence.

Could I pick any better? Yes. But I’d have to think long and hard as there are so many! How about Derek scooping his brains back in from Bad Taste, or the vomit-eating scene from the same film? The hilarious “I kick arse for the lord” scene in Brain Dead, or the “100 zombies versus man with lawnmower” sequence later on? I’ve only used one director and two films so far.

Saving Private Ryan‘s awsome opening sequence would have been a definite for top slot had the BBFC not (quite rightly) lowered the rating to a 15 due to its potentially educational value, thus giving it a wider audience and making it legal to show in schools.

Votes, people? And remember this is “18” not “R18” so that 3-arse anal gangbang with Chuck Johanson from So You Do Take It Up The Shitter? Volume 27 doesn’t count.

News roundup

Just a few things that have caught my eye on BBC News the last day or two.

Kryptonite discovered!

How cool is this? Finding a compound/mineral that was described in a film a few months back. A shame they can’t actually call it Kryptonite as it’s not actually in any way related to the gas Krypton. Ah well.

Marathon runner battle heat

All due respect to those who took part (one year, maybe…) but I’d hardly call 21 degrees a heatwave. I was in Singapore for the marathon there last year and caught the end of it at around 9am. Despite the early start, temperatures were still higher than 21 degrees and the humidity is silly over there. The 2002 marathon had 30 degree plus heat and 80% humidity!

Maybe I’m just getting used to silly temperatures again. Between Perth, Darwin, Singapore and Hanoi I’d guess my average temperature has been in the mid 20’s.

Mind yer arse!

A warning that a good old fashioned flush lavvy (or a hole in the ground and a bucket) are all nature ever intended us to use.

Students can’t “work” condoms

I don’t know if this is funny or scary. People smart (or rich) enough to embark on a degree course don’t know how to put one on. Or think that it has holes in big enough for HIV to pass through. Or that they can wash them and use them again. OK, maybe the last one is tied to them not being able to put them on properly. Ever tried to slip one on when it’s already unfurled? It ain’t happening.

I do remember an advert at the cinema many years ago featuring a guy in his 70’s or 80’s talking about his condom. He’d even named it, though that name escapes me. When he finished with it, he’s wash it, dust it with chalk and pop it back in the box for later. It was designed like that! Things have changed and the advert was pointing out how much simpler things are these days.

Unless you’re 1/3 of the British university population. Good grief.