Big black cock and a big payload

Cock Cake
Cock Cake

I meant to post this ages ago. Several months before I left home, in fact. Only I just didn’t have the time / couldn’t be arsed (delete as appropriate). So here it is in all its glory – Sharon’s big black cock.

She made it for a friend’s Hen Night, and I’m proud to say it was my idea although the craftswomanship, baking skills and artistry are all down to Sharon herself. I do think it needs more shaved chocolate pubes, but what the hey. It also looks delicious and Sharon has definitely got skills where making confectionery are concerned. I won’t ever say this again (ever), but I certainly wouldn’t mind stuffing some of that cock in my mouth.

I never asked if it was filled with cream.

Amazing what you find when you go digging on your hard drive

I’ve found about a dozen blog posts I wrote before I left the UK (and my job). I’ll trickle these up over the next week or so, just so that it looks like I’m actually putting some fucking effort in.

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Bah humbug – poll results, new poll and stuff

Bah Humbug Cake
Bah Humbug Cake

One quick picture of a co-gift from Sharon and her mum. Mrs Sharon Senior is one of the world’s leading exponents in making very nice xmas cake indeed. Sharon iced it. The cheeky cow.

On a xmasy theme… another two-question poll. The BBC Magazine has an article about the use of “xmas” and the reasons for/against it. What are your views? The second one’s a simple one – how festive are you?

For the record, I use “xmas” because I’m not religious and, partly in deference to those who are, prefer not to refer to something I don’t believe in. I’d not expect a practising Christian to yell “Oh, mighty ALLAH!” if they banged their thumb with a hammer, for instance! Also, it’s less typing and I’m lazy.

I’ll let you all guess as what I put for question 2.

And finally, the results of the previous poll about home security and how violent we should be allowed to get with the filth who wander in and think they can nick all our stuff, rape our dogs and piss in our hollowed-out skulls. Basically, you lot seem to be closet psychopaths, but are less likely to go ahead and kill a thug even if you feel they deserve it.

You’ll learn… I can help.

poll-homesafe
Results of Home Security poll