Ashley Out! (t-shirts for sale)

Ashley Out
Also available in white!

Well, that was a surprise. Not that Mike Ashley‘s stupid enough to sack a perfectly able manager, but the timing. I’d not put it past Ashley to do anything – the guy is a complete fuckwit. I guess he’s just proved to everyone, including the neutral press, what an utter and complete cockend he is, deserving no place in the football world at all.

Chris Hughton deserved better, and he’s been let down by a board as weak-willed as they come.

Still, in a bid to try and make something positive of the situation, I’ve whacked some “ASHLEY OUT” t-shirts up on SpreadShirt. They’re £15, of which £4.10 (all profits) go to the Blue Dragon Children’s Foundation.

Great present for any Newcastle United fan!

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Airbourne – Glasgow Barrowlands

Airbourne - Glasgow Barrowlands 8
Airbourne – Glasgow

[Complete collection of photos in this Flickr set]

Airbourne are a band I’m familiar with and know a few songs by, but don’t know a lot about. One thing I can tell you after this gig is that they are one incredible live act!

They do often get compared to AC/DC for a variety of reasons and I would be tempted to go that direction. Their sound is similar and they focus on one key figure in the band. OK, kind of. Lead guitarist and singer Joel O’Keeffe is like Angus Young and Brian Johnson wrapped up together in one rock’n’roll shaped package.

Within three songs, Joel was walking around the crowd having walked off the side of the stage. No bouncers or security (more about those arseholes later), just a man and a guitar wandering around a sell-out crowd and jumping on a bar for a drink. He got carried around shoulder-high by a couple of fans for some time, making his way back to the stage.

Towards the end, Joel smashed a few cans of lager on his head, the crowd rocked and all was good with the world.

For me, a gig needs three things – a good band, good sound and a good crowd. Airbourne had these in spades. I’ve yet to be let down by a Glasgow crowd at a gig. Always up for it!

Someone needs to feed something down to the Showsec trolls at the front though. I had a run-in with one of these neanderthals twenty years ago when I was at Barrowlands to see Megadeth. I was dragged by the hair (I had some then) into a back room by some huge brute who threatened to break my legs and kick me out if I dared to crowdsurf again.

This time round, as Joel is telling the crowd to climb on each other’s shoulders, crowdsurf, slam – whatever – the “security” ******* were busy telling people to stop and threatening to throw them out if they didn’t obey.

So, basically, twenty years go by and Barrowlands still haven’t been able to find staff that have the slightest idea of what people having fun looks like. Quite how they’ve managed to stay in this black hole when nearby venues such as the Academy and the Garage cope perfectly well is beyond me.

Basically, an awesome gig by a fantastic live act spoiled by a small number of complete cocks. Who were being paid to be there.

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Harry Potter 7(a) / The Warrior’s Way

A Friday night double-bill in Glasgow with Gillian. First up, the continuing adventures of some kid with a wand, followed by a rather weird kung-fu cowboy film.

Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: Part 1

“The Ministry has fallen. The Minister of Magic is dead.”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: Bad guy rises, bad people take over, bad things happen, good guys run away and hide.

The wizard-y juggernaut crashes towards a near-conclusion with part 1 of the largest novel making its way to the screen. And J.K.Rowling‘s bank balance going stratospherical with her first credit as Producer.

I’ll be honest – I wasn’t that keen on the final book. I thought it was far too slow, and blown out of all proportion which spoiled what had been a good series up until book 5. This film, then, is a good adaptation as it’s pretty much the same.

Now don’t get me wrong. It’s still pretty good. But it’s got a lot more character development and far too much time is spent fleshing out bits of the plot that were touched on earlier in the series. At over two hours, that’s a lot of fleshing. There isn’t any wasted time, though, as far as I could tell. It’s a long book, therefore it’s a long film.

The effects are, as ever, of the highest standard. The cast are magnificent. The script isn’t bad at all and has some good laughs in it. But despite some cracking set pieces, it’s just too damn slow. Also, beware of the rating – this is too scary for some younger kids. We didn’t take Gill’s daughter (aged 9) for this very reason. Friends had taken their kid and warned us that it would be best to wait for the DVD release for E to see it.

The highlight of the film, for me, was the explanation of what the Deathly Hallows are. A wonderful five minute animation as Hermione reads a fairy tale from a book. Beautifully done and it doesn’t intrude on the film at all.

I’ll still go and see the next one, but mainly just because I’ve watched the first seven. The film review on Radio 5 had a message in calling this one “Harry On Camping”. That’s about right. Most of the movie is like Tolkien‘s The Two Towers – it’s all just people moving around. It’s the calm before the storm.

Right now I’m waiting for the lightning to hit.

The Warrior’s Way

“Ninjas. Damn.” (NOTE: Not from the film, even though it’s in the trailer)

Plot-in-a-nutshell: Bad guy turns good guy and runs away from other bad guy, meets more good guys who are hounded by another bad guy and then all the bad guys meet up. With kung-fu and cowboys.

This is a very weird film. Possibly the weirdest western you’ll encounter until Cowboys and Aliens hits the screens. Actually, probably weirder because of how it’s filmed.

First of all, it’s definitely not to everyone’s taste. I thought it was wonderful. Not perfect, but definitely worth seeing. Gillian was impressed with the visual style and so forth, but found it otherwise rather vapid, preferring the Asian films it takes its style from to this offshoot.

The story is explained well in the trailer – a swordsman spends his life being trained to be the best in the world. His commander orders that he destroy every living member of their opposing clan, which he does… until he encounters the last one: a baby. He can’t bring himself to kill the child, so grabs it and scarpers to the Wild West. Of course, doing so marks him as a dead man as far as his old clan are concerned so they follow behind to deal out justice (i.e. kill him).

Yang (Dong-gun Jang) finds himself in the are end of nowhere, in a small town where a friend of his used to run a laundry. So no stereotypes there, then. The population are predominantly discarded circus folk, lending a rather stilted edge to the atmosphere as bearded ladies, clowns and midgets walk the streets.

There he encounters Lynne (Kate Bosworth), a dead ringer for Toy Story‘s Jessie, who had started knife training with the previous “yellow man”. She has her own unsettling history relating to a local bad guy known only as “Colonel” (Danny Huston).

What I liked about the film was the slow build. It starts with some nice action, but keeps the blood and gore down to some spurts and CGI clouds. As the film progresses, the violence becomes grander and more graphic. This is the opposite of Ninja Assassin which had the single best gory moment (head sliced in half) right in the opening sequence.

The plot-related scenes are simply gorgeous. I just loved the feel of the whole film. For an idea of how it looks and how the story is rolled along, refer yourself to the TV series Pushing Daisies with it’s strong colours and rather off-kilter feel. You could probably delve deeper and start spotting metaphors (like the flower garden), but I simply didn’t feel the need and just wallowed in the sheer loveliness of it.

It won’t appeal to everyone. However, it did really appeal to me. Gillian said she was glad to have seen it, but wouldn’t recommend it. I guess that would be one thumb up and one thumb down.

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Chicken and bacon wraps

Bacon/chicken wraps!
Bacon/chicken wraps!

I’ve not done a cooking post on here in ages, and I tried something a little new last night so here it is. Dead simple (as I prefer) and dead cheap (which I also prefer).

Equipment:

  • A George Formby ((Foreman? Whoever…) or similar) grill

Ingredients:

  • Chicken fillet(s)
  • Bacon (2 per slice of fillet – I had smoked, thick cut)
  • Chips/waffles/hash browns
  • Mixed veg
  • Brown sauce / ketchup

Recipe:

This hinges on the meat. For the potato / mixed veg, just heat it so it’s ready serve at the same time as the meat. It should take around 20-30 mins to cook through.

Switch the grill on so it’ll be warmed up for when you need it.

Get a chicken fillet. Slice it down to size if required. I found one medium fillet sliced down the middle to make a “finger” about an inch wide and four inches long is fine.

Wrap two slices of bacon around each chicken “finger”, covering as much of the chicken as possible. Don’t worry about the ends, though. Just leave them bare.

Drop them onto the grill and close it over. Leave to cook for 20-ish minutes. You may want to slice through one of the fingers to ensure it’s cooked through.

Put everything on a plate, add sauce (I prefer brown, ketchup would be OK I suppose) and enjoy.

Told you it was simple.

Alternatives:

It’s been suggested that I slice the fillet and stuff it with something before cooking. I may give it a go with some grated cheese, though a couple of people have mentioned chives, garlic and so on. Go wild – it’s your meal!

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The American (and a second dose of trains)

Courtesy of being a numpty and checking the times for Cineworld Glasgow instead of Edinburgh, I made my way to the cinema for 10:30 to find that the showing of Machete I wanted to see didn’t exist.

Arse.

I’d seen everything else due to start before half twelve (except Girl Who Kicked The Hornets Nest and I’ve not seen, or want to see, the one before it) so I opted to watch Unstoppable again. I missed the first 10 minutes when I caught it last week, so at least some of it would be new. It was still enjoyable the second time around, though not as good as the first screening.

Next up:

The American

“You cannot deny the existence of hell. You live in it. It is a place without love.”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: Mysterious American hitman/spy/something ends up in a peaceful Italian town with some dodgy Swedish people on his tail.

Based on Martin Booth‘s novel A Very Private Gentleman, the film finds “Jack” (George Clooney) fleeing to Italy to escape Swedish assassins, while preparing one final job. It’s never 100% clear what he does, though this final work seems to involve supplying a gun to another assassin rather than doing the deed himself.

It’s definitely a rather arty film, not the action spectacle you might expect. There are many scenes that just seem to be crammed together and often you’re left thinking “what’s going on? Why did he just do that?” – but at least it’s a film that makes you think rather than spoon-feeding the audience.

What I can say about the movie is that it is absolutely beautifully shot (director Anton Corbijn should take a bow), most of it in a small Italian town called Castel del Monte. If the Italian government were looking for a 105 minute tourism advert showing how gorgeous and historic parts of their country are, then they’d not go far wrong using this.

The rest of the cast are as good as can be expected, though I have to simply say: Violante Placido… *drool*. If I was allowed a “five famous people” list she’d be on it. Wow.

As I said, don’t expect huge explosions, spectacular car crashes and Bay-esque set pieces. This is a film about Clooney’s character rather than the events around him. The thing is, he’s such a private gentleman that it doesn’t make for a very interesting tale. Everything coasts along well enough, and there are little moments as the film builds to a decent near-ending… and a fairly weak final scene.

There are better films out at the moment, but if you want to see Italy at its most jaw-dropping then there’s nothing else to rival this one.

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