Category: Entertainment

Mmmm… Lois

Anyone who watches quality television will know that Betty and Wilma have been out-“foxed” by Lois Griffin from Family Guy. This is one hot animated chick who really makes Jessica Rabbit look poorly drawn. You just know she’s filthy (mainly as she openly acts it on the show).

As a result, Mel and Matt bought me a 6-inch tall Lois figure from a comic shop when I was in Perth and left it tucked up in my bed for me when I got in. Then followed “jokes” about us joining the mile-high club on my flight to Darwin.

Let me just point out that a woman making jokes about a guy having sexual fun with a 6″ plastic toy is a little like the pot calling the kettle black. For your information, Lois is still virginally intact, her seal unbroken (she’s still in the packet). Mind, bum games with a model based on a Jewish woman with a stereotypically large nose makes me wince at the thought. Could be fun with the prostate though.

EMI takes locks off music tracks

EMI is taking security locks off downloaded songs. Some may scream “at last!” and I’d be among them if it wasn’t for one thing: why do these tracks cost more than the normal versions? Their argument is that they’re more portable and that they’re higher quality.

Fact is, if I pay for a track I expect it to be portable. I expect to be able to listen to it on my PC, my laptop, my MP3 player, my car stereo, my home stereo and to be able to take it to a friend’s house. Why should I be charged extra for this privilege.

As for higher quality… most MP3s I’ve seen for download seem to be 192Kbps which is more than needed. I always resample mine down to 128Kbps which (I think?) is CD quality. Regardless, with the equipment I’ve got I can’t hear any difference between 192 and 128 – just that the latter is around 25-33% smaller in filesize. I’m certain that upping the download “quality” to 256Kbps or higher will be even less useful to the average punter. They’ll only end up downloading a larger file which sounds the same as on half it’s size!

“We are adding another product, priced higher, with more features, higher sound quality and hassle free interoperability.”

Horse ****. It’s the same product, priced higher, with no more “features” (What the ****? Features?), the same sound quality as far as the human ear is concerned and “hassle free interoperability” that we’ve had from tapes, LPs and CDs for decades. So, by my reckoning, to all intents and purposes it’s actually just “the same product, priced higher”.

Yet another case of a record company trying to sound magnanimous about making more money from us by attempting to give us something we should get for our money anyway. Stinks of the hoo-hah over legally downloadable films… another laughable attempt to keep up with technology.

Films what I want to see

Well, having just suffered the horrors of Hannibal Rising, Smokin’ Aces and Ghost Rider, what else is on the horizon to wash the awful taste from my mouth?

Top of the list courtesy of the trailers I’ve seen recently are the following:

Spiderman 3 – I mean, wow. The trailer alone makes the last two look like badly-printed comics.
The Simpsons – I almost choked laughing at the teaser trailer.
Wild Hogs – Essentially City Slickers with motorbikes.
Hot Fuzz – The brains (the brains, the braaaaiiiinns!) behind Sean of the Dead manage to merge Miami Vice and The Bill.
Rocky Balboa – Save me. I’m sorry, but the trailer actually makes it look like it might be good.

I’m not sure on release dates for this lot except Spidey – which will come out when I’m in Laos/Cambodia. So I’ll be buying that one on a ropey DVD then…

Steve Irwin on South Park

Frankly, I’m disgusted about this. How come someone as mad as Steve Irwin had to cark it before South Park decided to take the piss out of him? There was plenty to poke fun at when the mentalist was still breathing.

Regardless, and unsurprisingly, there’s a huge TV outcry over here with networks “undecided” as to whether they’ll show the offending episode next year and none of the news programs prepared to show the clip. Having said that, it was refreshing to see one presenter simply say “if you think you won’t like it… just don’t watch it” instead of joining in the Parker/Stone witch-hunt.

Being ridiculed on South Park is like making a guest appearance on The Simpsons. It’s an honour. You’re famous enough that people know you and want to take you down a peg. Steve Irwin is now up there with Mel Gibson, Barbara Streisand, Sadam Hussein and Satan himself. Surely a better legacy than a crappy zoo?

(Before you go sending me poison-soaked boomarangs and stuff in the mail, check out my earlier post about his death. And develop a sense of humour)

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