Category: News

Jade Goody may die!

Race Weep

I only just found out who the **** she is and I couldn’t really care much less aside from the following news story allows me to make a really tasteless post:

TV star Jade Goody, who has been diagnosed with cervical cancer, has said she fears she may not live to see her two young sons grow up. [BBC News]

I’ve seen the pictures and it’s awful. Not her scans. Her face. And someone ****** that? Twice?

Ew.

Hey, won’t you lot be glad when I get the **** away from Kota Kinabalu to somewhere I don’t have as much free time and internet access?

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Twatting Britain

ASDA Stores LimitedAsda – whatever you want,
except the word “****”

This is yet another example of what pisses me off about the UK. A book is being reprinted with a change in the text because one word has upset a few parents who don’t want their kids reading it. Of course, these parents obviously have no ******* idea of the language theit little preciouses are using at school.

The part of the text that got me more than anything else was that Asda would refuse to stock My Sister Jodie after “a complaint from one shopper”.

One.

A single, ******* one.

Out of 28,000 sales.

That’s an enormous 0.00357142857% of total customers, if my maths is correct. And because of that, they’ve withdrawn it from sale.

It reminds me of when I was back in Low Fell and wanted to get some Richard Laymon books out. I couldn’t find some of them on the shelves, so asked if they had them in stock. “Yes”, was the reply,”but you’ll have to reserve them as they’ve been removed.”

Someone (and I mean “one”) had complained at the content. Of a horror book. In the adult section. Thus it was taken from the shelves and only obtainable if you paid money to make a reservation for it.

The country’s gone to ****. Is it any wonder I’m not hanging around there any more?

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Have you seen this man?

Child-molesting piece of ****

If so, beat the **** to a bloody pulp and ship his bits back to the UK so we can put him on the sex offender’s register. Gary Glitter, the child-abusing low-life piece of ****, has done a runner after Thai officials refused him entry to the country and threatened to deport him back to the UK. Which is strange as only a day ago his publicist (who the **** would sink to being this bastard’s publicist?) stated that he wanted to return to Britain.

Last seen boarding a plane for Hong Kong, so it’s in the Chinese government’s hands as to whether they let him in. They’ve got an exemplary human rights record, so you never know. Either they’ll welcome in a rich man who can afford all the 7 year-olds he can bugger, or they’ll take him to a cave and flay him alive.

I dearly, dearly, hope for the latter.

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Pornshoot

Official logo of the 2008 Summer Olympic GamesImage via Wikipedia

I did a pornshoot today. By which I mean I downloaded a load of porn and shot my wad looking at it. If that’s not a pornshoot I don’t know what is.

Again, sorry for not posting a lot recently. Excessive travelling, hectic schedules and being a lazy **** all factor into the equation. I’ve also got a teeny hangover from a cold I had around a week ago. To whit: one nostril which keeps dribbling. I swear I’ve swallowed half my bodyweight in bogies in the last week.

Yeah, I know. I should be blowing it into a bag and sending it to Ethiopia.

Hey, and how come if you blow into a hanky and put it back into your pocket the Chinese look at you in disgust? These ******* hack their guts up for minutes at a time and blow phlegm out into pots in the street. Well, not in Beijing any more. The government took all the pots away and started trying to fine random gobbers in an attempt to clean the place up before the Olympics.

Result? A few bob in the coffers and a shoe/snot problem every bit as bad as the shoe/chewing gum problem in the UK.

Mind, this is the same government that decided to try and reduce air pollution by banning huge amounts of traffic from the city ahead of the games. Nice idea, but banning it 2 weeks ahead of time is like trying to clear up Chernobyl with a vaginal sponge.

This is what you get for insisting on a random post when I’ve not had a chance to check the news recently. At least I’ve left Bangkok so I can’t run up to Bush and kick him in the head. Bastard.

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Must move on

George W. Bush speaks at a campaign rally in 2004.Grade “A” Fuckwit

I fly into Bangkok on August 1st. Leah leaves on the 3rd. I have to leave before the 6th? Why? Because George W Bush is visiting the city for two days on the 6th and the 7th. And if I don’t leave, I’ll likely end up being arrested for throwing poo at him. Or at the very least trying to get on telly with a huge sign saying “**** OFF YOU ****”.

Too little, too late you retarded dwarf. There’s no point trying to make friends now you’re about to drop out of office. Pretty much the whole world hates your guts. Deal with it. Sucking arse for a few weeks won’t change anything.

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