So far today I have been…

  • told I’ve won 800,000 Euros on a lottery I didn’t enter
  • asked “your errection is non-functional?”
  • informed that “\/1agra shipped /worldwide”
  • passed information (several times) about “c1alis” or “cia1is” or “<ia11us” soft tabs (whatever they hell they are)
  • queried regarding “what is 0em software and why is it important to you?”
  • put forward for more exclusive stock tips than I could make use of in a lifetime
  • approved for 7 loans or mortages for which I didn’t apply
  • awarded a qualification from a university I’ve never heard of
  • begged to help a very trustworthy-sounding (if somewhat illiterate) Nigerian banker get some money out of the country to help a poor family who just lost their father
  • offered “just best price$ for qulity meds”
  • pointed in the direction of a “job with a successful company”
  • sent more “press release”s than I can count
  • on the end of several offers of “copies of swiss watches”

In addition I’ve had umpteen mails of complete gibberish (e.g. “Re: irreducible platband”) and a handful seemingly made up of random characters.

How the **** is anyone stupid enough to give these people money that makes them find it worthwhile bothering the rest of us with this ****?

Bow down in awe

About bloody time

Puny mortals! Put your foreheads to the ground and wail in wonder at the miracle that is… my 2.2 and new-found ability to put BSc (Hons) after my name. BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Yes, I have managed to squeeze a 6-year degree course into 4 years and still pass!

The mind boggles. Or it did. It’s now stopped boggling. A complete lack of bogglage for the forseeable future, actually.

Greedy

I just had an envelope thrust at me by one of my work colleagues, with “Paul Gregory Baby Collection” on it . This is so unfair. Everyone else is making do with turkey for xmas and this git get us to pay for a baby for him and his mrs. How unfair is that?

Scruffy bastard smokers **** off

At first glance it seems that the poll results are very much in favour of people being able to inflict their misery on others, or at very least along the lines that there’s room for argument:

Smo
Results of Smoking Ban poll

However. By removing all the repeated voting that came in day after day from the same IP address range (i.e. one fuckwit who thought I’d not notice), we get a clearer picture of the genuine results:

REAL smoking ban poll results
REAL results of Smoking Ban poll

So. All you smokers can take your filthy habit and **** off home with it. Please leave the rest of us to kill ourselves in public in less selfish ways. And while you’re there, have a go at the new poll.