Incorrect priorities

To the BBC

Dear Sir,

As a license-fee payer I was incensed by the BBC’s insensitive attitude to a major event yesterday evening. I do understand that schedules can slip for some reason, but given the importance and need for reflection on the events of the day, I can see no acceptable circumstance for the 5 minute delay to the start of Match of the Day.

As someone who attended the game and thus didn’t have the benefit of an instant replay, I was desperate to find out what had happened with Dyer and Bowyer. I was kept on the edge of my seat for five additional stressful minutes as a result of the BBC News running over. Have the BBC no idea of the anxiety and upset this kind of thoughtless messing with the TV listings can cause?

Yours,

Disgusted of Bradford

Cup Semi ticket
Cup Semi ticket

Woop! Woop! Woop!

See picture. ‘Nuff said.

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As promised… and some more bitties

New Vote-U-Like

Here’s the results from the last one, folks:

Results of Animaly poll
Results of Animaly poll

It seems that dogs and cats are equally liked, while almost as many people prefer to think of them as meals with the other people they like. Remind me never to mention “eating pussy” to those people.

And now the new one. I’ve got a couple and I picked this at random. I’m afraid it may only make sense to those in the UK as it refers to a particularly British delicacy – Midget Gems. In particular the proper ones from Lion with the “proper” black one. Not the shitty soft ones which are all “sugar” flavour and cost about 2p/lb. Oh, incidentally, don’t buy them from that link unless you’re abroad. Morrisons regularly bung them on 3 for 2 in big bags for a quid each.

Americans may know the black one as “liquorice” or “African-American” as I believe use of the word “black” is restricted on your shores. As is calling hard drives “slave” and “master” in California. I shit you not, that one’s true.

The question, though… do you like the liquorice one? Do you throw them all away? Eat them first? Leave them for someone else? Or are you like Brian and only eat the green ones?

Taxis getting the horn (or not)

Taxis in North Wales have been threatened with an ASBO if they use their horns to attract passengers’ attention. And they’re whinging about it, complaining they’ve never acted illegaly. If that’s the case, it makes them the only taxi companies in the entire fucking UK not to parp their bastard horn instead of coming to the door.

In fact, I heard an interview with one of the taxi company owners who’d received the warning letter (6 weeks ago – it’s only just made the news). He said that residential customers generaly are waiting for the cab so there’s no need to beep. When they go to a pub or club pickup, then a short beep is all that’s needed to get the attention of people inside.

Ah. So they do beep their horns? While parked? And not to warn other motorists of their presence? After street lights have come on? I refer Hizzonor to Section 92 of the Highway Code:

Use only while your vehicle is moving and you need to warn other road users of your presence. Never sound your horn aggressively. You MUST NOT use your horn

  • while stationary on the road
  • when driving in a built up area between the hours of 11.30 pm and 7.00 am

…which pretty much makes that guy look like a prick.

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Reply from KFC and other gubbins

Letter from KFC

Dear Mosh,

Thank you for contacting the Customer Careline regarding the current advertising campaign. It is not KFC GB Ltd’s aim to offend or upset the viewing public with our advertisements and we apologise if we have done so. All comments are appreciated and have therefore been passed to our marketing department for their information. However we understand that the current campaign will be running for the forseeable future.

With regard to the store finder facilities on our Website, this is currently under review. Once again we apologise for any dissatisfaction that has been caused.

And no fucking free vouchers to try and buy me off. Tightwad bastards.

You know you’re getting old when…

…you can eat a bowl of Shredded Wheat without burying the foul stuff in sugar

…you spend more time walking around holding your stomach in thinking how good it makes you look than actually doing exercise which would mean you’d not have to hold the damn thing in in the first place

Ickle kiddie in the pub

I went into the pub at lunch (erm… for a change) and hung around the pool table with a bunch of the lads from work. After a bit, the cutest little toddler came… well… toddling through to see what we were doing.

You know how kids are just so cute around that age? Just able to walk, stary eyes, little smile, everything around them just so damn interesting? Lovely kid.

She vanished after a bit into the safety of her pram. After a while we heard her having a bit of a cry. I saw her parents. I think she’s just sussed how she’s going to end up. What a pair of mingers. I mean, I’m hardly one to judge but it doesn’t seem to matter which set of genes she inherits the strongest. Either way, she’s fucked once they kick in.

Poor bugger.

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Let’s change the subject

I kind of realised I’m ever so slightly behind on updating this poll thing, so here are the results from the last one. Seems most of you aren’t really that bothered about the festive season, which about ties in with what the papers were saying.

At least I know I’m not the only miserable bastard out here. I’m just better at it than you lot.

Results of Xmas poll
Results of Xmas poll

I have to come up with a new poll now. Argh. OK, let’s go completely hatstand. Nothing topical, just something random. Go clicky lefty handy sidey columny thingy…

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6823

6823
6823

That’s how many hits (unique per day) this page has had over the last year. I put the counter on on Dec 25th 2003 at 17:00, expecting to get maybe a couple of dozen a week. Actually, in November I was wondering if I’d make 5000 by xmas. From somewhere I got a sudden deluge and passed 6000 before the start of December!

A big “BAH HUMBUG” to all (except that cunt at number 9 – him and his pet bitch can fuck off and die for all I care) and I hope to have you all reading this cobblers for another 12 months.

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