Category: Life

More chav neighbour “fun”

Oh it gets better. Worse. Whatever.

Tuesday night was a pain what with ringing chav‘s dad and everything, but tonight it just got surreal. I heard the front door slam at around 6:00, just as I was on my way out with Kim (neighbour, ex-housemate and all-round good egg) to see a preview film at the IMAX.

As we drove past the shops nearby, I spotted Mrs Chav at the payphone on the corner. No big shakes. Enjoyed evening out, got home.

*THUD THUD TSH TSH BEEP BEEPBEEP BOOP BOOP THUD* etc etc etc. ******* ARSE.

So I went and knocked on the door. As you do. Only I was sneeky – I waited till one of them had run to the shops, so it sounded like him coming back. Nevertheless, a head appeared at the little window and I heard “he’s here”. In other words “I knew he’d come round if we were loud enough, the miserable ****”.

A pause and the door opens. Chav-boy… with a grin. Weird. “You want us to turn it down, yeah? Sorry about that.”

Sorry?

So I was my polite self (I know you don’t believe it) and mentioned that I knew he had Tuesday off and sorry about ringing his dad and all and…

“My dad? I didn’t know about that.”

Weird. Whose ******* phone did his dad ring, which was answered by someone calling him “dad” on Tuesday night, then? So he’s either lying or was too wasted to remember.

“And I’ve got tonight off as well.”

Aw, ****.

“And I’m skint. I’ve only got, like, a fiver and I spent it on beer. I’m kind of having a blow-up. Me girlfriend’s walked out on me! Ha! Hey, and you know why?”

Because you’re a useless waste of space? You live to piss people off? You beat her up? You’ve told her more than once that she means less than nothing to you?

“I beat her at Far Cry on me XBox! She said the controller she has was ****. ****, she even… here… come in and look at this!”

So, dazed, I followed him in.

“You’re right about these walls being thin. She threw my phone at me. Look!”

And he shows me a mobile phone, buried in the wall. Sadly not in his skull. Good arm on her, that lass, in fairness.

Everything got weirder about that. I know he’s now overdrawn by some stupid amount of money, which is nice. And he’s damaging the house, so he’ll lose his deposit when he moves out. Which is nice.

But it’s quiet now (around 10pm) so I should be grateful. I don’t think she was helping with the rent, so sadly he likely can still afford to live there. And he’s sure she’ll be back. The cocky ****. Sad thing is, he’s probably right.

Comic Collectors Ahoy

Please check out my eBay sales if you have a moment. I’m emptying the loft! [link removed – it was a long time ago!]

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Do you wear kex?

The largest number of voters for any poll so far, I think. Possibly because it’s been up for ******* ages. I have to admit, I thought more women would go without knickers than men, but maybe that’s just in my fantasy easy-access world. Nice to know that the majority do at some time or other, though.

No real reason for the poll. I’m just nosy. And a bit perverted.

Going Commando poll results
Results of Going Commando poll

New poll

So far San Francisco, New York, France, Scotland, Northern Ireland and the Irish Republic have announced or already implemented a complete smoking ban in all enclosed workplaces. Wales have said they’d follow suit, but have to wait for the English parliament to get off it’s ******* ****-scared pansy-arse and make a stand instead of being a bunch of wilting ***** too scared to risk pissing off a group of selfish ******** who don’t care about killing other people with their own bad habit.

What do you think? Complete smoking ban in public across the entire UK? Or should we all be forced to breathe other people’s disease-ridden air because they’re too selfish to care and too stupid to stop?

I think my feelings are quite plain…

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Harry Potter (no spoilers)

Anni's pussy
Anni's pussy

Normal service will be resumes tomorrow. I’ve just finished reading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince so I now have spare time. Well, around coursework.

For the record, I have to say I’m not that impressed. For 600-odd pages, very little happens compared to what was crammed into smaller books earlier in the series. JKR‘s writing does seem to have improved, but this title reads more like an introduction to the last in the series than a story in its own right.

To make up for not posting, please find attached a piccy of Anni‘s hot pussy (her words).

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About bloody time…

Yeah, yeah – I’ve been nagged enough. A new poll goes up today, but first of all the results of the last one: what do you think of black (liquorice) Midget Gems? Thing is, this has now become moot as Maynards have bought out Lion and replaced the lovely liquorice ones with ******* blackcurrant the *******. Yes, there will be a letter of complaint on its way shortly which I’ll pop up here, but frankly this is heresy. If people want blackcurrant then they can **** off and buy Wine Gums or something.

As for the poll, see below. It was a 50/50 split between those who liked and those who didn’t like them or didn’t mind them. If you want to get really finicky, there’s still 30% who enjoyed them. That’s a fair proportion. ******* Maynards. I wonder what else they make that I can boycott?

Midget Gems poll results
Midget Gems poll results

And now the new survey. I’m a nosey bugger, and I’m also lazy with my washing, so I often go commando. Balls out. Fresh to the wind, save only a single layer of cloth. Without undies. I’m just curious as to how many of you do as well, and how often. Especially women. With photographic proof.

OK, that last bit’s purely voluntary but if you feel the need then you know the address.

Go ooooooonnnn!

Also today

There was a big parade and so on in London(and Europe, I believe) to mark the end of WWII. I was channel-hopping around and caught some of the info stuff on BBC1. Apparently the first allied troop to set foot on Jersey after the Nazis buggered off was one Ronald McDonald.

I’d never recognise him from the old photo they showed (no daft shoes or big red nose), but hasn’t he done well since then?

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How could they?!

OK, this news came as a bit of a shock. So I wrote them a letter. And got a (pointless) reply.

I don’t get this – you’re removing the Cult website as it’s “too similar to the commercial sector” i.e. there are other websites with similar content. Perhaps… but none of them are as good, nor as comprehensive as the BBC’s. On top of that I’m *paying* for the BBC site out of my license fee.

If we’re going to get rid of things for being “too similar” to commercial offerings, can we also please scrap Eastenders as it’s just Coronation Street set in London? And Holby as it’s only a cheap version of E.R.? Getting rid of that dross would allow plenty of funding for excellent resources such as this.

How on earth you can scrap a site that gets almost 700,000 hits a month and comes second only to your news pages is beyond me. I thought the idea was to provide a public service? The two statistics there show that this site is doing this above and beyond all expectations, and your decision is one of utter stupidity.

Cult TV is going through a massive boom right now. I mean, come on – you’ve just sold Playschool in Maori! There are DVD releases coming out left/right/centre and this site is by far and away the most detailed and comprehensive *anywhere*. Killing it off is like scuppering the Ark Royal just because the US has a couple of aircraft carriers that can kind of do the same job.

If you do send me a reply, I’d appreciate a personal one – not the usual formulaic garbage such as the official statement which, frankly, contradicts everything I’ve ever believed the BBC to stand for.

Thanks (not),

(etc)

The reply:

Dear Mosh

Thank you for your e-mail regarding the closure of the Cult website.

I appreciate you have further concerns about the closure of the website. Rest assured that your complaint has been registered on the daily log. This will be made available throughout the BBC, including the senior management. Feedback of this nature helps us when making decisions about future BBC services and your comment will play a part in this process.

Thank you again for taking time to contact the BBC.

Regards

Katherine Tsang
BBC Information

I think the basic gist of this is “your feedback will be ignored at the highest level”. **** them and **** their license fee. OK, OK, so the only decent stuff on TV these days is either on BBC or Channel 5, but I wonder if I could withhold 2p/month of my direct debit in protest?

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